Boarding school - is it normal?

@user19991999 horrible experience for you, totally crap and completely understand why you never want to be part of it again. Lots don't just blindly send their DC off to board its an educational/experiential decision. There was an interesting thread about this recently canvassing views on the pros and cons. Sadly though, it seems many wouldn't dream of sending their DC anywhere else, lord only knowa what would happen to them, to paraphrase one pp [on that thread]

How old is he OP?

8? 11? 13? 16?

Just spoken to my 'boarder', who confirms was loads of food. But has sat and done prep wrapped in duvet/blanket,as freezing cold. This was the old buildings, as heating was on. Same in summer, had to all sleep downstairs to keep cool.

I went ot boarding school, as did my brothers, and there was ALWAYS stacks of bread and butter on the table to fill up on.
So, breakfast, something cooked, plus as much toast as you can eat
Lunch loads of seconds of potato etc
afternoon tea, cake plus as much bread butter and jam as you wanted and so on.

But even so, my eldest brother was rowing and he then went to the chippy and ate a huge portion of chips/fish and chips most nights about one hour after dinner. He also grew 7 inches in one year and just could not eat enough calories, stick insect thin.

I have a 15 year old, tall and thin, and he will eat 3 meals (vast quantities of cereal for breakfast, school lunch, cooked dinner at home) and he takes 2 ham rolls in for snack, plus cake when he gets home from school, and he then at 10 pm cooks himself something, or eats about 4 pieces of toast.

Teeenage boys can need huge amount. But you shouldn't have to be providing all that through tuck, school needs to be providing fill up food - toast!

He's cold AND hungry. Him taking that to hm is more than many could do. I would need to step in and make sure its properly managed. Tuck is only extra s. You cannot make up proper meals with energy bars and crisps and tuck stuff like cakes and so on.
Does he have kitchen access in-house?

.but you have given him warm layers that he doesn't wear? Don't you find that odd?
If you're actually cold you will wear anything and everything in bed, including jogging pants and jumpers, gloves and hats.
I don't get it.
Does he share his room, is he in a dorm?

Sometimes children find something to complain about whether it’s justified or not. Sometimes feeling cold once can be blown up to being repeatedly cold. Girls at my DDs school said they couldn’t find anything to eat that they liked. Obviously with a salad bar, jacket potatoes every day plus various toppings and three choices of hot jeans, there was something available but not for the fussy eaters. If children find aspects to boarding life not for them, then they are not really suitable as boarders. Children that have the odd whinge are different and it’s more a letting off steam.

Talking usually sorts it out. Those who want to board adjust. If he’s still complaining between now and Christmas then you might have to think if this is the right eduvstionbfor him at this stage of his life. Also, ask the school for menus and second helpings.

The bedding rule is stupid. I’m all for breaking that one! What could young people possibly do with extra bedding that would be against health and safety good practice?

Scrub *same (don't know how that snuck in there!)

The fact that he's not wearing the same layers that you send tell me there's no point in just sending in yet more layers.
Or more food.
He's sounds like he's complaining about things that might make you take him out.

The other approach could be to ask him how he would feel about you taking him out of there because you are not happy about things. If he's desperate to stay, that's different....

Looks like you have loads of advice and I don’t have a child a boarding school but one suggestion, Merino PJs of just merino base layers as PJs. I wear them and always send my DC with them on camps. They never remember to wear additional layers. I hope that you get to the bottom of it. It must be miserable for you and him.

It's also not very supportive to counter his concerns with the fact that other boys aren't cold or hungry.

Please do listen to shrek and look into this.

There is a chance he is unhappy for some reason. He should feel you will fight his corner and that he can come to you with concerns.

I have nothing against boarding schools but I feel incredibly sad for a young boy who tells his mum he is regularly hungry at is cold at night, and who is told to sort it out himself the first instance.

Yes, maybe ideally he would sort this himself but he is struggling with it and a helping hand would be a nice thing to offer.

You should feel very comfortable about nicely raising this with the school.

Are you sure he's happy there?
Or that you've provided things he is comfortable to wear, that he's not getting bullied?
Unless the school is in financial trouble, this isn't ringing quite true.
You say there are other boys not cold and hungry. V weird about the bedding, but their heating must be on now. Ask to call by in the evening, in house, to see house parent/temperature and dinner offering for yourself. Do you have a good relationship with HP? Explain whats going on and you are worried that something is going on with him.

As a parent without a child in boarding school this all sounds fucking bonkers. You have a cold, hungry child, you are still the parent, step up and do something about it

I doubt the amount of food has changed, but he might be a bit bored of it. The menu in our school is on a 3 week rota, but there is a choice of main, salad, soup, bread, fruit & pudding. But I imagine the novelty has worn off.
With regards to bedding, my DS used to have a thick blanket. It will also be worth him flagging up the temperature as maybe the radiator in his room has broken/ been turned down. But unless he mentions it no-one will know! I am a great believer that the pupils should bring these problems up with house staff before you go bowling in

At DC’s various schools everything in the fridge got stolen and laptops and phones were never touched, so the food always got locked away in drawers. Just the way it is and always will be.
OP I suggest you ask for a meeting with housemaster to chat about DS and arrange for something at around 12.00. That way, you can simply aske to be taken to dining room to see for yourself and to bedroom to see for yourself. It’s the only way you will know for sure.
Pot noodles were always the food of choice for my kids in the winter, and instant hot choc, too. Neither very healthy but with the amount of sport they alll did I felt I could let it go.

We send pot noodles, jelly tubs, protein bars, nuts and seeds (no ban thankfully), cereal bars etc.

at my boarding school we had:
Breakfast in the morning - always a hot option along with cereals and toast and fruit etc
lunch was always several options along with jacket potato and salad bar and bread plus various puddings.
Afterschool the boarding houses opened (everyone was affiliated to one of the houses) and theres was never ending toast and fruit.
Then dinner was again similar to lunch.
Toast and fruit was always available in the boarding houses and there was a tuck shop in each one. We also used to stock up on things like pasta and sauces packets and cup a soups from the supermarket.
Sunday we had breakfast, then a full sunday roast and pudding after church and then tea in the evening.

The foreign students (we had lots from honk kong ) used to have loads of things like noodles etc and i am sure some had things like slow cookers in thier rooms!!!)

Snacks you could send -
Chocolate raisins
rice cakes
various fruit/veg sticks
pots of jelly
cup a soups (i assume there is access to a kettle???)
instant noodles
tuna salad tin things (the ones with other stuff already in them)
if he has access to a toaster - crumpets and ready made pancakes
if access to a microwave - soups and bread rolls
popcorn
dried banana chips

Absolutely not normal.
DD is at 6th form boarding school where everyone compulsorily does huge amounts of exercise.
She does send me a list of food she wants at home every exeat because she can’t get it at school - but I’m not going to complain that they don’t supply sushi or mango.

She is v happy with portion sizes, and has said the exercise regime is making her eat loads. They have a kitchen per floor in boarding house which is kept fully stocked with bread and cheese and Chocolate spread so most kids make themselves a sandwich for supper as well. And they have a toaster kettle and microwave so she takes instant noodles and non perishable snack boxes with her in case she fancies variety

Def bring up with housemaster - these complaints about “safer” things could be indicative of more deep seated unhappiness that he needs you to help get over