Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

Private school - how do you afford it?

135 replies

worriedandstressedAAA · 29/12/2018 00:25

In the process of applying to various private schools for DS as the local state secondary is pretty dire. Doing the sums now and, whilst we can afford to send one child, sending two children (DS2 is in year 4) is going to be very tight. I need to go through the sums in more detail but basically think it is doable with a lot of sacrifices, stress and worry. I am divorced so my ex and I will try to share the fees. We are both middle class professionals living in London. I earn 130k p.a. and DH around 90k. I think it's the fact that we are divorced that is making it so difficult as we are basically paying for 2 households. How does everyone else afford it? It's a sh*t load of money.

OP posts:
OhTheRoses · 29/12/2018 11:23

No that's not a good idea. You can move state to private but not private to state. Never works ime The older one won't want to leave and you will give in and the younger will resent you forever. Maybe an 11-13 prep but how will you cope with demanding job and a prep off the beaten track?

Original poster
worriedandstressedAAA · 29/12/2018 11:19

Sorry to drip feed. I have 40k saved so just over 2 years fees. Not enough though.

Is it a bad idea to send DS1 to a private school for 2 years then move in time to get DC2 into a good state secondary then move DS1 in on a sibling place? Part of my reluctance to move is i) massive upheaval, love our house and this area and ii) DS1 is quite immature and may benefit from a smaller more nurturing environment in private school for 2 years or so. Is this a crazy plan?

Tried one grammar and didn't get in. Noone did from DS's school which isn't surprising as it's one of the top grammars in the country. There is another one we didn't try and glad we didn't as over 2000 applicants and noone I know from DS's school, or our other local school, got in.

OP posts:
OhTheRoses · 29/12/2018 11:15

Moving costs more than one child's fees but you have two children. You could buy a nice house 10 miles out for £950k reduce mortgage and have no fees.

ourkidmolly · 29/12/2018 10:54

That's a massive mortgage for one person too. Stressful in itself.

ourkidmolly · 29/12/2018 10:53

I think it's too tight for 2. Grammars? Where are you in London?

Biologifemini · 29/12/2018 10:44

It will be tight
You need at least x2 years fees in the bank in case of a change of circumstances.
Fees also rise about 5% per year
I’d move outside of whatever city you are in too.
If you ex h changes his mind you will be in trouble

mammmamia · 29/12/2018 10:41

Could you apply for a bursary? Sounds like you would have been fine to afford it if you weren’t running 2 households.

Original poster
worriedandstressedAAA · 29/12/2018 10:39

Also to add that my ex has the DC EOW. We looked at state options near him and they are worse than the options here.

So is the general consensus to move house? I feel more comfortable with this idea but only want to do it if really necessary. I keep thinking that I should be able to afford it given my income but in reality the money just isn't there. We have a decent but I certainly wouldn't say extravagant lifestyle.

OP posts:
Original poster
worriedandstressedAAA · 29/12/2018 10:32

Also, my mortgage was a lot less but I had to remortgage to pay my ex off as part of our divorce, so that I could keep the house. i could kill my ex for having an affair and then split as the 2 households issue it what is making this unaffordable.

OP posts:
Original poster
worriedandstressedAAA · 29/12/2018 10:30

Thanks all, very interesting. Just to be clear, I meant my ex (not DH) is on 90k. My current partner in on 45k but was don't share any costs. My ex and I would cover this between us. House is worth around 1.3 million and I have a mortgage of just less than 500k which is around 2.5k per month plus bills. My net pay after deductions for tax, NI, pension etc is £5,600. I get usually 18k per year bonus, 11k after tax, all of which would be put towards school fees. It would be very tight.

I hear all those saying to move. This was plan B but when you look at stamp duty and other moving costs, it basically amounts to the same as private school fees for one child. As others have said, I am also not sure I can rely on my ex to pay his share and he is already being flaky about how much he can contribute. Moving does seem easier but that will also cost. Not sure what to do. My latest plan was to wait and see what offers for privates DS gets and then decide. Our favourite schools are massively oversubscribed so if we only end up with offers from our back-up schools is may be better to move than to fork out a fortune on schools that are not our top choice. That said, we don't really want to move at all.

