All the country seems to be celebrating GCSE results, I am not!

I understand your disappointment, but you really must put your emotions to one side in order to focus on what she needs right now.

There’ll be time for you to allow yourself to feel the disappointment once she’s on a path that’s right for her.

For now, seek advice - there are plenty of options out there for her that could potentially see her achieve her chosen career path.

Before you commit to retakes, re-marks or anything else, take a breath and seek professional guidance.

But you do need to paste on a positive parental face and not let her see how much of an impact this has had on you. She is your priority here.

Best of luck with everything. All will work itself out.

OP those BBC answers are bollocks !

I don't know why they are fudging them so much and using corporate government speak- possibly because the answers have to be so general...

Last year at some point (after many schools had set A Level entry criteria, helpfully) the government decreed a grade 4 perfectly acceptable and more or less instructed universities, employers, schools etc to accept them as a qualification in line with the way they used to think of Cs.

A 4 is a 'standard pass' and a 5 is a 'strong pass' , officially.

We have had quite a few stroppy parents about this, where we have set 5s as entry requirements. They are perfectly entitled to kick up about this tbh since all unis (bar one) accept a 4 in Eng and Maths as basic entry requirements and yet schools set the bar higher.

Words went missing there ! : should say a cyber security higher apprenticeship , so it's post 18 ...

The apprenticeships thing can be a red herring as MN treats it a bit as if it is an 'easier' alternative for entry. I live in a backwater; I cna tell you no sodding apprenticeships round here! And you need to go through a VERY rigorous recruitment, harder tna unis' and -usually- post A Level!

OP, I'd focus on the fact that your DD absolutely still can do A levels with her ability profile (or BTecs if she'd prefer them)

I do know Santander does a cyber security 18 anway but worth thinking about. I think thay need about 104 UCAS points so quite challenging to gain access.

In the nicest possible way OP and I don’t want to kick you when you’re down, you need to get a grip of yourself. You’re no use to your daughter weeping and crying all over the bloody place. It’s a few exam results, no one died. Being a high achiever yourself counts for jack shit. So am I and my son is autistic, expectations need to be revised.

Dry your eyes, dust yourself down and start looking at colleges. Uni is by no means a closed door but even if she doesn’t get in, it hardly means she’s going to end up on the scrapheap. And maybe take a step back. My kids aren’t at this stage yet but I find it staggering on here how much actual work parents seem to do for their kids. My parents were committed to mine and my sister’s schooling but I had no practical help from them after about p4 as they had no qualifications. I know it’s been with the best of intentions but things like flash cards and finding you tube tutorials I would expect parents to do with primary school kids, not almost adults who can formulate their own means of studying.

I’m sure it’ll all come good for her

Cyber security is definitely something one can get into following the apprenticeship route. Even in my backwater area of country, there are relevant apprenticeships. University not the only path, maybe not the best path, even. I have seen too many posts on MN about high achievers, but also a few about kids who just got 4-6s.

*University’s offer = universities offer. Rouge apostrophe:(

I don't get how your dd was in all the top sets, when you were doing so much additional tutoring.

Your dd needs to speak to someone either at school or sixth form college and see where she can go from here.

Absolutely second frogs post. Ignore the “my child got 1’s/is in special school /Starving children in Africa brigade that always appear to tell you how lucky you are in comparison to whatever. Of course, she’s disappointed and worried and feeeling down - that’s ok! It’s good that she cares. But this really is an opportunity to teach her about resilience, flexibility and of how to turn a disappointment around.
Firstly she really does need, with your help, to try to work out what went wrong because if it’s fixable (nerves, wrong revision strategies etc) then finding a sixth form place needs to be your key focus and plenty of reassurance and maybe some additional support if you can afford it so that she can achieve a levels. But if she really did prepare to the best of her ability then maybe exam based A levels are not for her and Btech is the way to go.
A quick google shows (pp has put some links and there are loads more) that loads of university’s offer undergrad cyber security with btech level 3 as one of the possible entry requirements and all the ones I saw only want maths/English GCSE at 4. Most courses seem to be heavily course work based rather than exam so Btech looks like better prep to me.
Do the research together and she will benefit from feeling like she’s being proactive and co-constructing a plan B that she can get motivated & excited about.
Good luck

I am torn here op as I understand you are upset but for every one of those dc who got the 8's and 9's, there are many thousands who got 1's and 2's.

Your dd still has an element of choice.
She has very respectable results and I secretly think that this may be more about the private sixth form for you... maybe I'm wrong.

My ds got a 4 in English lit ( he's year 10) and I was thrilled for him because he passed it.
He is predicted to do very well next year but I've drummed it into him that I want him to do his best. Whatever that may be.

All is not lost. There is way to much pressure on young people these days. I could not imagine crying for 4 days over this, even if ds failed the bloody lot.
This does seem more about you.

Stop righting your dd's future off fgs and support her to decide where to go from here.
My DCs GCSE results years ago weren't good; both got 1st Class BSc(Hons) and MSc First Class with distinction.
Poor girl.

