Have we got a starting Secondary School Support thread?

He's definitely been cruising in a very small pond - hopefully this will be a useful wake-up call for him, and I totally agree that being in set 2 is not even remotely the end of the world. He is a very, very sensitive and emotional lad though, and he takes everything to heart, while simultaneously being adamant that nothing is ever his fault! Wish me luck when he gets home

spider sorry to hear that your DS is so upset but it could also be because of the number of students - perhaps in Primary your son was more of a big fish in a small pond and it's different now with so many more students. He might be cruising or there might just be lots of very bright children in his year. AFAIK, DD's school sets for maths but that's it so far

Could you point out to him that lots of kids would be delighted to be in set 2 to try and change how he views it? I tend to say things like that to mine to put it in perspective

spider sorry about your DS. My DD was nearly in tears the other day as she got a B+ not an A. She needs to learn that she can't always be best in everything.

Boo - DS is stuck in set 2 until the next assessment. Head of Y7 didn't know anything about the nosebleed in his maths assessment and is going to talk to his teacher about it but apparently his English assessment was fractionally below the level for Set 1 as well, which is a complete shock to us. Apparently Set 1 is completely full anyway and she wouldn't be able to move him up in light of the nosebleed factor without moving someone else down, so that's that until December. She's going to ask the teachers to go through his papers with him and show him where he lost marks, and also have a chat with him herself about what he needs to do to get back up. Says it will be good for him in the long run, which I agree it will, but he's going to be devastated. It will hopefully put a rocket under him though and get him working a bit harder, because he's always had a tendency to cruise a bit.

Sorry to hear your DS is unwell with the antibiotics Frayed and sorry he's worried about missing school. Sometimes the doctors can give different types of antibiotics which give less of a reaction.

Sorry your DD is worried about homework Lougle, mine has almost nothing but last year got 2 hours a night at a grammar and it was terrible. I complained, as did others, and it got massively cut back.

Had call from school saying DD hurt herself on a wall and they asked her if she self harmed. She said no and I would bet money on that being a impress my friends with a fancy gymnastics manoeuvre but forget there's a wall in the way cut.

Sendiass called back to say to refuse unofficial exclusions. School are giving DS 1-2-1 in room today, DS wasn't keen but its worth a try. Its 1.23pm and he's still there at least.

DD1 completely lost it this morning and started sobbing about seeing some girls from her old school (who weren't particularly great to her). I sussed out that it was a cover for her main worry, which is the level of homework she's getting. In the end I took her to school with the intention of speaking to the SENCO, but she wasn't available, then neither was her form tutor, or her Deputy Head of Year (who apparently is meant to be the person you go to with pastoral issues). In the end a nice TA took her into school and later phoned me. She said that DD2 "was smiling" (not always a good sign for her!!) so I could be reassured. She did say that 20 minutes should be enough for homework and if it's too hard I should make a note in the app and say she's not doing it.

So far, I've been persevering and it's been taking hours to do homework, so I'm going to bear that advice in mind.

DS1s Yr6 teacher once set homework entitled "Why should Mr X bother to waste his time teaching us". Ds1 wrote the required 300 on words on how it was his (the teacher's job) and did he want to get sacked and end up unemployable and homeless. Children are known to be annoying as children are childish. Why be surprised etc.

We sent in with a note saying we felt DS1 had missed the point, but if they had a problem with the content to take it up with us. The teacher did actually take it ok and said that it was a logical response. (Ds1 wasn't actually in class for the incident that the teacher lost his shit at them and set the work).

DS2 is home today. Antibiotics have upset his stomach and he's pretty washed out. He is worried about missing school and getting shouted at which has been happening to some pupils in his mentor group. I've told him if he gets any bother to text me and I'll have A Word.

Witchend We have a nightmare with comprehensions when DS decides he knows better than the author and the questions are phrased as why do you think? They then get a A4 page of what DS thinks. 😎 Had to tell him today just give the answer you think they want.

I think we may be at the reduced timetable soon Penguins too. The PE meltdowns must be grating on them by now.

Witches & Penguins that sounds like dd too. She took issue with solar energy being described as 'will never run out'

Pick up surprisingly calm. They'd given her a detention and in telling her about it had caused her to miss her club and then because she was upset part of the next lesson. The detention was for something she couldn't help (not answering questions mid meltdown) yesterday so it seems unfair to punish her for it without giving her a chance to answer when calm.

