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Original poster

The old private v state - we have to choose!!

56 replies

Miladymilord · 02/10/2018 07:31

If your dd (year 8) was at a good local comprehensive school but had been offered a scholarship and bursary to a good local independent school, what would you do?

She's extremely sporty (hence scholarship and bursary).

But she's lovely!! She's so calm and kind and tolerant of all kinds of people. She has loads of friends. She's on the school council and she's bright and confident. She likes the boys and they like her. She finishes early (3). Teachers really seem to like her. She's making good academic progress. I don't want her to change!

Indie is single sex, competitive and results are far better as much as you can compare. Sport is very good. It's mainly boarding but they have a few day who integrate well (a day girl is currently deputy head). It's pretty posh. Huge amounts of extra curricular. Staff seem very happy and smiley. Girls too, although I know there's a few wild ones, loads of smoking by year 11 (I have a friend with a dd there).

I don't know what to do!!

Dd wants to go but has reservations, probably because I am in two minds. Dh is in doubt private school but is a bit worried about the (tiny!) cost.

Help!

OP posts:
meditrina · 02/10/2018 07:44

Go with her preference.

That you think she'll stop being lovely is a reflection of your prejudices and priorities, not hers.

She can always swop back for sixth form if she decides she doesn't like it. But nothing in the way you describe her suggests her opinion on where she wants to be next is at all likely to be duff.

You're just having cold feet - if you didn't want her there you wouldn't have gone through with the exams/assessments/intrusive bursary form etc.

And just think how you would feel if you had gone through a detailed selection process for a new role, had been successful, and then were told you couldn't do it, even though you still wanted to and you know they want you too.

Original poster
Miladymilord · 02/10/2018 07:37

It's the sport really. It's so draining driving her everywhere and the school can manage this (will take her to her club as well as providing more school opportunities)

OP posts:
BigGreenOlives · 02/10/2018 07:36

Oh & most high level sport is out of school anyway, if you play county netball or hockey the training is in the evening.

BigGreenOlives · 02/10/2018 07:35

Keep her where she is, there are various schemes you can only get on (justifiably) if you are at or went to a state school. There will be students smoking by year 11 at all schools.

Original poster
Miladymilord · 02/10/2018 07:35

That's what I want to do I think. I could kick myself for even starting this.

OP posts:
crunchtime · 02/10/2018 07:32

keep her where she is