Are we ready for a GCSE’s 2019 thread?

DD doing quite well so far during the week but her weekends are busy and I'm concerned that she only did 20 mins of work (with me) yesterday. She went to birthday do last night and has volunteering and a concert today.
Most of yesterday was a school open day which she'll apply to for sixth form boarding and another to visit on Wednesday.
She loathes her current school and her out of school friends have noticed she's not as cheery as she was in summer now she's back at school 😢
So weekdays 3 hours of work in evenings - homework and extra revision. She has online 'tutor' (friend who has done A levels this year) in maths and will see how the rest of the time pans out

Well, DD2 managed to leave her half-finished Geography homework in class and had to bodge it on the day. Otherwise so far, so good. SHe's glad to be back in a routine and back with her friends, she had one minor bereavement meltdown and has discovered that she does in fact understand trigonometry, which is great news because she now realises she can list her weaknesses, go to refresher sessions her teacher runs at lunch and get targeted help.

She's also been put in a French enrichment group for those aiming at 8 and 9 and got a ridiculous mark in her end of Yr 10 English writing - marked by 2017 GCSE marking criteria, would have put her at a 9. So all in all a good start.

She has mocks in November and February and has started revising steadily. I don't think relaxing over the summer will have done her any harm - quite the reverse.

If it is only a small number of subjects, could you e-mail the teachers in question and ask them to send you or DS the homework via e-mail? Obviously that won't work if it's 7 or 8 subjects, but if there are, say, 3 'problem' subjects, they might see it as worthwhile, especially if you explain the steps you have taken at home to encourage homework but which won't work if he doesn't know what the homework is.

Does the school have a homework timetable? DC's does, and sticks to it - it wouldn't solve the 'not written in his planner' issue, but it would mean that you would know when he was given homework for each subject, and could tell him to contact a friend to get the details.

Or does he have a friend who is in similar classes, who is willing to text all homework to your DS pro-actively?

Now they've gone over to an app where all homework is recorded

I wish ds's school would do this. It would save so much aggro.

Is the school punishment like to be a kick up the bum?

Ha, sadly not! We've been here many, many times before...hence my frustration.

But, I was too hard on him last night. He even told me that yelling at him doesn't actually help him do any better; annoying but of course correct .

All I can do is keep the frameworks in place, support him and encourage him. The rest is up to him, I guess!

I am fortunate my DCs school was quite strict about getting HW written in planners. My eldest had such struggles that teachers were tasked with writing it for him (otherwise he was unable to write enough to be useful to explain the task). Now they've gone over to an app where all homework is recorded.

If your son is okay with subjects he is interested in then that gives hope for sixth form.

Thanks all, some wise words here!

We do already have a framework - ds starts h/w at X time, phone stays downstairs, he even has his own study with all his books and equipment right there so the temptations of x-box etc are out of the way. I check everything that has then been done when I get home from work and I text him to check he's cracking on before I get home. And, to be fair, he has improved somewhat.

The problem is organisation before he gets home. He has a planner in which he is supposed to write everything down; he often doesn't. There isn't any standard online set-up from school wrt to parents being able to check what h/w has been set every night - some teachers might put the info up, many won't. It is simply a case of he forgets to write it down, then forgets he has been given it even if I ask 'do you have philosophy/biology/maths h/w tonight?' and then it doesn't get done.

I ask him what he does in the lesson at the point when the teacher says ' right, tonight's h/w is...' but he just says, I don't know. Maddening.

The really frustrating thing is that in so many other ways he is proactive, self-starting and organised. If it's something he's interested in and wants to do, he's on it. This summer he organised his own job applications and interviews without any input from me at all, he's even got little 'freelance' paid writing jobs that he's sorted himself. He's independent and mature in so many ways except when it comes to subjects he dislikes. I'm hoping that all this does actually bode well for his future, but nevertheless he has to get decent grades in those subjects he dislikes before he can focus on all the stuff he does enjoy!

God yes-it is really really hard!

Yep, you're right of course.

Just so hard sometimes!

I also would stand back. Calmly tell him what the consequences of him not working are. Facilitate him getting his work done. Take him to see alternative provision that he'll end up in if he doesn't get the grades.
But I never told my DC off if they had already been punished by school.

You just can't make them work. And if they don't they have to take the consequences.
Now if he struggles I would help as much as possible, but you can't do it for him.
And arguments just mean more time wasted without work being done. It doesn't help anyone.

It's frustrating but you are raising him to be an adult and that means making his own decisions and dealing with the consequences.

Do you think he cris and acts as if the end of the world is here because he knows you'll backtrack?