"This has to be a joke. Your dd PASSED all her exams."

But she didn't pass at the level she hoped for or expected, and didn't get in to the sixth form she wanted. You're saying she and OP are taking the piss for being disappointed?! Come off it. A pass at GCSE for a child who is in top sets and wants to go to a good university is not a huge cause for huge celebration and it's ridiculous inverted snobbery to pretend that it is.

Having said that, she does clearly have many good options open to her and it'll be a good lesson in resilience to see that you can get where you want to be in life even if the route is more circuitous than you might have hoped for.

Tell her she’s done fine and get her in to the local FE college to do something. It’ll come right. It’s not disastrous.

Dd got terrible gcse results in 2015, which was expected as she crumbles in tests. She went on and did level 2 computing, and re did her maths and English and passed in her first year at college, then she went on and did the two years level 3 for computing, gaining distinction in everything and leaving with triple distinction star and is now of to university next month. She also got 5 out of 5 offers from the university’s she applied to, all through sheer hard work in her course, only GCSE’s that mattered for her getting a place was maths and English as well as her level 2 grade and her first year level 3 grade.

My dd thought it was the end of the world when she received her results but I feel that it was a blessing as she found an excellent support system with her lectures, gained new friends and got more independent being at college.

Going through the college route is a great way to get in to a good uni!

OP, I'm sorry that things didn't work out as anticipated for your dd, but try to be positive for her sake. There are lots of very successful people who have gone on to achieve great things despite mediocre exam results, so this little setback really doesn't have to limit her. It's how she deals with it and what she does next that will really matter.

Random bold on there - sorry!

Ok - was her 6 in an ICT related subject? My advice would be to do a level 3 extended diploma in ICT alongside re-sitting maths to a 6. A set of distinctions or distinction grades would get her in to many top universities...A dist is equivalent to an A in ucas points.

Kings college https://digital.ucas.com/courses/details?coursePrimaryId=8c81bed8-70bc-a5db-6b38-0c26564aee1b&academicYearId=2019

London City https://digital.ucas.com/courses/details?coursePrimaryId=13cd76f4-ca09-5096-5e63-fe50928014c6&academicYearId=2019

Goldsmiths https://digital.ucas.com/courses/details?CoursePrimaryId=9782b3b0-9644-ef6d-7ad9-cf20fe5cd9f6&CourseOptionId=e6838079-530e-4c4a-9f68-b0aa10b893fb

Search through the ucas courses pages & reassure her & yourself. An extended diploma is a v well respected qualification & is accepted by most universities. They're also coursework heavy which, if her results are as surprising as you indicate, will be far better for her.

And this is why we have FE college because sometimes people need a second chance or to travel a different route.

There are loads of Btec options out their Business with Law or IT. When life doesn't go the way you want you have to dig in a forge a different path. It is at times like this when you find out who you really are. Sit down and cry or stand up and look for another course.

In years to come your DD may well look back on this a formative moment in her life, the point where she learnt to fight and win. She will talk about this in interviews and with colleagues and use it to prove she can always move forward.

Sit and cry for a bit and then stand up and fight back.

That is more or less the talk I give to a number of students every year. The ones who listen invariably go on to do very well in one way or another.

If she wants to go to uni she probably still could, but that doesn't mean she should.

DH had to resist math's and English, and took 3 year's to get through college with mediocre results. He still got into uni (applied because that's what everyone else was doing) but it was a struggle and he never enjoyed it. Afterwards his middle of the road degree was near useless. A few years later he retrained as an electrification and loves it.

Of our school friends, most went to uni, but barely any are doing professional jobs, and DH is probably doing as well career wise as any of them (including those with all A's and B's at school).

Might be worth finding a route she can excel at rather then forcing her onto a path she doesn't seem suited for.

My advice is to show your dd that you have faith in her and believe that she will go on to great things

@reasonable she really needs to speak to a careers adviser. They will be able to talk to her in an impartial way without the emotion you are (understandably) feeling.
They will have information on colleges, courses, university and jobs which will be recent and relevant. They will be able to offer advice on getting into her chosen career.

And of course university is still open to her. Some subjects may be no longer an option but there are literally thousands of courses she could access in the future.

Please please help her see that whilst the grades weren't what she hoped for that they are still solid grades and all are pass grades, and that she can achieve her dreams just maybe a different route. And she can always resist key ones such as Maths and English if she needs them.

I understand feeling disappointed and anxious for her. What mum wouldn't. It's also your job as a mum, though, to help her to work out what her realistic options are, from now on and, basically, to hold it together and be a rock for her. Even her predicted grades aren't going to translate well into the A and A* she'd need to study law. On the other hand, there are vocational pathways into "computing" which is a vast field that is less reliant on the traditional academic degree route as the knowledge and skills required are rapidly updating and, particularly with coding, there is no substitute for raw skill and experience.