Have we got a starting Secondary School Support thread?

DS1 has Aspergers and only got EHCP at end of Y5. Primary school were very good at accommodating him but from about Y3 onwards were saying ‘you need to get a diagnosis so you can get an EHCP for social needs’. He’s now at a mainstream with a general base. The senco has been great so far in tweaking the support he needs as they get to know him better. There are a couple of secondaries with autism bases in the county but both would involve getting transport and him being able to walk to school was very important to me.
If you get an EHCP and decide another school is the right one you name it on the form and then they have to provide transport.
But it is only for a standard school day so no good if needs to go home early or stay late for a club for example.

Thanks both. We also have logistics issues as I don't drive and we are now rural, this is the only school within walking distance and next one is 6 miles away. DH could potentially drive DS there and back but back isn't that easy due to time. Plus if we are being called out its difficult. Trouble is old house none of secondaries are that close by and that's 50 mins from DH's work. Primary was really close.

Thanks penguins. It really does sound like an assessment would help. We went private and it cost about £1200 but was worth it even though the school and Ed psych didn't think he needed an EHCP. Chances are if the school are suggesting it he will get one (even if you have to appeal once as most do).

I do know what you mean, I am not sure DS3's school will actually do anything once I get the private Ed Psych assessment done and I have no alternative school for him, due to logistics. But I'm thinking it will either help with requesting an EHC needs assessment, or if I end up home Ed, hopefully give me some insight of how to approach some of his difficulties.

Thanks very much. We could go private for an assessment though would want to be sure if would help first, finding school response not great and wonder if we would be better looking at alternatives or keep going. Can't afford private school though MIL has made offers in past of funding it but not sure if that's just talk. He is bright sats 118, 115, 108 so state specialist seem to be out. Mainstream with ASD base might work but not sure if there are any here. We also still have our old house so moving back is possible though that would unsettle everything but I think one school there has an ASD base. Just phoned council's inclusion manager so will see what they say, that's how he got TA at primary though caused few ruffled feathers as I reported unofficial exclusions.

SkiGirl sorry to hear your DD isn't happy at school. Have you spoken to the school about it?

Yes, if Amazon could just start delivering school meals that would solve DS2's gripe of the day. Long wait and then no hot food left. I've said he can take a packed lunch in but he'd rather complain to me take a chance on the school dinners.

Oh this buggering stupid new phone won't do the hyphens for strike out.

Penguins we're being referred to Early Help as an alternative to CAMHS - - who refused to see dd--

Here the usual scenario is school will buy a certain amount of Ed Psych time to come in and assess pupils, so it may be that as your DS is new they can't get him seen by the Ed Psych. I think they should be able to access phone/email Ed Psych support. Our EP service has a parent telephone helpline. It's only available one afternoon a week, but it's possible your area does something similar.

Is getting a private assessment a possibility? I wouldn't usually suggest it but I'm at the point of doing the same for my DS3, as he'll be retirement age before he's a school priority.

FrayedHem I'm glad that some problems can be solved simply by placing an Amazon order

School are also saying we need an Early Help Assessment form to get any help, doesn't sound right to me, last school just got Ed Psych in. I signed permission. Get the impression they are implying problem is at home. Or it could be where resources are. But he needs help at school not at home.

Sorry to hear that Spider hope it gets sorted soon.

Thanks for telling me what your DS has Frayed My DS would benefit from something like that.

Have a lovely day in London Titsy

DD is being much better. DS got to school. Then apparently stood outside for an hour so they called for me to collect him. Then they called back to say he had gone into lessons and no need to come. Now I have an e-mail from senco asking if we can apply as parents for an EHCP and can we meet next week.

Ive been reading the thread as DD started year7 this year and I just feel SO low about her experience of it all. I feel like they have taken my happy keen to learn child and slowly crushing her into unhappy doesn’t want to go to school child I feel your pain spider I cried couple nights ago at the helpless I feel as a mum to protect her from a very much “sink or swim” attitude I’m feeling from her school I’m more scared than ever now about where we send her younger sister as there are next to no other options without moving house. My younger daughter has a lot of classic ASD traits but being intelligent is masking massively at school we get the fall out at home. (My nephew has full support plan for ASD so have some background experience of the issues) i have 3yrs to get a plan in place but I’m not in a positive place about secondary at the moment.

