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Original poster

Selective grammar or private school?

39 replies

Meggy12 · 17/10/2018 10:18

My DD has just been offered a place at a selective grammar 45 minutes away and a selective independent school 15 minutes away. The independent school has small class sizes but their results are nowhere near as impressive as the selective grammar. Also, I heard the kids can be quite snobby at the independent school so it is not ideal in that respect either, as well as the £12K per year cost!

However, I think her life would be simpler at the independent school and a whole lot less tiring. I'm worried if she will have the energy to do her homework after a long day at school and being away from home from 7:30am to 5pm. While the state grammar school will stretch her, is there any point in over-stressing an 11-year old? Some kids do well anywhere, don't they?

OP posts:
Original poster
Meggy12 · 18/10/2018 09:20

Thanks for the advice, it’s been very stressful navigating the high school applications and making a right decision. My DD is 10 and won't be 11 till the next summer, so it seems awfully early for her to decide where she'll be going for the next 7 years. It's like trying to see into the future and imagining her in each environment and seeing how she would fit in. Another thing to bear in mind is that she is very artistic and creative, not sure if that side is catered for at grammar schools. On the other hand, as she's bright it would be good for her to be pushed in areas other than art, but will she be happy is anyone's guess.

Think the sensible thing would be to put the grammar school on the LA preference form and forget about it till March when the actual offers come out. Rightly or wrongl,y we said it will be her decision at that point, as she'll have to travel if she decides to go to the grammar school, and there will be less money for holidays if she was to go to the private school.

OP posts:
Waspnest · 18/10/2018 01:09

I think you need to check the admission criteria for the grammar school. We don't live in a grammar school area but in the nearest town there are two super selective grammars - one for girls, one for boys. Anyone can take the entrance exam and if they pass they get the general 'your child is considered suitable for this school and we strongly recommend that you put the school on your application form blah blah blah' BUT catchment area kids get priority. Any places left after that go to kids in the order of their exam scores (which means that some are apparently travelling 30+ miles everyday). I know of a couple of kids who passed the exams last year but didn't get places in March. So check the admission criteria.

crisscrosscranky · 17/10/2018 21:36

Not sure what "people like us" means but it sounds racist when paired with "mostly Asians" - parents at the grammars, regardless of creed or colour, have one massive thing it common; they genuinely care about their DC's education.

GaribaldiGirl · 17/10/2018 16:28

Oh didn’t post the first half....

I have experience of both types of school and think grammars are amazing for bright children.

GaribaldiGirl · 17/10/2018 16:27

Whoops accidentally pressed post....

But the main downside is less sport and drama - if that bothers you. Also possibly less support if there are any problems simply because they have less ££s to spend and bigger classes.

BarbarianMum · 17/10/2018 16:17

Laughing here at the idea that boys will "diffuse the tension". I mean, I know it'll be tough on your dd to be educated in an environment with low levels of misogyny and sexual harassment but I'm sure she'd cope.

Whatever you decide remember you are not just selecting a school for an 11 year old but also a 12, 13, 14, 15 and 16 year old.

LIZS · 17/10/2018 12:52

Doesn't it depend on who else applies for the limited places? Even if you "pass" academically noone can guarantee a place at this stage unless it is purely ranked on score and hers was exceptional.

Original poster
Meggy12 · 17/10/2018 12:46

Thank you for your replies, just to confirm - we haven't been offered a place at grammar school yet, but the letter says "we strongly encourage you to include us on your Local Authority preference form". Think that means she is likely to be offered a place, is that correct?

The grammar school is in the urban area, with majority Asian children, while we are quite rural, so that will be a change, but think she'll be ok as she's quite sociable. She’s used to big classes – they are 33 in her year 6 class but largely similar background to us. My other concern is the all-girls aspect of the school, is there going to be lots of arguing when you stick 30 high achieving teenage girls together without the boys to diffuse the tension?

OP posts:
Tearsofthemushroom · 17/10/2018 10:57

It doesn't necessarily mean much if a school says that it is academically selective, if they need pupil numbers then the level needed to get into the school is likely to fall. If there is a good grammar school nearby then this is likely to cream off at least some of the better pupils. It would be worth having a look at the government league tables to see what their progress scores look like - just because the grammar school does better, it doesn't mean that individual children don't perform better for their ability in the independent school (or the other way around).

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 17/10/2018 10:50

PS I have to go collect them when they do after school clubs as there’s no bus after a certain time, something else to check, we live rurally though so maybe easier if you live nearer to civilisation Smile

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 17/10/2018 10:48

All I can add is my DDs (year 10 and 11) are at school about an hour away and leave home at 7am and get back at approx 5pm and they are permanently knackered. Then of course there are after school clubs for sport and music that they enjoy but are also expected to attend if doing music or PE GCSE, which means getting home after 6pm. Then doing homework. The crowding and noise are not really conducive to getting work done on the bus. However, they love the school and it is an excellent school (pastorally too which is important) so I couldn’t honestly say we wouldn’t choose the same again given the choice. It’s a consideration but not the biggest in other words.

TJsAunt · 17/10/2018 10:40

am intrigued as to how you have offers already - didn't think they came out until the Spring?

There's so much more to schools than exam results IMO. Which school seemed like the better fit for your dd academically/pastorally/socially? A Grammar school is not an inherently stress place to be (and nor is an Independent inherently snobby) - you really need to look round both schools at open days and on normal working days to get a feel for them and which schools suits your dd best.

LaDameAuxLicornes · 17/10/2018 10:34

I don't think a 45 minute journey to school is too bad if the school is a good fit. Would it be on the bus? If so, there may be certain bits of homework she can do on the bus home to make use of a "dead" part of the day (learning foreign language grammar and vocab or science terminology for example, any rote learning, basically anything that doesn't involve needing to write). It's pretty normal for kids at private or grammar schools to travel from some distance every day. If she's been offered a place then I would assume that she will be up to the pace of the grammar school. For the sake of the better results and the enormous financial saving I would be inclined to send her there unless you have a good reason for thinking that she wouldn't be happy there.

wwwmummy · 17/10/2018 10:34

I would choose grammar school if the other option is an average independent school, given that the child is academic.

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