Oh dear, I've messed up already. We've had shouting, door slamming and tears this evening - from both ds and me.

Was happily settling in for a quiet Friday evening, glass of wine, pizza on its way, when I open my phone to find an email from one of ds's teachers saying that he's put ds in detention next week for not completing homework.

I'm afraid I rather lost my rag with ds. We have had three years now of disorganisation, no effort with h/w and general lack of motivation. He promised that he'd turned over a new leaf, yet two weeks into term and already in detention for the same old reasons

I just get so frustrated, I yell, ds yells, then he cries and says he feels as if the world is going to collapse if he doesn't get good grades, and I backtrack because I worry about him being upset!

Anyone got any tips for handling this stuff better? I can't just retreat to , I'll be in rehab by December!

Ha! chocolate - the only reason I am not bankrupt is that FT is free (well part of internet package but you know what I mean) I do sometimes wonder what exactly my DD still finds to say to her best friend all evening after a whole day together every single day. But they are touch wood sweet girls and they look out for each other so I can't really complain.

Our next grade sheet (we get them every half term) is going to be different than previous one - they've run the pupils Yellis test from year 10 and a similar test they took in year 7 through the CEM centre to give not a predicted grade but a baseline/or "chances" grade.

So for example a score of 90 on Yellis when put through the analysis shows that 2% who scored 90 will get a 9 at GCSE, 4% will get a 8 etc. The graph will show what the majority who got that same Yellis score got at GCSE (over a 10 year period). This will then sit alongside the teachers predicted grade.

We've not seen this data before so will be interesting but I have had to pre-empt DD to not fall into the mindset that the baseline is a guarantee as I can imagine given her personality she could get quite down on herself. I know as well that for a few of her subjects she really clicked as year 10 progressed so will have to keep reminding her of that...

Hi flatmouse! I'm starting to get deja vu. Glad to hear that DD was ok with her result.

myrtle We've a similar evening next week. I hope it's a bit more useful than the one they did 3 years ago for DD1. An evening of "YOU MUST ALL WORK REALLY HARD COS THIS IS DEAD SERIOUS" really isn't what DD2 needs. I hope the tutor works out well. I'm also sniggering at your DD not fancying the idea of using technology to do a tutoring session! I actually think it's a brilliant idea. I might see if there are any science tutors that would do that as there is a genuine shortage of science teachers and tutors round here.

Sorry, not been on for ages. hope everyone is doing ok?

DD went back to school at the end of last week and we had an information evening this week about the joys of year 11!

DD has had a knock to her confidence in one of her subjects and really feels like the teacher has no time for her. At parents evening at the end of the last term the teacher was saying he felt DD wasn't reaching her potential. Of course, DD thought he was just saying that as parents were there.
Anyhow, we got a local tutor sorted for alternate weeks during the summer holiday to hopefully enable DD to feel a bit more back in the groove. Annoyingly tutor has been very flakey - last minute cancellation due to house move and then this week they just plain forgot.

Anyhow, have scrambled around and appear to have found an excellent new tutor (more experience and more expensive) but this will be online rather than face to face in our home. I guess it will probably take a session to feel comfortable talking in that way... (although I did laugh a lot when DD said she didn't like FaceTime - given how much she spends on it with her best friend this seems an unlikely assertion...)

Will catch up with others posts now

Thanks double, best wishes for your DS also.
Exam was ok, it's done :) She has been told level (fail/pass/merit/distinction) and is happy enough.
Re health, she seems to be improving but still unknown cause and another referral to try to pin it down.

Zoflorabore thank you, I think so. He is certainly more mobile but still very sore. Hoping the stairs aren't too challenging at school.

flatmouse hope your DD's exam goes well. Getting teachers they like is half the battle, I think. Having a rapport with the teacher helps keep them motivated and interested in a subject, plus it is easier for them to ask for help if they feel their teacher is approachable. I hope her health is much better this year to keep her in school as much as possible. Oh for a magic wand!

DD has her English speaking exam after school today, and is working to get her portfolio/performance (can never remember what they call it) for drama done by half term. Unfortunately personality clash with drama teacher and she's gone from confident performer who enjoys the subject to no longer liking drama and being accused of not being willing to perform. Long chat between myself and DD and now DD is attempting to kill with kindness, so lots of smiles and making the effort to get involved with any extra sessions put on to discuss progress. Wasn't helped with ongoing health problems that meant she missed a lot of drama lessons last year.

@AtiaoftheJulii - thank you so much! I think I have found a reasonably local college which offer the exciting courses my DD will love rather than our sadly v old fashioned 6th form and other local colleges who seem to have dropped courses this year