I massively feel for those of you struggling with children who don’t fit the NT profile it feels like the conveyor belt education we have just doesn’t allow them to thrive yet the teachers I know do their best with the ever decreasing resources they had.

Hope you're ok spiderlight. It's a tough year for everyone I think!

Still plodding along ok here. Getting the homework done on time and doing ok in general. We've got parents evening in Dec so I'll be interested to hear how the teachers think he is getting on. They do have their first set of exams after half term which may be a struggle for him with the memory problems. I'm going to help him with revision this time to see if I can help. Maybe something visual will work for him.

Inset day tomorrow and I have taken the day off work so we're all heading into London for a nice lunch and wander - yay! So nice the DC are back at the same school again so the inset days are all the same :)

Hope it's easily sorted. I pretty much exclusive rattle on about nothing of significance.

Which reminds me - thanks Lougle for the expanding file suggestion. DS2's work now comes home neatly rather than a crumpled up scrap of paper.

Just lots of little things. Nowhere near what some of you guys are dealing with, but it's all got on top of me today. Nothing that won't get sorted though - ignore me!

Oh no spiderlight. What's happened? But don't feel you have to answer.

I've had enough. I want him to go back to Reception at our lovely primary and start again :(

DS1 benefits way more from his work being broken down and a bit of planning beforehand, rather than having a TA supporting him in lesson. He had a TA all through primary (statemented from starting school) and by the end it was more of hindrance than a help. He just ended up being told off at close range. Constantly. He is now in an ASD base, so it is different, but when he goes into mainstream he doesn't have a TA there but the teachers know what to expect (or not!) from him.

Thanks very much. Hope your DS is feeling better now Witchend though you are doing better than me - don't think DS has even started his big English project due in tomorrow. I have been asking him every night for 2 weeks, argh. I don't even have details of what it is.

I'm impressed Frayed

I don't totally understand the fruit salad situation but the lady that was going to be with him is very senior so that maybe why she's not going into the lesson. I think she meant well by phoning but whole thing seems to have thrown him. He's happy with receipes - he said he thought it should be just receipes and tips such as "blowtorch your bowl to make a cake in 20 minutes" and not practical work. I think he may have been scared by it not being a TA and being a senior lady though think that's just no spare staff. They have at least backed down a bit on the no support and say they are thinking about it but there's no money for a TA. Just hope can get him to school tomorrow. I did find an old ed psych report I forwarded on and they seemed happy with that but its 2.5 years old now.

Penguins it's a complete cop out to expect you to explain why your DS can't participate in a Home EC class about making fruit salad because it had a knife. It's bringing a school problem into your home, IMO, and it's unacceptable. Secondly, it's a travesty to expect a child to accept that the "theory of making a fruit salad" would be a substitute for "making a fruit salad". There are so many alternatives they could have chosen. They could have had him make cookies which would have been completely safe and no knives needed, no shame in being excluded from fruit salad making.

Good luck with the getting the LA to agree AornisHades.

generally I'd be chasing up on the 3rd day NoLogic. If urgent, then the next day.

Sorry DS is struggling with his homework witchend.

DS2 has returned home quite chipper tonight and got on with homework with no dramas. I mean he looks and sounds like DS2, but maybe it's a very good replica??

Got a phone call last night from school saying he was banned from making fruit salad today as they use knives and could I explain to him.

I had that with dd2 because she's missing her hand and so couldn't hold the item/knife in the "correct" way. I got my revenge. I got her a prosthetic with a knife attached. Much bigger health and safety issues there for them to sort out and they couldn't say anything.

I held the view that it was preventing her from accessing the curriculum. Why weren't they offering him to do the fruit salad with the support? Surely that would be the entire idea of support? Doing the "theory" is really mean, which was what I said. Either let them have effectively a free, where they can choose something to do, or let them do the subject properly.

I wouldn't worry too much about what he's eating unless it's stressing him out. I used to get really stressed about eating at school and all I'd eat was one digestive biscuit, so plain pasta sounds quite good to me.

I've got ds in tears over homework. He's had 3 hours since coming home from school and he's written about a sentence. He needs 300 words... :(

Logic I got told off by the advisory team at the council for being too nice and patient so chase them up as much and as often as you can bear!

Thanks Aornis Hope you can get them to assess. We had support from primary fine, a bit clueless at times, but always something.

NoLogic I always get replies same day at primary and secondary. Definitely phone / chase.