How strict are you with your Year 7?

Sounds silly, but how do you establish parental controls to limit internet access and installation of new apps?
I tried to limit settings and internet use on DD new phone (low range model), but could not. Which apps are good for parental control to limit settings (mobile data) and websites, to limit time allowed etc?

interesting to read all of this. Y7 DD walks a mile to school and back, usually with a friend, though sometimes alone. Expected to (and does) text if staying after school or hanging around with friends etc.
Been into town with friends a few times.
Phone is £10 a month, paid by me, unlimited calls and texts, not much data. She has WhatsApp. Did my research about it, especially in the light of the recent age increase, and decided I was happy with it. The photosharing and ability to keep in touch with friends and relatives overseas were the deciding factors for me. No big group chats as yet though.
We have a no-tech day at home once a week - she is allowed to briefly check and respond to messages (e.g. about homework/meeting for school tomorrow) on those days, but not to spend the usual ages messaging 'Lol' 'LOLLOL' at her friends.
Bed at 8.30ish, lights out at 9. So far, so good, we are all enjoying this stage for now...

The free image and emoji sending on whatsapp is a huge benefit. otherwise I can't see how its different to text.

We don't allow snapchat however. I like to occasionally check what they are saying and don't like the fact that the evidence trail disappears...

we live in a small rural town so I'm quite relaxed about dd roaming more or less freely. My rules are she has to have her phone about her person and also answer the bloody thing ( only source of tension at the moment) And I prefer her to be in before dark as there are older teens getting up to nefarious activities on the park.

She occasionally goes into town at weekends for lunch with her friends in Costa and the like (not much choice here!)

Bed time is 9pm as it has been for ages.

YY to other posters saying that different families and different rules starts to cause a bit of difficulty. Dd's best friend doesn't have as much freedom as her and I can see the relationship beginning to drift a bit which is a shame.

I am OK with WhatsApp as it is basically just text messaging with the facility to have a group chat. DD had it most of last year. At one point the messages got a bit OTT on the group chats so I told her no more groups but I have allowed two this year - one for keeping in touch with old primary school friends (they have arranged to meet up at the park etc) and one for her current class (largely homework chat), both of which serve a useful purpose. We've not had any issues with too many messages so far this year - think they are all too busy to be messaging all the time!

I don't see any useful purpose for Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook etc so she won't be getting any of those until she is much older, age limits or not.

Phone has high restrictions and she has no clue about that pin or even what her Apple password is.
No social media yet and no whatsapp. She has unlimited texts so doesn’t need WhatsApp. Group chat on text does the same thing except it is easier to block people.

I do think there is a naivety about WhatsApp and not enough parents educate themselves on apps before allowing access.

We haven’t been asked about social media yet but I really don’t like the
‘They’ll be ostracised for not having it’ reasoning. You wouldn’t say this about allowing them drugs and social media does have some of the same addictive and mentally harming effects.

DD is also year 7.
She is driven to and from school as it's quite a distance along main roads.
She has a £10 unlimited calls/texts and 4GB minutes deal from Superdrug (on a very crappy old phone) and gets money as and when (usually amounts to £10 every week and a half) for hot chocolate and snacks (I was never given money for the tuck shop so know how crap that is).
She has now started washing up, hanging washing on the line and bringing it in. She puts her own washing away and has to keep her room moderately neat. She also has to do her homework (I can check as it's all done online). All her clubs are luckily free.
She has yet to venture anywhere with friends at a weekend, has never asked to thank Christ! (I'm not looking forward to that, can you tell?)

My year 7 has a phone similar to other contracts which we pay. She gets £15 a month pocket money on nimbl card in exchange for daily chores. She doesn't often go to town but she can if she likes. She not gone by herself in the bus yet. She has a key and gets herself to school on my work days and after school she texts my sister (who is my childcare for other 2) to tell her if she's going home or to a friend's house.

She is allowed out til 5.30 as that's when we eat (I have a 4 yr old) I leave her to get on with hw but I check up online what she should be doing and she shows it to me after.

We live 10 mins from big supermarket so she's allowed anywhere around the estate within the 2 main roads including the supermarket.

