Private school - how do you afford it?

Husband and I worked 2 jobs each for our 2 children for 16 years. Worth every penny, would do it all again. Fantastic.

I’d also say your chances of a bursary might be slim due to your equity. One of the schools near me is unusually transparent in its criteria and it is quite clear that they would be looking at capital as well as income.

I’ve been doing the sums myself for future years and however you look at it, it is a major commitment and you would have a chance in lifestyle, particularly for years where you were double running fees. However, while your numbers seem toght, I’d be tempted as you have the following going for you:

1. considerable equity. You would have options around remortgaging plus a great safety net if everything ever went totally wrong. Are you already on a reasonable rate? Could you extend the term?

2. could you look at your pension contributions and temporarily reduce? You seem to have some fairly chunky dedications for something (so I was assuming pension). Even with a 10% pension, salary calculator suggests you should be getting £6k plus a month not the 5.6k in your post. If those deductions are for tax on benefits, could you reduce those? As an example, we were shocked when we realised how much my ‘free’ gym membership and my husband’s private health insurance was costing us in tax and have been a bit wary of benefits since.

3. your bonus after tax would go a long way to paying for one child’s fees and you can expect support from your ex.

4. again this might be an incorrect assumption but I’m assuming you’ve got a city job with expectations of long hours. If you move and commute, your quality of life might not be as good. I couldn’t make my commute work with childcare where I live if I was single and my commuting costs are high.

If you have a spare room with en suite I would consider an au pair to provide your wrap around childcare. You would be very desirable in central London and could drastically reduce childcare costs

If your children are smart you won't need to pay for additional tutoring no matter what school they go to. A girl at my daughters bog standard comp (yes, where a high proportion of children live on estates shock horror and who aren't white and middle class) got 11 level 9s at gcse last year.

We moved out of London. Renting plus school fees is less than paying London school fees.

Yes, it will be tight and as PP have said, you need to factor in other costs like lunches, uniforms, trips and external exams. Plus the fees will go up every year.

Gah! Why do I read these threads? The unbearable snobbery is so ugly and stomach- churning.

I didn’t say we were struggling. I said we couldn’t comfortably have put 2 through. And our outgoings and situation are better than ops.

You realise if you earn £160k a good proportion of that is lost in tax and pension, yes?

We moved out of London to afford it. No way we could pay mortgage/rent in London and have children.

Huh? If you have 15k fees and 16k mortgage, how are you struggling on 165k/year?

On other posts, bursaries are, quite rightly, a no go at OP's level of income, no matter what their mortgage is. St Paul's has, I think, the highest threshold, where there are partial bursaries available at £100k. City is £70k for partial, £40k for full, and these are few and genius-level competitive. Scholarships in some of the top academics are also honorary (£250 per term) rather than substantial as they channel their money to bursaries.

Move to Lincolnshire! Loads of great Grammar schools, low population and the houses are very affordable. Plus it's beautiful and peaceful.

I think you’ll struggle actually. We earn approx £165k and have one in from yr 7 through to 6th form. She has an academic scholarship which knocks off 20% of the £18k (and rising) fees. Our mortgage is (£1300 pm) and we have a lot of equity. Also saved 4 years of fees in case the worst happened.

I don’t think we could have put 2 children through. We don’t have foreign holidays anymore and eat out once a week. We have a nice car (albeit rented). I wouldn’t say we make ‘sacrifices’ as that’s outrageous to say when some people have bugger all by comparison, but we’d have more of a life of Riley without the fees. At the school I’d say we’re bottom tier earnings, most mothers don’t work, lots of big houses. But the kids all rub along well and no one shows off that I know of. There are also people there on bursaries (20% of kids) and they will obviously be far less well off than us.

Jillscarlett please name them and let me compare their gcse, A'Level results and HE destinations with the best independents closest to them.

“Half the children from the naice roads go to the state school and all the dc from the estate. Some of these schools are like a tale of two cities.”

Many London schools perform very well on this diversity of students, though. It doesn’t make them not-good schools.

OP, can you say which state school (s) you are most likely to get allocated?

I presume you are waiting for the Allocation Day in March 2019.

If you move you would need to make a late application to a new school in a new area and probably go on tne waiting list. Fine if you can move right on top of the school you like and it admits in distance because waiting lists are held in order of how you meet the criteria.

But honestly, unless you could move before mid March, and to very close to the school I would say you have left it too late for the state option. Unless your local state would be acceptable.

We might have more detailed knowledge of it.

I meant both academically and friendship. Academically, in our particular case, it would have been tough as the school DS was allocated handed heavy amount of homework from Day 1. On top of extra-curricular, longer day and journey, there wasn't much free time. Doable but not fun at all. And, messing around after settling in a new environment/routine/friendship... I thought, 12-13 years old would be difficult enough age... But this was strictly in our case and others would manage just fine as you say.

Neleus if you mean academically tough outside tutoring can prep for that especiallly with free time from low amount of homework during year 7 to 8 in most comprehensives. If you mean that for some DCs it is tough to restart friendship groups by moving school then yes it could be but many manage it fine.
IMO it is so much harder doing the reverse from private to secondary because of depleted funds which is what the OP is risking depending on her DH’s coopération plus mortgage interest rates potentially increasing.

sendsummer, that's what I thought I would consider when we were making decisions for DS after primary school. But I realised moving from state secondary to independent school at 13+ would be quite tough on a child. Of course it depends on the child, where you live, and which school you are aiming at though.

How much are your bills and how do they break down?

Do you take holidays, how often and on average what do they cost (Inc spending money)?

Will the school remove the need for you to also pay for after school childcare?

Will all extracurriculars be through school, or will you still need to pay for clubs/activities?

Do you ‘go out’, how often and at what cost from your own income?

How much money do you otherwise spend? ( coffee, cake, books, newspapers, plants for the garden, takeout, shows, cinema...)

You need to factor all of the above in and look very hard at ‘needs’ vs ‘wants’.

We were lucky enough to get a large bursary for our daughter (they will offer the same bursary for our son but he's not old enough yet) because she went into the school on their first year of opening, they wanted local children and they only had 100 students across the school in the first year, their numbers have risen a lot since. She's in year nine now. It isn't a school in a city.

I would place your DS1 in state school but in year 8 assess how it is going and consider private school entry at year 9. For those first 2 years use money saved for tutoring if needed, paying off your credit card and mortgage overpayments.

the mortgage plus school fees is more than we take home after tax

If that is actually the case then you could apply to many private schools for a bursary/financial aid to help with fees.

A few primary, many prep and nearly all senior schools in my part of London will have a generous bursary scheme.

Pmsl at pp’s suggestion of asking for a discount. London schools are up to 10 x oversubscribed with parents willing to pay every penny, discounts will only happen if the child is so amazing that they are offered a scholarship or a bursary (v unlikely at op’s level of income)