To go alongside the thread about all girls schools: are there any advantages to educating your son in a single sex school?

I'm facing this choice for DS soon. DM tells me boys schools are all dreadful violent places, and DBros experience backs that up. But it wasn't a great school anyway, so I couldn't base any decisions on that. How have your DS non-selective state secocondarys been?

My 3 sons have all been at all boy schools from age 3 - 18 (last 2 left last year). One of the boys had a few girls lower down the school but they did not make a material impact on his years.

I was going to say the same as Seeline about boys singing - my 3 all won music scholarships at 13+ and sang a lot in their prep school too which as soon you bring girls in singing can become a girly thing only girls do.

Also they can meet girls out of school and they have 2 sisters anyway so it is not as if they are never going to see a girl - they were all at day schools. I and my siblings were also educated at single sex schools so it is what I know too.

They also had a lot of very nice male teachers who could be role models and mixed schools tend to have fewer male teachers so that was a plus point.
Also some boys at their school are from families who do not like early dating/relationships and want them to concentrate on academic work at that age (a very good thing) and I liked that ethos.

Surely the most important thing si that they are at the right school for them? The school that will bring out their strengths, iron out their weaknesses and help them develop confidence without arrogance? In both DSs case that happened to be a single sex school. But the fact it was boys only didn't play any part in our decisions. If anything, it's the only thing that slightly puts me off. But one of them hangs out with loads of girls from the three nearby girls schools. He went to three different proms and endless parties at the end of term. And the other has a huge crowd of friends from all sorts of different schools, single sex, mixed, private, state, grammar, and they hang out together because they have shared interests. Academically, they did well where they were.

Both mine are at single sex schools, and both doing well. It is interesting to see the different approaches and methods employed by each school. You can tell that the different approaches to work better for each sex.

As others have said, I think the best advantage for both sexes is that everything is acceptable and available. At DSs school music and art are very strong. Many, many boys sing - a lot- which is not something you would usually see in a co-ed environment. Similarly in the girls school, maths and sciences are just part of the curriculum. They don't have to compete with boys to answer in class etc, and many continue with these subjects to A level, because they are just part of the range of subjects available.

There is plenty of time for socialising out of school.

I wasnt keen on single sex for my DS - and we had an 'outstanding' co-ed round the corner....however he really struggled there so we moved him at y8 ...he loves his all boys school.... he is not very good at sports and the school is sports mad, and it still works......It is a bit more old fashioned for want of a better word than the mixed school
and that seems to be good for him he's ok with strict, they play more - so even yr9 they are running around at lunchtime......

the school seem to understand them and works hard at keeping them busy/providing opportunities for quiet....

I think the girl thing may kick in later but they do seem to split in the main as being friends from about yr5 anyway - all my friends have girls so he still has lots of firends and we may well go mixed at 6th form ....
I went all girls and hated it - but I think its the school fitting your child rather than the single sex/mixed

no expectations of “boys” and “girls” subjects.

Boys in a single Sex school can explore what interests them without any gender expectations.

My son was teased at summer camp for choosing art and drama options as these are “girls” subjects. He has no idea what made them “girls” subjects and what was wrong with doing them.

My son went to boys school from year 7. First year was all about discipline. Teachers picked at everything at first parents evening. The rest of parents evenings were ok. The school is very competitive which was suited to my son because he is very competitive too and he got good competition.
Their school pared with girls school which is near by. They have contacts with girls outside school. To make contacts easier they have disco with both schools at year 7.

I think girls and boys do separate out in y7. My DD1 went to a mixed primary but really ditched boys in terms of friendships in y5/6. She worked with them in class, laughted at their jokes and talked to them but they didn’t feature as friends. Few girls had lasting friendships with primary boy friends. Their interests diverged. They moved on.

I have met many young men from several wonderful boys boarding and day schools. Friends of DD. I have been particularly impressed by their confidence, their maturity, their good manners and their ability to converse about all sorts of things. They are truly well educated. They are at ease in society.

They have all been quite focussed about their careers. They were all very pleasant but I would trust my DD to choose such people for friends because she is discerning.

As on the girls thread, I have no doubt there are unpleasant boys at all types of schools! It’s inevitable. I agree it’s important to choose an ethos you like and your DS would appreciate. However there are many things boys schools do very well and these should not be underestimated. You should though think about how girls will feature in the life of the boys but if you have a DD, your DS will meet her friends and perhaps mix with girls in clubs. School is only part of life - it’s not your whole life.

We have discounted the all boys option for DS in favour of mixed.
This is entirely based on the culture at the boy’s school. Very heavy discipline from day 1, treat them as if they need to be disciplined until they prove otherwise. Compulsory rugby at 7.30 three times a week including Saturday. A PE teacher said that they aim to break them in year 7 and then make them again. State non selective boys school. Locally, parents either love it or hate it. Boys mainly hate it in year 7.

Also one of the reasons people give for wanting their DCs not to go to single sex schools is that in primary they have good friends of the opposite sex. How does this translate at secondary?
Would be good to hear others experiences.

I’m not particularly in favour of one or the other, just that there are a lot of single sex schools in our area, for some reason.

I’d like to hear views on this. An all-boys is one of our options. I often hear things like ‘too much testosterone’ and ‘girls are a good influence on boys’ and ‘If they aren’t a laddy type they are better in mixed’ but is this just an assumption? I haven’t actually heard any actual evidence to back it up.

I have found it quite ironic, in view of having always heard that said too, that my daughter has been in coed schooling since upper primary, and her brother single-sex all through. For senior school we did look at a range of options for our daughter, but co-ed seemed the right fit for her (admittedly, co-ed boarding may give you the "best of both worlds" to an extent as they have the single-sex environment in house).

My youngest has just started boarding, I think his school could have in principle been a great place for his sister but the co-ed equivalent doesn't exist. (I am a little jealous as I wish I could have gone there myself ...) So I think it is the specific schools he has been at that I like, rather than the single-sex aspect per se. And both of those schools have realistic reasons for not expanding to co-ed.

I have heard it said many times that parents have been happier in an all boys' primary school (and I presume the same logic applies to secondary) because their sons' work was displayed on the walls, whereas in a mixed school the work tended to be the neater pieces produced by girls.
At my DD's mixed primary, that definitely didn't seem to be the case, and I thought the teachers took great care to ensure that all children had a piece of work on display at any given time.

Less distraction 😉