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Secondary education

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Original poster

Who decides? Days left 😩

63 replies

Marypoppins19 · 24/10/2018 07:18

Two really good schools. One smaller, the other has been outstanding for longer. Smaller is a pain to get to but DS likes it much more.
Second School I prefer from ease of travel but I do understand some of his reservations - big, confident, a few characters from his previous school going who put him off. Lots of pressure to go there as everyone sends their kids there!!! Results slightly better there too. Wwyd?

OP posts:
Original poster
Marypoppins19 · 24/10/2018 08:35

Thank you for the blunt and honest replies which is very much needed right now! I think my worry is until he actually tries the walk back from the station etc he doesn’t really know - so going to do it tomorrow! It’s about 20/25 mins
Most days I can arrange something- it’s doable but will always take planning or cost.

OP posts:
sequin2000 · 24/10/2018 08:26

No such thing as too calm in my opinion! We had an identical choice last year and chose the smaller school further away. Our daughter is extremely happy and the results this year beat the larger school.

theodoracrainsgloves · 24/10/2018 08:18

If you lay it out in plain terms, YABU: you want to send your son to a school he doesn't like as much, alongside kids he'd rather escape, because it's more convenient/less worry for you.

However, I also subscribe to the theory that parents should have the final say, because it's too important a decision. If you truly believe bigger is the best option, send him there. But be prepared for him to be unhappy about it.

summacummamumma · 24/10/2018 08:17

How far is the wall back/to the train station?

weaselwords · 24/10/2018 08:16

Let him choose in this situation, as there is no real “bad” choice.

twoheaped · 24/10/2018 08:15

I would disregard the distance/ease to get to and choose the school that you think will suit your dc best.
Your other child doesn't have to go to the same school, they can go to the one that suits them best.

cece · 24/10/2018 08:14

None of my DC did many after school clubs so I'd take them out of the equation if it were me deciding.

Original poster
Marypoppins19 · 24/10/2018 08:11

Clubs will be important too my younger son following in 2 years time.
Oldest would happily not do clubs

OP posts:
Original poster
Marypoppins19 · 24/10/2018 08:10

Bigger school is quite full on and busy
Smaller school was very calm but possibly a bit too calm?!?
The walk back from the station further away is doable but in the winter ??? A taxi is £5.....

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Original poster
Marypoppins19 · 24/10/2018 08:07

So smaller school intake is 7x30
Larger is 8x30 so not a big difference but the smaller school is built up not out and certainly feels smaller. It looks more familiar to a primary I think. Smaller school you can do all the afternoon clubs as the trains return every 20mins. Bigger school bus leaves at the end of the day so if you did a club you then need collecting or walk into town which is a quite far.
Smaller school train station is a long walk from our house, closer station had no footpath home!!!! I can arrange lifts back from there but it will always take planning. If he did a club at smaller school, I can collect on my way back from work.

OP posts:
RedSkyLastNight · 24/10/2018 07:58

Outstanding for longer means nothing (outstanding schools tend not to be inspected so frequently).

How much of a pain is a pain? I think secondary school DC should be able to independently get to and from school if at all possible (including after attending after school clubs).

How small is small? Very small and he may struggle to find like minded friends (it took my DS ages in a year group of 240). Remember that your child won't necessarily be aware of the "Bigness" of a school as they will only be exposed to smaller groups of children at any one time. And they will definitely be able to avoid children they don't like in a big school!

Why does DS prefer the smaller one? As in, positive things about it, not negative things about the other school.

Original poster
Marypoppins19 · 24/10/2018 07:44

Well his school choice is closer and he can do extra curricular there, but it involves a train a fair walk.
My choI’ve further away, clubs less possible but bus door to door.

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MaisyPops · 24/10/2018 07:24

Closer school personally and you decide. I'm of the view that school choices have child input but it's a parental decision.

Remind DC that secondary school is a very different pond. Just because some kids had a name for themselves at primary doesn't mean that status carries to secondary.

I've had a chat with senior leadership about a 'notorious' child according to primary. They are the most lovely, polite child we could ask for. The change and move to big school has done them good.

Dc also needs to think about seeing friends out of school, how they'll manage any extra curriculars (Is there public transport at the right time for enrichment or revision sessions?)

I'd rationally calm his reservations and you make the call you think is best.

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