Thanks. I am talking to the LA and the school and up until today it was the LA being much more helpful than the school. The LA are phoning me with updates and got in touch with school to say about help they should be providing. Complaint to Head seems to have got things shifted too. The issue with me doing EHCP was school were offering zero support before and you have to prove its beyond school support. In our old area that meant first 15 hours / first £6k. LA confirmed its similar there and school should be putting support in now. School are starting to do this and apologised for not doing it sooner. They are doing needs assessment and applying for TA funding. They have said they will continue sending him home which is not ideal but they have no staff to keep him safe if he runs off. So I won't be getting a new job anytime soon.

They phoned tonight to suggest reduced timetable for 2 days and rest of time doing what he wants at school. Told DS and not impressed look. Told DD and got that's so unfair I am going to throw 60 tantrums so I get that. 😂 That made him smile and she won't do that. They are trying to get Ed Psych in. DS says there's no one like him at school and it looks like SN children mainly go to other schools here but the good one is 30 mins drive and I don't drive.

We are getting lots of I know better than the question type answers like one question was what is the probability of the sun coming up every morning and the answer was certain. But DS is arguing it should be very likely as at some point the sun will explode.
I think our ds' would get on very well (unless they disagreed on the right answer, although the debate would be interesting )

That sounds awfully unfair Spider

And you can do mediation and tribunals to reach an agreement on EHCP.

Sorry. EHCNA is what you or school request

Have done so. At pick up now.
Re EHCP - parents can appeal even if school apply.

Penguin, the school or yourself would not be applying for an EHCP though, they apply for a statutory assessment. If for procedural reasons the Senco would delay applying for assessment, your DS will be in limbo for longer... What is your worry about applying yourself?

I am curious what is the legal position if the school applies for assessment and the LA comes back with an EHCP that the parents are not happy with, would parents have the right of appeal?

I'd definitely do what Penguins had suggested Aornis

penguins Sorry DS is still struggling. I think the general advice is it best for the parent to apply for the EHCP as if the LA refuse to assess it has to be the parent who appeals? Not 100% on that, but worth looking into.

I would maybe reply and say thanks and ask how she is today Aornis

Sorry to hear your DS is so ill Frayed

DH went to meeting with the SENCO and got a holding reply to my complaint to Head, governors just rejected it and sent it back to stage 1 which is not great but as Head is replying its fine. She says she's investigating and SENCO should help. She thinks he needs EHCP and DH said SENCO has now agreed to do that himself which is a bit of progress. DH did phone me saying DS was very distressed at school and he couldn't even get him home. I said to try food and then a few minutes later they both appeared with bread. DH seems quite upset at how distressed DS is and was almost crying himself - I realised before and had suggested teaching him at home but DH obviously hadn't. DS is here with me now. He's quite happy here in his sister's bed as she's got a TV with his bread and I'm asking him maths and spelling questions. We are getting lots of I know better than the question type answers like one question was what is the probability of the sun coming up every morning and the answer was certain. But DS is arguing it should be very likely as at some point the sun will explode. Then another one was lead floating on water probability and he's arguing the exact shape of the lead. He's not wrong but he would be marked wrong for these. Can also see the smart comments on every question could get annoying. But DS gets annoyed if things aren't exactly right.

Head also said schools don't have to have fencing around them or internal area locked. At our old school they had to, maybe as close to London. It scares me though knowing he can escape and go anywhere, think he would just come home.

I've just had a mail from the TA about yesterday's problem. No mention of today's happenings at all

I hope you hear something soon Aornis. We had a few fraught TA relationships over the years with DS1. Mostly not individuals at fault, they just just had inadequate training. A couple were downright awful though! He had one amazing TA in primary. She got redeployed as she was just so good they needed her for a more challenging child. It's a hard balance, hope you manage to get something sorted.

Now PE is off the table for a week or so, DS2 seems quite happy to go to school. He's doing well in most subjects and is pretty keen, it's really just been PE that has caused the tears and upset. Understandable when he's feeling grotty. Will see how goes, I won't be forcing him in.

No response yet. She might be in a meeting or dealing with dd.
I think the fraught relationship with her TA just broke down.

Oh, poor boy. Glandular fever is nasty :(

Aornis I hope you get through to the school and get your daughter sorted out, bless her.

I did too as a teen. I remember having a little lie down on the way to get a drink from the kitchen after my mum had gone to work. I was still asleep on the floor when she came home.

Can he not stay off school?