The old private v state - we have to choose!!

The academic record of the private school is something to factor in. But, friendship is the most important thing. If she has is happy and successful where she is then only move if it’s what she wants

I think the opportunities DD will have at an independent/boarding school will be in a different league to a comp regardless of how good that school might be. The class sizes, facilities, etc will be greater and our experience of DDs at boarding school is that they are stimulated and encouraged way more. The independent sector simply is more adept at getting its pupils to the front of the queue in life and, in this day and age, that really matters.

I don’t think you should have gone down this route unless you intended to move her. It’s very unfair to now be having wobbles.

My twopenneth:

Teenagers being happy. I would not underestimate the importance of this, it’s actually quite rare. It sounds like she’s doing really well at her current school. You might upset the Applecart so important to have clear reasons for doing so.

Sport at some private schools is immense. If she has sporting ambitions (ie career ones) then it’s worth considering.

What does she want? Make sure she’s thought it all through. As you’ve put her through the process then it should now be her decision.

The private school wiillhave selected through wealth and social advantage at a minimum. So very difficult to compare academic outcomes. 25% 7/8/9 at a comp is very good.

Near me it would depend on the Sport as to which would be best for a talented sporty girl.
State school plus local clubs would be just as good/better for most sports and DC's state school has produced a number of Olympians, so has proved its flexibility.
BUT if you were a girl interested in either: a) a less played team sport or b) a less common individual sport or possibly c) swimming then one particular local private girl's school could be a better choice.
But only really for those sports, and if you were interested in other team sports you might be worse off.
It also wouldn't necessarily mean you didn't need an external club as well later. (So you might still be doing 5am sessions at the public pool.)

Locally to us, the private schools dominate all the performance sports centres. They just play much more hockey, netball etc in school and generally have expert coaches rather than a general PE teacher so the air students just get much better. I think there are also some statistics which said the majority of Olympians went to private school but I may be wrong.

My DD got a music award and at year 10 she dropped the instrument. She played cello at school but her main instruments were piano an harpsichord. However you don’t get awards for those instruments. She can’t stand the cello now and dropped it this year. They have kept the award as she is doing GCSE in music and top of her class does a lot of composing and now plays piano at shows instead of cello. Scholarships are usually reviewed every year.

while I agree that she may not always choose to be as sporty, a sports scholarship can be a means to an end

What happens to the sports scholarship, if she does decide at some point that she no longer wants to be sporty, is fed up with playing for the school in every match etc? Is there a 'continued performance' clause?

And I believe privately educated pupils are also over-represented amongst Olympic athletes too.

To the poster who warned about not being able to keep up with more wealthy parents, I can only say that this was not an issue for us, though I can imagine it can be in some cases.

My daughters' state primary friends were much more obsessed with labels and their appearance than their independent secondary school friends were. (I was amazed that some started having heir legs waxed and their hair highlighted when still at primary school).

And I would say that many of their primary school parents had as much disposable income as the independent parents did (once they had paid school fees). Obviously there were some very wealthy parents at the independent, and some very disadvantaged at the state school, but there was a considerable overlap in the middle.

So you have to opportunity to give her a massive advantage in life but you are dithering? There is a reason why private school graduates are over represented in the upper echelons of our society. They are better educated. This school will offer her better grades, presumably a better education to go with the grades, an opportunity to learn a new set of social skills, more support with extra curricular etc. What exactly do you think she has to gain by keeping her where she already is?

I think it would be wrong for DD to get to the point of a bursary and for you to then say no.
It isnt a one way street at year 8. If it isnt for her she could swap back.
It sounds a bit like you are "better the devil you know" about it. Dd sounds great. No school chucks bursaries around without real talent being identified.

I knew several children who got sports scholarships. This actually restricted their choice of sports, as they were expected to prioritise the school teams over other activities (although county level and above they did instead of school stuff). I'd definitely find out what expectations would be attached to the bursary.

Tough decision. I do sympathise. On balance though, I think if you’ve gone to all the trouble of getting her the bursary etc it’d be worth her giving it a go and finding out what the new school has to offer her. Worst case she can do as others have suggested and reapply to current school later. Lots of real advantages to single sex (as well as the disadvantages others have pointed out). Good luck and let us know what you decide.

If she wants to go, I would absolutely allow her to do so.

By this age, she will still keep in touch with her current friends who are presumably very local. It's not like it was when we were at school - they all have phones and social media and keep in touch constantly.

It sounds like an amazing opportunity. My DD also has a massive bursary/scholarship and it's been amazing for her.

I think anyone applying to independent would be foolish not to compare results from the local state. If your paying a lot of money then you will look at the local state and see the difference against the independent. I would be expecting the independent to do far better due to there selection process and if they didn’t I wouldn’t waste my money. I have looked at every years results as part of my research and looked at university destinations. It’s about doing your homework.... my point here on this thread is if OP DD loves sport and wants to move to the independent school because of that it is of course no surprise that the OP would also look at the results.

My daughter is year 8 and at private school having been state educated at primary. Just be aware that if she goes private she may be mixing with a very different group of friends. The kids at my daughter’s school are all very monied and it is hard for her to keep up socially because we can’t afford to always change her wardrobe to reflect latest fashions, she doesn’t have a huge allowance, we can’t pay for taxis if she stays out after dark so she has to come home earlier etc. Even the fact that the socialise in cafes after school each day is costing too much. Plus her friends are very out of touch and have no understanding of their privilege.

Having said that she loves her school and is being stretched academically.

Just to say that you can’t compare overall results of a comprehensive school and any school which is selective, whatever the selection criteria are- you have to compare by cohort. So, how do the comprehensive’s high attainers do compared to the selective school? The comprehensive will have kids from the whole bell curve- the selective will only have middle to right.

It would be the independent for me. My DS is super sporty but had limited sport at his primary and the local state do have sport but it’s not viewed as important. Academically his current. School is better too with 73% achieving (7,8,9) and 22% 9s The school my son attends has had boys playing for professionals rugby clubs, football, cricket, athletics . 4 of his friends were in the U21 england rugby team . The difference with state and some private schools (not all) is if your DC is good at sport they will ensure they get the best training and opportunities. My DS went to his school knowing no one else. Took a few weeks to settle in and is now really happy, he has taken up golf which I am a little surprised about, plays football and rugby three times a week. He is thriving. Your DD sounds bright and if she has been offered and opportunity and she wants to move then let her ..

I was wondering about Millfield too.

I say go for it. If she is unhappy once she gets there, presumably she can always go back to her current school.

It sounds like it may be somewhere like Millfield where the children are not particularly academic. I would choose this new school if I were you although I am not a fan of boarding schools (although I know she would not be boarding) as the enivronment is different from the day academic private schools we chose. We are certainly happy to have paid school fees.

How are you getting on? Have you decided?

It isn't selective .. except by ability to pay (which excludes a huge proportion of the student population, including many of those DC that are statistically likely to be less academically able).

I'd also be interested to know if "not selective" means "we're not selective but if you don't keep up we will suggest another school might be more appropriate for you".

If it isn't selective and there's still that much of a difference between it and the comp, I'd be biting their hands off!
They clearly want your daughter, given that she's been offered a scholarship, and while I agree that she may not always choose to be as sporty, a sports scholarship can be a means to an end - it gives your daughter opportunities she wouldn't otherwise have, and opens doors (such as allowing her into a much better school in the first place).