Have we got a starting Secondary School Support thread?

Thanks for all the kind messages. DS went to all his lessons OK so that's good and the SENCO has asked to meet soon so its getting sorted. Asked him if he had homework and just got a confused look and said he's not sure. Apparently school have not set him up on the homework system or DD as we got places late (they also seem to have not set us up on their payments system properly so can't buy lockers etc). School are sorting the password for DS but wondering what else we are missing.

Hope your DD had a better day Permanent, its so sad watching them distressed.

It's such a big change, at least mine can walk to school but its still new area, new (well old thatched cottage!) house, new school. Hope all the other children are getting on fine. DD seems to have meet up with new friends pre school and after school as well as messages from friends at her old school, not sure when any homework fits in

My dc have a planner for noting down homework and for messages between home and school. There is also an online thing that bigger homework projects are put on and revision. I think they've updated it this year.

Hope your ds is ok, penguins

Dd2 is falling apart.

She can’t cope with all the change, all the new people, new systems, new routines.

She had a music lesson yesterday, which should have been an oasis of happy amidst all the stress, and it wasn’t. It didn’t go well, and she now wants to give up (she’s a music scholar!) Partly this is her usual panic response to not being as perfect as she thinks she should be (a series of errors meant she had no instrument for her lesson, borrowed the teachers but it didn’t feel right, so she made more mistakes than she thinks she should have, etc).

She was up half the night (and me with her) in floods of tears.

This morning she asked, for the first time ever, to not go in.

I think her form teacher (who is being as supportive as possible) is a little taken aback by the extent of the issue.

Am just off to collect her, so fingers crossed today has been a little better

Ds has a planner. It's used for homework and for parent/teacher notes. So I've written in his sister's before now things like "Dd has removed as much makeup as possible but still looked a little blue after the facepaint she had for a performance at the weekend" which she then shows to any teacher that stops her.

There's also paracetamol permission to be signed in it and other things of use.

Well done to your DS for going in penguins I hope the school are up to speed with him shortly.

DD plodded off this morning complaining about the weight of her bag. It is heavy tbh. I dread the days with sports kit as well.

Hope DS is ok penguins. It's great he's managed to go in.

Oh penguines what a worry. Really hope he's ok

Thanks, hoping he makes it through the day. Hope you get the swimming kit back, DS is terrible at bringing his back.

Hope your DS is ok Penguins . I think the new routine must be especially hard.

DS has gone to school but woke up saying he wasn't going. Phoned and emailed SENCO to warn them, they seem to have missed he is special needs.

The swimming kit has not come home yet. The book is open on how long she will leave it to fester in her locker.

Thanks Lougle . DS1 has a planner with lots of useful info in and a diary for writing homework in. But there’s homework on the portal too which is a good back up.

Welcome, cheminotte. Giles DD2 has a spiral bound planner with a space for her timetable at the back. All her homework is set online, although a lot of it will still be paper based, apparently. She'll still need to acknowledge that she's completed paper based homework online, so they can track that she's done it. So if they've set spelling homework, she will still need to tick a box to say she's done it in her online homework system to have officially 'done' her homework, even if she's done her spellings practice as she's been asked to. So I'm guessing her planner is more for jotting down specific instructions, notes, etc. I know another Mum at the school who has older children there and she said it's helpful to be able to write something like "X is not feeling well today and has had paracetamol. If x comes to first aid today, please phone me immediately.", to avoid them being sent away when they are feeling unwell.

Can I join? DS started last week and so far it’s going surprisingly well. He has ASD and there was a lot of support put in place but he’s been rejecting lots of it and being really independent. He casually mentioned today that he’d been to homework club at lunchtime one day last week!
Luckily it’s just a walk to school. He could have got a place with an autism base but I wanted to try the local option first.

DS2's planner is more like a filofax. DS1 has a planner at his school but I've never seen it! All DS1's homework is online not that he does it but I don't think DS2's school has any online facility so he will need to write his down in his planner.

So she's not just been forgetful?

Brilliant.thanks

Gileswithachainsaw they all do it differently. At DS1s school they have an app that the teachers list the homework on. The kids have a version where they record when they have completed it and the parents a version where they can see what needs to be done and for when and if anything is overdue. Seems to be working so far amd saves me relying on DS writing things down.

Glad that's sorted Spider

DD now home, she's fine just tired. She was a bit shocked about her brother. I explained school had said he could have a y8 buddy who accompanies him everywhere and she said I think that should be me, she's in y8. Hope he's going in tomorrow. I have told him he's going in to pre warn him, he seems OK now but won't communicate about school.

So do schools hand out some kind of home school diary planner or do parents have to buy them?

I'm not sure whether it's worse for the children or the parents when they move up a stage! Certainly at our school there are lots of parents who are feeling like they are trying to keep up with all the different expectations and systems that are put in place. DD2 is happy for now, although I'm expecting more wobbles once homework starts.

We've had a horrible bullying situation rumbling on since Easter, Frayed, so sadly my DS's group are well-practised in avoidance strategies :( Hoping the new school will be a bit more proactive in sorting it out than the primary was!

Glad the mystery of DS and his friend is solved spiderlight. They sound sensible in avoiding the one that hit one of them, not that should be having to consider that sort of thing in the first place though.

Oh dear, sorry the school went hard-ball Penguins. I hope you're able to work out a plan with DS for returning tomorrow and the school are helpful.

DS2 left the bag with his trainers and football boots in school. FFS. It was attached to his main bag, but ripped and became unattached and in his haste to get the bus forgot about it. I stayed calm and found out how he goes about hopefully getting them back. He has PE again tomorrow, but I don't have time to go and get more. We didn't buy fancy ones but they weren't pennies either. He could take his other trainers in but they were a birthday present and rather £££ so I'm not really keen on that idea.

He hated PE as predicted as they were made to run around the field twice. This really is not his thing!

Phew - I'd totally misinterpreted the other mum's text this morning. I thought she was saying that my DS had gone another way and left hers waiting, but it turns out that they'd all met up as normal and decided to go the other way (which involved coming back past our house) to avoid a kid who'd hit one of them on Friday, and she was just trying to ask me if I could catch them going past to remind her DS about something, but she explained it all a bit strangely. It's been one of those days!

Penguins I hope your DS goes in OK tomorrow. It must be so overwhelming for him and he'll be exhausted from all the upset today.

DH went to school to chat with them and then came back and tried to get DS in again. So he locked himself in room. Told DH to leave it, it won't even count as attendance at 2pm, so he's gone off and DS is now out of room but not talking. His sister is really good with him though I'm 95% certain its art homework which has triggered this. His old school did let him leave the classroom when he needed to though. He had a full time TA in y4 so he's come a long way, just hope he doesn't go back, needs to be handled delicately.