Private school - how do you afford it?

135 replies

worriedandstressedAAA · 29/12/2018 00:25

In the process of applying to various private schools for DS as the local state secondary is pretty dire. Doing the sums now and, whilst we can afford to send one child, sending two children (DS2 is in year 4) is going to be very tight. I need to go through the sums in more detail but basically think it is doable with a lot of sacrifices, stress and worry. I am divorced so my ex and I will try to share the fees. We are both middle class professionals living in London. I earn 130k p.a. and DH around 90k. I think it's the fact that we are divorced that is making it so difficult as we are basically paying for 2 households. How does everyone else afford it? It's a sh*t load of money.

OP posts:

flossietoot · 29/12/2018 01:03

Don’t be ridiculous- 210k is an huge amount of money. It wont be if you have a huge mortgage but if that is the case you don’t do both private school and expensive houses. I appreciate that London is expensive but it isn’t that much more than Edinburgh where you could easily fund two kids on 210k if you had a more modest home.

Redskyandrainbows67 · 29/12/2018 01:03

I would also agree move to an area with a good state provision and have spare money to pay for extras. You can hire a tutor to top up any subjects you think he needs help in.

FortunesFave · 29/12/2018 00:59

Flossie in London that income is not at all particularly generous.

OhTheRoses · 29/12/2018 00:57

£210k, London, two households, two cars, two children. You probably clear about £11k pcm between you. Depends on outpings but if there are two mortgages I don't think it's doable especially if you factor in potential redundancy and no income for a cpl of blocks of 6 months and then 6 x £7k pa rent at uni........ Although of course you may both be on the cusp of partnerships with magic circle firms?

We didn't commit until we had 4 years of fees saved and a lot of equity in a zone 2 house. Bear in mind the rates at which fees increase. When ds was 8 his fees were about £7500pa. At 18 they were £19000pa (and dd's were £15,000). Add on the extras and the total was closer to £40k.

Move.

windygallows · 29/12/2018 00:43

Many parents get help with fees - from grandparents etc. Something like 1/3 of school fees are paid this way if not more.

That doesn't help your situation but just trying to explain why.

flossietoot · 29/12/2018 00:39

On that income it shouldn’t be an issue- unless your lifestyle is already fairly extravagant. My husband and I brought home 7k a month and it wasn’t a major issue for 2. You will have a lot more than that.

Holidayshopping · 29/12/2018 00:36

Move

LegoPiecesEverywhere · 29/12/2018 00:36

Agree with Fortune that while ex may be willing to pay half now after a few years with a new girlfriend/wife in situ that may change.

LegoPiecesEverywhere · 29/12/2018 00:35

What are your and exh outgoings? Are they likely to stay the same or decrease/increase in the next few years? It really all comes down to that. It is hard to run two households.

FortunesFave · 29/12/2018 00:33

To be perfectly frank, I would consider moving rather than doing this. It's too stressful. I've been there. When we eventually withdrew her aged 10, it was such a relief. We couldn't cope with the worry of the fees and plus we couldn't keep up with her peers.

Their parents were paying for multiple other opportunities for their children, they went skiing, had horses, private music lessons and so forth.

When we sent her to a good state school, we had more money for clubs etc and extra lessons.

Could you move instead? I'd also worry about sharing fees with an ex. What if relations break down or he has another child or something?

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