Have we got a starting Secondary School Support thread?

That's so sad Frayed It does worry me that school think others telling each other to kill themselves isn't that big an issue. I think DD started this drama but I would expect serious consequences the other way round and agree with it. Another thread on here recently where child excluded for 3 days for using phrase so some schools must take tough line. The girl in her class has avoided school last 2 days.

That's bad about the school marking minor illness as unauthorised, I would be complaining about that. DS had similar attendance to start with and we didn't get letter, they are at Head's discretion in primary not automatic. I assumed they were automatic but Head told me not. Having said that secondaries are bigger so maybe automatic. I wondered if he needed say a week off to rest. Other thing is did antibiotics help? I spent a year last year feeling terrible getting nowhere with doctors in uk, lots of cancer tests and one op, noticed only time I got better was on 14 days double antibiotics and then remember I had a bite on holiday which matched Lyme. UK doctor still wouldn't help but US one said in US would treat for Lyme with these antibiotics, took them for a month and been much better since. DH had similar with ears, months ill in UK then French doctor gave him antibiotics and better in a week or two.

Glad DS is more settled penguins. Doesn't sound good with DD. DS2's school was in the news for reasons the lady at your school thinks won't happen . Glad DD feels able to ignore them, and she knows she's got you in her corner when she needs you.

I understand about appointment wait times and I'd not complain or anything, which is why I'm looking at private. Although anything very serious has been ruled out, he really isn't right and I'm at a loss with it tbh. He's so down and listless at the weekends. DH wanted to take him out for dinner, just the two of them, but DS2 was crying as he felt too rough to go out.

School have sent a general email about illness and attendance and as it stands I have no medical evidence to give them. His attendance is currently 89% and really he shouldn't have gone it today. Email says minor illness will be marked as unauthorised, and as it stands, that's what he's been off with. And I do see their POV, but what can I do?

Poor DD, Penguins it sounds like it is going to take the school a while to get to know her.

Dobbins, I think January is about normal for a paed appointment. The NHS waiting time limit is 18 weeks, so it's not too bad. I know it's frustrating, though.

17 Jan is very slow but sadly state NHS is in, at least was similar when I needed lots of tests last year, only time was better was when you got choice of local private hospital on NHS. I ended up going private via work but you shouldn't have to.

The primary school is getting like Jeremy Kyle online with newspaper article about problems and parents criticising things or denying any issues underneath

DS now says schools OK which is as good as he says schools get. Not happy with what's happening with DD though. Phoned school they said your son is very bright quite exceptional and implied daughter isn't. She outperforms him on almost every test and came top of year in 3 subjects at her grammar last year where 34% of results are 9s. I wonder if its as she speaks with an accent (current one sounds like she's a farmer!) which changes with school and speaks slang a lot in this one and primary but not grammar but who knows. They said they always put new kids in random sets where there is space and ignore previous reports, great. Said DD has forgotten a few homeworks and will soon get a reputation as a bad child but she's not.

DD also said a child had told her to kill herself quickly on way to school and another kid said it previous night, reported it and school said they would do nothing. Lady said to me they don't deal with things out of school hours and kids use that phrase very lightly. DD has got it in writing from first girl though she was really stupid herself and DD got her friend to text this girl first saying she thought DD should kill herself so girl was basically agreeing with DDs friend. DD said the first girl put a survey on the internet asking if she could kill herself and got 83% no, 17% yes. School said they wanted to put all girls together and make them work out differences and DD said to me no, so have said no. DD wants to ignore them which seems more sensible. Told DD not to ask for drama but think all those girls are addicted to it.

It's a choose and book system so there's 4 hospitals and the 17th Jan was the earliest appointment available. I rang to double check and they said they only had the same ones showing available. I'm going to keep checking. Think I'm going to look at paying privately.

Hope the cat's getting better. :(

17th Jan is ridiculous for paed appointment. When ds was ill my GP was unimpressed with 10 days. Can you ask your GP if there's any chance of a cancellation?

Penguins sounds very dramatic!

Got the thing through to book DS2's paediatrician appt. First date available is 17th Jan. I was hoping for sooner but there's not much I can do.

Hope your cat improves Frayed

Just been messaged by one former Head of primary (there's 4 Heads that left!) as the primary school is now in the papers. At least we know what happened now. Looks like ousted Chair went to press.

That does sound like a bizarre approach from the school Penguins. I hope they get back to you soon. LOL at you negotiating her way into Cambridge for her, I like her style.

Mine is alas miserable in her senility. She's going to start on some supplements but I'm not convinced tbh. She's also taken to using the upstairs bathroom floor as her litter tray. Not great. I'm hoping you don't need help with that .

Do the tips for senile cats work for senile adults Frayed. Can feel myself going senile at a similar rate to the cat. I'm not going on dried food though.

Hope your DD is better now Lougle and your cat gets less senile Frayed, mine seems very happy being senile. She's just got me to move food to by the bed.

Cat is very sleepy, cuddly and eating all meat in sight as usual, just spent the day lying on bed with me whilst I worked an has eaten more of my lunch than me. Awaiting results from vets, how did your cat get on Frayed? Hoping ours will stagger on as she's so happy and think if she was in pain she wouldn't be purring 24/7.