I usually stop phones and tablets by 8pm and they (her and 9 year old) either watch a programme or read after that. Weekdays she's in bed with lights out by 8.30. She's s big sleeper!!! Weekends 9.30 latest. She is rubbish on sleepovers lol

Ds walks to and from school but it’s only 15 minutes . He has a mobile but knows I check it regularly. He has snapchat, only had friends on it.

His lunch money is on a prepaid card and he gets some change for a snack on way home. If he was doing something with a friend in his free time eg swimming / cinema etc we’d pay.

He doesn’t go far without us. He’s allowed to the local supermarket and the park and sports centre but they’re all 5 minutes away. He has to stay in touch and isn’t allowed after dark (or after 830 in summer).

He’s in bed about 915/30 during the week because he usually has football until 8/830.

No social media here at the moment, I know several already had WhatsApp in primary and Snapchat as well but we try our best to go against it.

Saying that, it seems to be the method to communicate so if it comes to the point that DD is left out we have to consider it.

Luckily the school is teaching the official line of "legal age of 13" so we are lucky in this respect.

Social media worries me and I find it hard that others all seem to have it.

Interesting with the bed times. My 10 year old is avout to start guides and both packs near us finish at 9pm!!!

Are you guys all okay with whatsapp even befofe theyre 13 (soon to be 16).

whatsapp is just text messaging with free photo sending. I don't have an issue with it.

Our Yr 7 has no phone - but we're getting one at Xmas maybe - and school lunches paid for. No social media as it's no good for you (I work in social media so know what I'm on about!).

He has a £20 note in his blazer but hasn't touched it all term.

He reads in bed from half eight then lights out about 9.15. He's up at 7am.

He is in the top set and really sensible and good - we haven't had to tell him off for anything apart from the usual come on do your homework.

Sorry for sounding smug. Our other DC are naughtier but this one is bloody lovely and requires minimum parenting.

Are you guys all okay with whatsapp even befofe theyre 13 (soon to be 16). Do you lie about their age?

It seems to be theyre using imessage here but ive never had an iphone so dont know about it!

Im interested in apps that allow you to know whats on their phone though and stop them downloading things?

No roaming here as they are not allowed to take their phone to school
They might pop into a shop on the way home but that's it

No social media apart from WhatsApp
Bedtime is 9pm

@Cauliflowersqueeze My DS has WhatsApp but nothing else. He is nagging for Instagram but I've said not yet.

What I find most difficult is that in primary most parents have the same rules but suddenly in secondary some kids are allowed a lot more freedom than others. Parenting styles seem to vary so much as they get older.

This can cause conflict if your DC have friends that want to hang out in town everyday after school or if their friends have social media and your DC do not. It is hard to find a balance especially when you are hearing that the are the only one not doing something and feeling left out. I am constantly questioning myself.

Ive also opened bank accounts with debit cards for both DC (13 and 11) since we've had a couple of emergency situations where school bus has broken down etc. Plus they have a local public transport card and an emergency fiver which they have to keep with them at all times.

DS has an unlimited phone contract which costs us £12 a month. Plus a tablet for school but that doesn't have a sim card.

Interesting. Not yet yr 7 but aware this is the year everything changes.

Currently not too keen on a smartphone (amd whatsapp is moving from 13 to 16 age limit).

More worried about phone issues than I am walking to school at the moment!

We are finding a lot of homework (last night three lots all in for today) and so bedtime is creeping up to 9pm some nights. DS is shattered quite honestly. He has whatsapp and there are lot of group chats going on but we have a no devices upstairs rule now and all devices handed back to be charged downstairs by 8.30pm

Yes 8pm bedtime here too unless she’s doing an activity like cricket or Guides that keeps her out of the house longer.

DD has none of those, apart from WhatsApp, which is basically just texting. I allowed her to get it so she could join a group chat with her old class from primary. She also has a group chat with her new Y7 class which is v helpful for checking up with the others about homework etc. I do monitor it, so she's well aware that I will revoke this privilege if anything remotely inappropriate goes on.