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Help m daughter has been banned from proms

115 replies

Catherineandoh · 17/05/2018 22:40

Please can anyone help me, I'm typing this message in tears, I feel like I've failed my daughter as a parent. My lovely hard working daughter which I adore so much has been banned from proms and it's so unfair, she was involved in an unprovoked attack, she was attacked by another girl who has behaviour issues, my daughter was held down when this girl was beating her up, she had bruises, when she finally broke free she was taken into the safety of an office but for some reason the attackers boyfriend got into the office and attacked my daughter pushing her and hitting her head onto a wall. When the fight was going on she couldn't breath or free herself to defend herself because her head was in headlock and another child was holding her down. When she finally broke free she acted on impulse to hit her attack but she ended up hitting a teacher by accident. The teacher even explained that my daughter hitting him was an accident. The school excluded her for 5 days and invited us to a meeting with the board of governors who have now decided that she can't attend the proms, we've even appealed but they still say no. My daughter is very stressed now, she won't eat and is complaining of severe headache, she's currently doing her GCSE and I'm sacred this can affect her performance. She's never had any problems in school and she's a good student, she worked in te school library, raised funds for charity, been a year and school council and even raised money for proms. What can I do now. This is no fair at all. Please can anyone advice me on what to do. Thanks

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ijustwannadance · 18/05/2018 01:20

What punishment did school give to her attackers?

Catherineandoh · 18/05/2018 01:18

@yellowpaper none was taken into account, I'm not saying she's an Angel but she's very helpful in school. The school has failed my daughter and I feel so helpless that I cannot do anything about it, I've got 2 other daughters and now I'm worried about them, askin myself a lot of questions.

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Whyarealltheusernamestaken · 18/05/2018 01:17

Bull, sorry but the school is legally obliged to report everything. Victim blaming is like the plague, their ofsted rating would suffer. The only reason for suspension and it’s hard to do already, is violence, and it wouldn’t be approved if it was in self defence. Maybe a more honest family chat is in order? Schools are so highly regulated they wouldn’t suspend without proof

Catherineandoh · 18/05/2018 01:13

Thanks so much @Dilligaf81 we've spoken to citizens advice bureau and there's no law against banning from proms so we have tobre appeal

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Catherineandoh · 18/05/2018 01:10

@ChinaRose I'm really trying to convince her but it's not easy, you know how kids are, everything was planned for the prom from the beginning of the year

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Dilligaf81 · 18/05/2018 01:09

Yes you can still report it and i would. Does the office have cctv? Id ask the school about that asap as they may record over tue tapes if the use them plus it would show the actions on that day.
The school have failed your daughter and i would be going to the education department which you have the right to do if you've complained to the governor's and are still not happy.

Catherineandoh · 18/05/2018 01:08

@Ebayaholic @Peanutbuttercups21**@Ebayaholic
We didn't involve the police. 😢 my heart is so broken because I never thought in my life we will experience such an unfair treatment. I feel helpless and hopeless.

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ChinaRose · 18/05/2018 01:06

Report it. Tell her not to worry about the prom. Sounds like an unfriendly unsafe atmosphere for her right now.

Catherineandoh · 18/05/2018 01:02

@amazingpostvoices this happened 3 weeks ago, can we still repot it?

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Catherineandoh · 18/05/2018 01:00

No we didn't report it to the police so none of them were arrested. We thought as they're kids school will handle it

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AmazingPostVoices · 18/05/2018 00:00

If events transpired as you say I would be volcanically angry,

How was she not safe in the office?

I would not accept the exclusion and I’d be very tempted to go to the police.

yellowpaper · 17/05/2018 23:53

This is awful. I’m a deputy head for behaviour and I think her excellent conduct prior to the incident has not been taken into account.

I would appeal in writing to her head of year. Explain the impact/remorse she is suffering and the detriment to her exam focus.

YoYotheclown · 17/05/2018 22:59

Why would they suspend your dd if it was her getting attacked? Not sure what else you can do apart from appealing again.
Prom is overrated imo.

Peanutbuttercups21 · 17/05/2018 22:58

Blimey, hope you and her involved the police!

Ebayaholic · 17/05/2018 22:53

Hi I'm so sorry that this has happened, hopefully someone wise will come along to help. Have you pursued a complaint about what happened to your daughter and why there was no safe place for her? Have her attackers been arrested?