Not sure what is happening with DDs sets - the three she's in middle set for as top are full are science and French and PE. PE I don't care about but science and French are really silly - she has a French Dad and came top of year in French at her grammar and science she was also above average at the grammar and the average grade there is an 8. Science have said they think they will move her after Christmas so that's not too bad, the Head of Languages is saying she is refusing to move her to top set as has 36 in already or Spanish for all of this year. PE say they may move her shortly. But also worried as they sent a report for her and had graded her low on a number of subjects she should be much higher and am trying to find out why, they are refusing to count her SATS or her year at grammar so are just assessing on work so far. It could be they have just shoved everyone in the average category but don't want her put in any more middle sets as they can't be bothered to type in last year's results. English is graded one and a half years below what old school graded her, for example, so something is wrong somewhere and primary results were in line with grammar ones. Her SATS were 120/120/114. Teacher was supposed to call me yesterday but went off sick with bad back so don't know when it will be, not majorly urgent but DD is also quite lazy. She's told me she wants to go to Cambridge Uni but doesn't want to work hard and says she wants to get any grades then says I can phone and argue it for her as I'm good at arguing and winning. I think that's beyond me though!

Poor DD Lougle I hope she's feeling better now. Sounds like something one of mine would manage to do!

DS2 managed a whole day at school. In fact all the DC were in their settings which is the first time in weeks.
Vets trip went as expected. Cat going senile. Stuff to try but will just have to see if she responds.

Oh poor cat, penguins. I hope she feels better. Frustrating about the third sets, I imagine. Will there be any changes?

I'm glad your DS is improving, Dobbins. DD1 was sent home from school with a bashed head yesterday, after falling off a bench backwards and hitting her forehead (some sort of dynamic twisting involved there!!!), so she had a duvet day today, as she was still a bit under the weather. Back to school tomorrow!

Hope the vet can work their magic on your cat and your DS gets better.

I'm glad you got a cancellation Lougle, it's been a long time coming. I hope the appointments go well.

Poor DS, hope he is o.k. I also hope you get DD's sets sorted out penguins. Sorry your cat hasn't been well, at least she is comfortable for now. I'm taking my 16 year old cat to the vet tomorrow as she is not herself and suspect she may be on the final countdown too.

DS2 has been off sick, totally wiped out with a cold. Cried himself senseless on Friday and pretty much laid on the sofa until yesterday. He's been perkier today so hopefully he'll be o.k. for tomorrow.

Well done on getting assessment dates Lougle

Hope your DS is improving Frayed

DD said DS ran off after a fire drill again today but he's denying everything. DD seems to be having few issues again which am trying to sort out - seem to have her in middle sets for three subjects despite her being at a superselective grammar last year as top sets are full and she is really coasting and getting silly with that which was fine for a few weeks but no end in sight currently. Cat got very ill at the weekend collapsed and vet found heart and kidney problems, she's 14 and think days maybe numbered but spent much of day cuddling with me and purring. Got 2 work contracts on at same time and still trying to sort old house each weekend and DD is nagging for a white mountain dog, exactly what we need Though she is promising the earth to get one - helping every weekend on the house to raise money to buy dog and that she'll go to Cambridge University. She then said I just want to get any grades then you phone up and argue to get me in as you are amazing at that

DD2 finally has her ASD assessment dates! I wasn't able to make one of the dates because I'm already committed elsewhere, so the lady said she'd go back on the waiting list, but when I stopped breathing politely asked that they make a note that we'd be willing to take any cancellations, because she's been waiting so long and I just can't be in 2 places at once and am already committed with a competition for DD2 on that date, the lady put me on hold and asked if I could make this Sunday, as they have a cancellation. So, of course, I jumped at it! We then have the interview on 1st December.

Glad he coat the coat back Spider

My DS also is a coat refuser too Witchend At first school messaged me a couple of times hence purchase of second coat but now school have realised with no coat DS doesn't run off outside so he's easier to find so they are leaving him without coat.

DS was very disgruntled today. There was a cake sale at school today and they moved it so he couldn't find it. He's just made some cookies to get over the trauma.

Thanks all, I still suspect DS2 has, or has had, Glandular Fever as he still has the inflamed throat and enlarged glands. Hopefully this is a post-viral thing rather than CFS. He's absolutely shattered tonight probably not helped by not eating lunch. He'd bought it at break but then forgot he'd bought it. He's always been a bit scatty but I feel he's achieved a new level of scattiness.

I have rung and spoke to the school and they have agreed to make arrangements for him to go elsewhere instead of PE where he has to act as assistant. Also means he won't have to take his kit in which will be a big help on PE days.

That must have been a tough year witchend but glad DS fully recovered in the end. Hope he had a good day in his comfy shorts!

Glad he got his coat back spiderlight.

Hurrah - the coat is back!

Dobbins ds had something similar-nothing on bloods but really tired in year 4. They never got to the point in diagnosing CFS as he was definitely improving once they'd eliminated all the nasty possibilities. He was worst in January, saw paed in February half term, and was clearly improving around Easter. It was probably a full year before he was truly better.

Spider at least your ds wears a coat. Mine looked at me as though I was joking when I suggested one might be a good idea. Being non-uniform day today he's gone in in shorts. The shorts he's chosen are almost identical to his games shorts, so I suggested he might like to wear something different before anyone comments. He said "who cares? they're comfortable."

Glad his blood tests were a bit better. It must be such a worry for you. Really hope it's not CFS.

Hope your DS gets better soon Frayed

Hope you find coat Spider DS has a bright red coat so if he loses it we can find it more easily and if he runs off at school they can spot him. I did only get a cheap one though with track record of losing everything.

DS is currently refusing to eat anything at school unless he can get it for below cost price. So comes home starving everyday saying can I go to Co-op. Had meeting with school today and he's improving apparently but still has his moments and quirks like will only do history lessons standing up presumably for a quick getaway. 😂

Oh no spiderlight I hope he finds it.

Back from GP with DS2. Blood tests were better than last time. But his throat is still inflamed and glands still enlarged. GP will refer to paediatrician as been over 2 months now. She did mention Chronic fatigue syndrome.