Private or move house for state school

I've had children at 3 state secondaries and have been able to communicate directly with teachers at all three. Just anecdote, I know, but still.....

Agree about communication . I've had kids in both sectors and state secondary much better at responding to emails than private.

I think you have a few years yet to decide - schools do change. Keep your fingers on the pulse for now but no rush....

Teachers reach out to parents and want to communicate - this is massively different from state where we weren’t allowed contact details for teachers and had to come to school if we wanted to contact them!!!

This is VERY FAR from my experience. I have had excellent communication with my DCs' teachers in state school, both primary and secondary. I can email teachers if I wish, and they reply, sometimes within minutes.

In your place, with an outstanding secondary nearby, I would move house. In fact, I did. Very glad I did too, as I have since got divorced, been made redundant, and could never have afforded to pay private fees. Plus a house will make you money in the long term. For a state secondary that has results similar to the private, why wouldn't you use it?

Kids who have parental support, and a range of activities, experiences etc. will do well wherever they go.

Just be wary OP of generalisations as you'll invariably get when you ask questions like this - example the post above about communication with teachers in state schools. My experience is the polar opposite of that, so don't be swayed by the "state is always like X and private is always like Y".

In your shoes at 4 we put them in the best lrimary we could find (state). By the time DS was 8 DH's career was on an upward trajectory and the school wasn't ticking his boxes so we moved him. Fees started at about 7k pa. They ended at 20k 10 years later. When both DC were secondary age they hit £36k for two (London day school).

We didn't take the leap until we could pay forward four years of fees and we always had the option of downsizing and moving to zone 6 which would have freed the balance of their education at any stage.

I think if you have to ask you can't afford it and your DH is right.

I think your getting a bit ahead of yourself. You've still got a good few years. A lot can happen within state schools in 7 years. A good school can be graded lower and a school that was a bit shit can become outstanding.

When working out whats best for your children you need to know them. At 4 you don't know if they would be better in an academic indie, or a school with less pressure or a very sport orientated school etc.

Not all independent schools are full of super rich families, some, the cheaper ones, are less flashy. Only one ski holiday a year!

I would also be very mindful about what the job market and economic situation will be for our younger children in the future.

Would it be great for your children to have some investments to fall back on. Invest the money you would have spent on school in property,

If your oldest if only 4, it's also worth noting that your local schools (both in your current locality and the one you are eyeing up) may change quite drastically!

We’ve just made a similar choice and we decided not to move and put the kids in private school. We were happy in our home, had just got everything as we wanted so no need to move other than schooling. The private school has offered so much more than just normal learning. The facilities, sports, extra stuff is where we get the value. My kids love sport and they have PE/ games of some sort just about every day! Teachers reach out to parents and want to communicate - this is massively different from state where we weren’t allowed contact details for teachers and had to come to school if we wanted to contact them!!!

I'd find out loads about the state schools before making any decision. The secondary my son goes to (inner city state comp) isn't seen as desirable, but he's happy there, there's a lovely atmosphere, he's got a great group of friends and is on track for similarly good grades to his cousins, who are both at top notch private schools. Ask other parents at your kids' primary about the local schools - presumably some of them already have kids there.

I’d move for the state school. You would then have money to spend on extra curricular activities.

Unless very wealthy three school fees is a huge monthly commitment. I would worry about redundancy or ill health and then having to move dc to state school.

I think a good state school with outside support from parents is the way to go.

Three DCs.... by the time they reach secondary school the fees are likely to be £25K per year per child, after taxes...move house to have the option of a good state school I'd say.

I have experience with both state and private schools and I must say a good private school is worth every penny. However, beware there are private schools out there that are not much different to state, sometimes even worse. Bright kids will get their GSCEs and A-levels in any school but a private school will give them the environment to explore and find themselves, find talents and confidence for life. Financial security is what we constantly struggle with as parents but nothing is guaranteed in life. We only have this limited window of a few years of senior school when this can make a difference so let hope we can pull it off. Good luck with whatever you decide to do ! If you decide state, I would recommend to look at KEGS and Chelmsford County High as they do really well among the state schools and Chelmsford is an easy commute into London

Interesting as we have the same dilemma.

There is a local school that is good but doesn't have a sixth form and the college is dreadful. We are currently coming down on the side of sending them there and paying privately for sixth form if they are keen on A-Levels come the time.

Also costs for private today will increase, typically by 5% each year.

If there is not much difference between the independent and the excellent state school, I would move and invest in a property in the catchment area of the excellent state school.

Obviously the standard of state schools depends hugely on the individual school. There are some very good ones, and places are fought for. Buying a house in the catchment area dosnt always gaurantee you a place, even if you get the first dc in, they may not have a sibling policy.
Are you aware of the cost of private education?
I’m no mathematician but roughly,
£7000 per term x 3 =£21000 (1 year)
Let’s multiply that by 6 (for secondary school eg) = £126000
Now, you have 3 DC, so that’s £378000
As your dc are young, are you thinking about prep school as well?
In which case you can double the whole lot = £756000

Sorry my maths not working £40k pa is £3,333 per month!

Agree with everyone else. There is no such thing as a "right" answer. It depends on the exact schools / options you have and how they best fit your children.

Private education locally here is about 13-14k per child per year. That's before any extras (lunch, activities, uniform, trips, travel). We're also a family with 3 children. That's £40k (at least) per year of NET income for 7 school years. Even spreading the cost over 12 months that's £3250 per month net income. That's a really big commitment in my view.

We moved here purposely for state grammars school. House is smaller than we'd get elsewhere for the same money but lots of other people have done exactly the same thing so very family oriented area, lots of pushy parents (including me ) so mountains of sports opportunities /out of school activities.

Each year the results fluctuate a couple of % either way - one year the state grammars will get better results by 1 or 2%, the next year the indies will do better. There certainly is no way on earth that the difference in the provision is worth £40k a year for us. Also, i dont have to work full time which is important for us, we can afford holidays / days out etc that widen their experience, and longer term, we should be able to help them financially as they get to uni / get married. We probably wouldn't be able to do that if we were paying school fees.

You should visit the options you have, talk to other parents who have children there. It's certainly not the case that motivated children in a positive environment only attend indie schools!

I moved from a beautiful Victorian home to a 1950s semi to get into the catchment area of outstanding state schools. I don't regret it , the secondary school exam results are better than several local private schools and way above the results achieved by the secondary school closest to my lovely old house. Both my children have done/are doing really well. Move to the better school catchment, 3 at private school will be so expensive.

OP has three children though Rudi.

Private isn't always better though is it, depends on the school, depends on the child. Our state school gets better results than all the independents county wide but most importantly is a fantastic fit for DD.

For one child I would stay put and pay for private education. For three I’d move to a good catchment area. Independent schooling for three will cost in the region of a quarter of a million throughout the time they are all there.

We chose the indi School option rather than move as the secondary options near us were not great. Personally I believe that the facilities, subjects on offer and extras like artist in residence, author visits etc plus the fact they support DD in her sport make it the right choice for us, we are probably spending less all told on the School than it would have cost us to move to a catchment to a so called outstanding School but one I have some worrying things about.

Move house! And keep your investment in bricks and mortar.