Have we got a starting Secondary School Support thread?

Oh good grief - that's not good at all! Why on earth have the school not communicated any of this to you?

Penguinspandas, this all sounds really dreadful for DS and you, and not great for DD. It doesn't sound as if they've thought out things at all, demanding he comes in the other day, sending him home already, detention! (What was the detention for?) Can you meet SENCO and/or other staff to discuss strategies? Hope things improve next week.

DD came home, said she talked to other year 7s and they said her brother is always in tears got a detention and sent out yesterday - I haven't been told any of this. I think they have completely forgotten he is SEN.

Bit annoying that you can't get to the bottom of it all penguin.

Another good day here, luckily. She's glad it's the weekend though!

Hope the strategies are in place quickly and all the relevant staff are aware of them Penguins.

DS2 is complaining about a sore back again. His bag is pretty light as he's not got any books, but he does have weird shoulders (think maybe hyper mobile) so maybe just carrying a bag around all day is causing it. They don't have lockers at the school so there isn't a solution to that.

Senco replied to say sorry they did this, he doesn't know why but has passed it on to someone who hopefully will know. He's also getting a strategy put in place. He's giggling away here.

That's what my DS is like too Witchend he has form for deciding things are a good idea based on favourable consequences. At primary he asked me how many things would a person need to do to get thrown out of school and how many have I done?

No response from school yet. I tried to make home unappealling by playing a French alphabet song for babies but he said the French teacher played the exact same one. Now he's giggling away. Argh! I on antibiotics so not really feeling up to making it a boring environment and even when you do he often still prefers home. Trying to chase a locker at least.

DD said they have her in mid set French as they forgot she was coming and there's no space in top set, she came top of her London grammar in French last year with 96% in end of year test and DH is French. So hope they move that. Work have said I can go back to work though which is good.

Oh penguins . I am sending and a few prayers.

DS2's PE Dept have sent out an email setting out what is expected for kit etc. If they find lost kit they wash and return to the mentor room, but it has to be labelled to be able to do that. I think that's actually quite nice, there's no way my secondary would have washed kit! I think they are giving a fair amount of leeway atm, but I do know some of his primary classmates have had a group detention at break and a couple of sendings out in other lessons.

That does seem strangely managed by the school penguins especially as they wanted you to send him in on Monday when he was so upset. I hope the SENCo is responsive. DS1 used to growl, it was at himself IYKWIM but it used to scare the TAs in primary.

DS2 seems to be fairly happy atm. He has said the behaviour on the bus is awful though. Fortunately it's just a short journey.

That sounds strange. Normally they'll do anything to keep him in.

If he's anything like my ds he'd promptly decided that was a good idea so he could come home.

DH said they said he was in a funny mood in following English lesson too and seemed to be still upset about French so they sent him home. He seems extremely happy at home though which is not a good sign. Argh! I have sent an e-mail to senco, don't mind him home today but don't want this as a regular thing plus would like to know exactly what happened. Sometimes he will growl, would imagine something like that.

PS. I can sympathise with him about how infuriating it must have been doing the right thing, then the boy telling him it was wrong, so redoing it and the teacher telling him it was all wrong!

I've just looked back over the thread and seen your DS is ASD. Mine is as well and I'd be very concerned that they were able to manage his needs if they just sent him home like that unless something extreme had happened - in which case I would expect an immediate explanation!

So after the teacher told him everything was wrong did he get hysterical or something? I wonder how long they tried to calm him down before calling if so

That sounds odd Penguins. No way would they send him home for that. Although the fact they haven't called you to explain what has happened or even why they didn't go out and speak to your DH about it properly is concerning. I'd call them now if I were you and find out what they are playing at!

Well he's arrived back really cheerful, helped himself to a cookie then said Mummy I will get you a cookie then was telling me how good his English lesson was.

Asked him why they sent him home and he said he got annoyed in French. Some boy kept telling him he was doing everything wrong. So DS did what the boy told him to do. Then the teacher came and told DS everything was wrong and DS said what he had done at start was right.

Thanks, DH has picked him up but says no-one could say what happened.

Hope your ds feels better soon Penguins

Thanks very much. I just hope he hasn't done anything too stupid though it sounded like an unofficial thing so probably something like he went into hiding knowing him. I want them to have an alternative to sending him home though, atm, I am off work sick so doesn't bother me but once/if I go back this will be an issue. Trying to track the PE kit, his phone stays home. I am trying to get a locker for him too.

Hope your son is ok Penguin, I use a free tracking app off android.
It's called Life 360 and you can track family members on their phone.
This came in very useful when my son left his phone at sports camp and I ended up tracking the person who had picked up his phone.

DH just called to say he had call from school to say DS isn't in a good way and they want DH to collect him and bring him home. Doesn't sound good. I wish DH had said about PE kit yesterday but having said that nothing I can do about it. Not very happy about him being sent home but hard to know what to do.

Titsywoo, I don't completely agree. DS1 is quite organised actually, but talking of fairness, it is a huge leap from primary to secondary school for him/us. Primary school uniform was a logo sweatshirt, generic white top and black trousers, with black shorts as an option in summer, with girls having an option of gingham dress, with only one or two days a year when it's strictly enforced - trips until recently (now they have bought a set of hi-vis tabards) and photographs mainly. No detentions. At one point we had 72%+ on free school meals, and this has gone down due to eligibility changes not a change in financial circumstances.

Most if not all of us on this thread have probably done our best to make sure our DCs are ready for secondary school with everything they need. Most of us probably have more financial resources to do than the majority of families at my DCs' primary school and a significant number at DS1's secondary. In fact, my dad kindly stepped in to buy uniform and a scientific calculator for DS1, and my sister also bought some of his new stationery. But I am conscious that this probably comes to between £300 and £400 (£200 at the uniform shop, 2 pairs of shoes, scientific calculator, assorted stationery) . That is a lot of money round here, and I suggest it's not something the kids are meant to sort out on their own anywhere.

I am really concerned that some kids will face detention because their families can't afford to or won't prioritise spending so much money on stuff for school. That won't be my DS but it's also down to us as his parents to make sure his clothes are washed and clean and ready when he needs them and I find the potential for him to be punished if dp and I make a mistake a bit worrying.

I'm assuming the peanuts thing was at lunch or outside/break time asbshe said have had to pull one out her lunch.

The sleeper was during a maths test. Apparently the kid filled out the front and back page so it looked like he's done it and then slept.

I reminded her she should he focussing on her work whether they are sleeping or dancing on tables

She thankfully is not phased

Depends on the school and/or the class Giles. When DD started 2 years ago she found the form room in the morning overwhelming as she said all the kids were always loud and mucking around (she said they were like wild animals). DS seems to have a quieter class and hasn't mentioned anyone misbehaving (and he is the first to point out when someone breaks the rules).

Dd seems ok this morning however I've been told a kid was asleep in class, there's chewing gum everywhere under all the desks and some boys were throwing peanuts about...

Is this the same everywhere..