OP posts:
Redskyandrainbows67 · 29/12/2018 09:31

Londonista - 220k is before tax and to support two households. 40k is after tax.

Hoppinggreen · 29/12/2018 08:15

We afford it by living in Yorkshire

Sashkin · 29/12/2018 01:57

But Londonista if the OP hasn’t already paid their mortgage off, what can they do about that? Not much.

You’re in a very privileged position if you have no mortgage costs in London. Yes we’ll be loaded when we pay ours off too, but that doesn’t do us much good now does it?

SpaceDinosaur · 29/12/2018 01:42

Move somewhere out of the city in the commuter belt with cul de sacs, trees and grammar schools.

londonista1 · 29/12/2018 01:40

If private education is important to you and you can't find 40k p/a out of 220k then you're spending too much on yourselves.

We pay for two London private secondaries on less than half that income, with the caveat that we have minor mortgage expense (certainly not a £1m house) and equity/savings could cover disasters - savings built up by going to state primaries. But the actual fees come out of income.

Sashkin · 29/12/2018 01:28

I don’t think it is doable for most people nowadays if you are in London, have a newish mortgage and plan to pay the fees yourself.

DH and I are both on good salaries (not quite as good as yours OP but six figures between us). No way can we afford the mortgage on a fairly small terraced house in zone 3 (800k), plus 2x £18000 school fees each year. Not “oh we’d have to cut back on holidays”, the mortgage plus school fees is more than we take home after tax.

The people who I know who do send their kids private have family money, ie GPs are paying. Or they bought their houses in 2005 so have no mortgage.

Mediumred · 29/12/2018 01:28

Do you do 50:50 shared care or near to it, could he apply to somewhere else from his dad’s address? I don’t know where you are in London but we really do have some of the best state schools in the country here and also the size of city means schools are in quite close proximity, are there no decent options nearby? Parental education and involvement is a huge determining factor in a child’s educational outcomes and it sounds like your son will be very blessed in those areas, plus you are in a position to buy in extra tutoring help. Good luck with whatever you decide.

OhTheRoses · 29/12/2018 01:21

Most parents at my dd's London independents didn't live in £1m houses either flossie. Only the poorer ones. Edinburgh is really not nearly as expensive as London.

OhTheRoses · 29/12/2018 01:19

There isn't that level of compromise in London I'm afraid. If you move out the schools get better.

flossietoot · 29/12/2018 01:16

OhtheRoses- most of the parents at my daughters expensive school didn’t live in £1 million pound houses, only a handful of the very well off. Most were in houses of half that. Or in flats! Or outside of town a bit. They certainly weren’t all in huge houses. Like I say- you make a compromise somewhere. Less fancy house, a bit further out = more for school fees.

flossietoot · 29/12/2018 01:12

I know Schmoobarb. Must be horrendous. All your pals heading off skiing and to Waitrose and you having to make do with M and S and a week at Eurocamp....

OhTheRoses · 29/12/2018 01:11

I've just googled Edinburgh property prices. £1m buys something significant. In a good part of London that's a 3 bed terrace and a small one.

You can't compare apples with pears.

Redskyandrainbows67 · 29/12/2018 01:11

It isn’t 210k though is it? It’s £130k and paying half of the school fees?

Schmoobarb · 29/12/2018 01:09

Flossie in London that income is not at all particularly generous.

Oh here we go, didn’t take long ;)

Schmoobarb · 29/12/2018 01:07

I earn 130k p.a. and DH around 90k.

Blimey. Considering we earn around 20% of that between us (professional jobs too!) and I opened this thread because I’ve been wondering if we could ever make it work I don’t feel too bad now that we can’t! No advice OP but I hope you manage a soution that suits you and your children. :)

Swipe left for the next trending thread