which north london girls secondaries have happy children?

...both City and Channing do 'exploding offers' i.e. they say you've got until the state school offers day to decide whether to accept a place but in reality they'll fill their places and begin rescinding offers. They may well be lovely schools but this, to me, suggests that they're putting their own interests above the families who apply and that this might be a reflection of a less compassionate attitude towards pupils.

There's no evidence that they are not compassionate towards their pupils once they've joined the community. Channing, at least, and I believe City as well this year called up parents of prospective siblings to let them know they needed to get their skates on if they wanted their girls to be in the same school.

I think St Helen's fits the bill, academic enough but not a hothouse and lots of other things going on. If your daughter is very academic, she might be very happy at NLCS, too. I think the most important is not to push your daughter and do lots of tutoring. If she gets into NLCS without stress, then she will be happy there. If she needs two years of tutoring to get in, she won't be happy and the stress will become too much.

In my experience, very academic and extremely bright children are very happy and inspired in the very academic schools, it is usually those who were pushed in at all cost who are unhappy. But I think St Helen's is missing from your list. Also look at G&L, depending on where you are it may not be too far?

What we did was to do was to pick a school where we knew they got good results but didn’t have a stellar intake. DD1 was always in the top 10, sometimes much higher, but there wasn’t a huge cohort of anxious girls. It was a relatively small pond and she thrived. Plenty of north London girls were weekly boarders there as it’s an easy commute! As it’s not on your list, I assume you are looking at Londin only, but if you can afford it, there are other options.

OP, I don't know where you live and it may be too far but have you looked at St Helen's in Northwood? Fantastic school. Academic but very nurturing too. It's on the Met line tube plus they have an extensive coach service.

I do hear good things about Parli, but then I also know of girls there who've had issues. I think it's an epidemic really, I honestly can't think of a single school where I don't know a girl who's had MH issues, state, private, co-ed etc.

I agree with FanDabby that there are so many crucial unknowables (the luck of the draw with classmates/teachers) that it's worth thinking about the things you can control like ease of journey.

Another thing we learnt is that both City and Channing do 'exploding offers' i.e. they say you've got until the state school offers day to decide whether to accept a place but in reality they'll fill their places and begin rescinding offers. They may well be lovely schools but this, to me, suggests that they're putting their own interests above the families who apply and that this might be a reflection of a less compassionate attitude towards pupils.

Parliament Hill if you’re in catchment. Their high achievers do as well as they would at any selective school, and the pastoral care is outstanding. Lots of happy, confident, articulate girls.

@BubblesBuddy speaks sense on this point. Parents who pay for selective independent schools they've chosen are mostly happy.

I learned a lot on my 1st child which I will act on for all the other DC.

Choose the school on the basis of journey: length and complexity on a BAD day, not the TFL journey guide that was measured at 2am during the summer holidays..

Pick the school that is most aligned to your child's interest. If they mostly get A* in maths but your kid is not good at maths, why put her under that pressure to keep up? Ditto sports.

OP, I like your approach. Happiness is key.

Many good points were made in first two responses.

I just wanted to alert you to important changes in the NL consortium's testing, which might perhaps make getting an offer a bit less predictable for the relevant schools (SHHS, FHS):
London Consortium Independent Girls' Schools scrapping 11+www.mumsnet.com/Talk/secondary/3056636-London-Consortium-Independent-Girls-Schools-scrapping-11

DD is happy at FH Regent's Park - where "kind" is part of the slogan.

I think, probably, that the happiness of the school is probably inversely proportional to how academically selective it is, so maybe Francis Holland?

I have heard lots of negative things about the happiness of the girls at City, not so much the school's response but perhaps the nature of the girls themselves (driven, perfectionist etc). I've heard similar things about the other schools actually though someone told me that North London has good pastoral care. I might know more about City girls because it's the nearest one to where we live.

I think the problem is, that most parents are hapy with their choices, especially when they are paying. They have expressly chosen the school they think fits their child so you will only get positive responses. Who is going to say their expensive school is awful!?

From my experience over many years, most schools are great. Most children are happy at school. Just look round the schools that are most likely to fit your criteria and speak to some pupils. You have some highly academic schools on the list, so make sure that is realistic and if you think its too pushy, drop down a notch on the academics.