Have we got a starting Secondary School Support thread?

That sounds frustrating Aornis I had quite a battle before ours starting helping.

Glad your DD is OK Lougle, a school dog must be great.

DS said his day was meh but went to 4 out of 5 lessons just missing geography so that's not bad as long as he was OK in them. DD said PE they had a supply teacher who could hardly speak English, one girl got angry and ran into a busy road and supply teacher said just to leave her there. DD said she and her friend ignored that and went to report it and they got an SLT member but when they got back other kids were cross with them for reporting it. DD says girl is suicidal though not sure but surely needs investigating and not left.

DD2 seems to be ok. The dog is helping.

Turns out only thing that is happening is them writing a mail full of inaccuracies and restating their position. So we are at stalemate.

Hope he's feeling better soon Witches, at least its only three more days until half term.

Glad to hear things are happening Aornis

I've not had any news from school for a few days, hope that's a good sign.

Poor lad witches
Yes it is anxiety and I have said so for the absence purposes Penguins. It's already on her diagnosis so they know she has it. DH has joined the fray and apparently things are happening in school.

Hope school help you more soon Aornis, if you say its anxiety or school refusal they have it as unauthorised and don't seem to like that. So hopefully will give them a push to help.

Ds is off today with an ear infection. He's genuinely unwell today so that's fine, but from past experience it's hard to get him back in once he's been off, so I'm not looking forward to trying.

Dd out yesterday which was planned and she's not going in today. Expecting to be in full on dispute with school very shortly. I'm not prepared to sacrifice her mental health for this.

How is DS2 Frayed? Hope he's getting better and managed to rest this weekend.

DS wouldn't let me know which lessons he wanted to do this week so I had to take a guess from last weeks though he is a creature of habit. Think today he just didn't do computing because the computer teacher is the worst teacher according to DD and DS he's strict

He had to do drama as they had an assement though told me he'ld designed a 5 part scene with a group of other boys but they stopped it as scene 3 and his lines were in scenes 4 and 5 but they didn't have time. Still he got through 4 lessons by sounds of things and only 4 days until half term. No news from SEND as to whether his Ed Psych referral is being discussed tomorrow or in December, hope its tomorrow but deadline was missed.

I agree cakes. She's never gelled with this TA at all.

In my DS's experience, the personality of the TAs recruited by the school specifically for DS was everything. Maybe that is what made it work in academic MS. But that was with EHCP.

cakes no we haven't got anything like a buddy system in place. The TA experience has been very poor for dd so far. Like Frayed's ds I'm not sure she'd tolerate 1:1.

It's hard to see that vanish Aornis. His Yr6 teacher was awful so the transition to secondary was always likely to be better. DS1 doesn't tolerate 1:1 well at all so it doesn't work for him.

Finding the right balance of support is difficult, but I think most of all there needs to be a base understanding of the child, not a preconceived idea of what they should be able to do.

DS2 is still full of the lurgy.

Mine struggles with producing English work too - he got 118 spag and 108 reading but we were very lucky reading was on pandas. Though I am really not sure what his ability level is as he told me he deliberately answers reading questions wrong. He was doing that on maths with me when it was too easy. Bangs head

Thanks Cakes I don't think he has a buddy. I am not sure how many ASD kids they have, DS said its just him and school told me they had an ASD child in the past. Surely got to be more than one though. He is having a lot of time with Head of House who is quite senior and they are bit like a mentor and that's helping. DD said lots of other kids are spreading rumours about DS saying he was chewing gum and suicidal, both rubbish, DS doesn't seem that bothered just said they should make better rumours. If there was an ASD child he could be paired with that would help as he says he's the only one. A good TA makes a big difference, DSs one at primary was a bit scary, but teachers were lovely and was still an extra pair of hands.

Just wanted to express support for DC on the spectrum struggling. Heartbreaking to see it unfold in slow motion.

My elder DS survived MS quite well, probably due to full time 1:1. It is not just academic support, but also emotional if the TA is the right personality; it also provides some company when they didn't find a sympathetic peer. It avoided the meltdown.

Penguin, Aornis, have you asked for buddies and mentors? Did you ask for other children with ASD who are coping well to share their experience? Maybe an elder child with EHCP and 1:1 TA could talk how it works for her better than no TA ...

Frayed dd had a fabulous teacher in Yr 6. She really got her and genuinely seemed to enjoy trying to look at the world through dd's eyes. I feel like this has undone all her work :(

for DS1, Yr7 was really about undoing the damage of primary school (ASD teacher's comments). Being in the base was intense, he struggled with the noise, struggled with some of the pupils. At Christmas it got very noisy and he apparently surveyed the room and declared, with great disdain "I am so disappointed with my generation!" then walked off shaking his head. But now at break times etc he's the first to be cracking jokes and chatting.

He got 99 in maths SATs as he hated it at primary, but is now in mainstream for it and doing really well. Conversely he did well on the English SATs but is still in the base for that, as he can have real issues with producing work. The end of year assessment was on Anne Frank which was a disaster for him. The short stories he produces are amazing. Usually quite dark though!

Absolutely Aornis - DS hates the SN area but other kids love it.

See even this tiny bit of the thread shows how different dc with ASD are. Dd is academic but utterly paralysed with anxiety , phobias and SPD and possible dyspraxia. She'd do maths and art all day long. Won't speak to anyone though.

My DS always argues he doesn't need 1-2-1 but then was going into lessons standing in the corner all lesson with hands over his ears. I think he doesn't like appearing different by having a TA but then his behaviour makes it obvious too. I have to not call it a TA just the option to choose where you do your work and that's OK. Still have to get him to give me his timetable for next week. It's a bit random which lessons he's agreeing to though - suspect its going on how strict teacher is rather than the subject as he agreed to 2 hours of English today and rejected D&T.

Ds1’s school doesn’t have an autism base as such but has been brilliant. They gave him 1:1 for all subjects but he’s coping amazingly well with the creative subjects I thought he’d hate (art, drama etc) and he’s asked for the 1:1 to be removed so we’ve agreed to that.
He needs the extra support for all the traditional subjects though, but he is resistant. Trying to convince him it’s for his own good is an ongoing conversation.

Sorry the school are being difficult Aornis. It's so frustrating to remove support just when it's starting to work. I hope you're able to get them to agree to reinstate it whilst you wrangle with the LA over the EHC needs assessment.

SEN provision varies so much school to school. DS2's school is great at supporting DC who need additional help in academics, but DS1 would have lasted less than a week had he gone there. Even with an EHCP, it just isn't set up for a child like him. The only thing DS1 doesn't like about his school (apart from it being a school(!)) is the journey. He does about 50% in the mainstream atm. The 50% in the ASD base isn't all formal subjects, it's also social skills and homework timetabled in. When it comes to GCSE time, he'll be dropping a subject or 2 to do a life skills course instead. No formal qualification but they get taught how to use public transport, making food, ordering food out etc. He will loathe it!

Definitely would say no to going down to 1, might even need to go up to 3.

Aornis DS also seems to be struggling with the number of subjects but school have said for next week he can choose what lessons. Sounds like your DD needs to go back to that - I don't mind too much as long as he's doing the core ones like Maths, English and Science. He would be much better at a school with less subjects in more depth. Mine had a relationship breakdown like yours but got back when they changed the system so it is retrievable but sooner they act the better. Only issue is I don't know what will happen when it goes to full timetable but guess that's what the EHCP is for.