Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

Standard year 7 age stuff, or should I be concerned?

37 replies

Floottoot · 04/05/2018 14:13

DS is coming to the end of year 7 in a selective indie. He got in as a music scholar, which means he's expected to take part in the musical life of the school. While it keeps him busy on 2 days, I don't think it's excessive by any means, and he chooses to play in another orchestra outside of school.
The school isn't one of the top flight London/home counties schools or similar, but it has very good academic results. DS has to travel there by bus, so leaves the house at 7.15am and gets home anywhere between 5.15pm and 6pm, and 8.30pm on the day he goes to the county orchestra rehearsals.
Obviously, he has music practice to do at home every day ( 2 instruments, so roughly 75 minutes total) and homework/ revising every evening. While I'd say it was quite a lot ( he doesn't ever not get set some), it's generally not a huge amount for each subject ( a maths sheet, some language exercises to complete and translate or vocab to learn etc).

Recently, he's started to complain that he never feels like he has free time and that he's finding it all too much.
He knew what was involved, regarding the scholarship expectations when he applied ( he wanted to go to the school, we didn't push him), but I think the long days are taking their toll.

My question is, is this fairly typical of a year 7 boy's reaction to having to work, or do I need to mention it to his form tutor? DS is pretty bright and able and very self motivated when it's something he enjoys, so I don't think it's the standard of work that's bothering him, more the fact that he just has to do it.
My thoughts are that he needs to get on with it and stop thinking that free time every night ( his version of free time being an hour or 2 on the PS4) takes priority over school stuff BUT I'm also aware that he's heading towards teenhood and might be struggling with the whole life thing. He's not the most laidback of kids and prone to getting het up about stuff, but I don't want to give him an excuse not to do what's expected of him.

OP posts:
Whiskers4 · 04/05/2018 14:55

I think you need to talk to him about what he really wants and can cope with, then discuss with the school as it's probably going to get worse as he gets older, as his school work will increase. If it's something he really wants, he can do it.

My DD has always been passionate about music, managed to get 11 GCSEs as well as two instruments, taking part in everything music and choir related. She then got a music scholarship at 16, she goes to music practice at 7.30am before a 8.10am start, she'll go again between lessons and other commitments and sometimes after prep finishes at 9pm she'll often go back into practice. The school know they'll be ups and downs which limit music practice like exam times, one one occasion her house were putting on a talent show which she had a big hand in organising etc

Chewbecca · 04/05/2018 14:54

I agree with him, he has very little free time.
DS is in year 9 at a grammar, gets home between 4:30-5:00 and gets about 3 hours of homework a week which he tends to save up for the weekend.

DrScully · 04/05/2018 14:51

Posted too soon!

Where’s his time to be a child? To daydream, and try new things? To see friends on a school night, or mess about outside?

DrScully · 04/05/2018 14:50

That’s seems very excessive for an 11/12 year old. I’ve done very well academically, and at that age I got home at 4 and spent he evening reading/watching tv/laying games, with maybe 30 mins of homework.

I feel sorry for the poor lad. Whe

Copper1122 · 04/05/2018 14:49

my yr 7 ds does nothing extra curricular and has little homework. he enjoys 5/6 hours freetime every evening .
i don't think it is very fair to say a 11 year old knew what they were getting into or the reality of that level of work and monotony.

Porpoises · 04/05/2018 14:47

Also, I don't think it would be fair to argue with him that "You knew what was involved, you agreed to these expectations." With an adult, certainly, but a child in year 7 doesn't have the life experience to envisage what that level of time commitment will actually feel like in practice, or to estimate how many things they are able to handle at once. It is mature of him to recognise that it's got out of hand, and talk to you about it.

Porpoises · 04/05/2018 14:43

That is a very long day, even by adult standards. Downtime is vital for health and happiness. Are his weekends free or does he have activities?

Let him cut down the music practice if he wants, its better to progress slightly slower than to burn out and start hating it. 30 minutes a day with focus and enthusiasm will achieve as much as 75 minutes a day when exhausted and just going through the motions.

Can he start to do any of the homework on the bus? It would give him more quality free time at home.

TempleOfBlooms · 04/05/2018 14:39

I am out of the house at work for the same hours your son is out of the house at school. If I was told that when I came home I had to do over an hour of music practice and then half an hour of homework and then be sent to bed I would despair. It seems a lot.

Mannix · 04/05/2018 14:34

I have a boy in year 7. He’s at a state school, but one which has great results and prioritises high academic achievement. The homework load sounds similar to what you describe. He also plays two instruments (but definitely doesn’t practise for 75 mins per day - nowhere near!!) and does a lot of sport.

My DS is finding it quite tough and hugely values his weekend time. So I would say that your DS’s reaction is ‘normal’, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t listen to him. I am actively trying to think of ways to reduce my DS’s load.

I’m not sure why you’d speak to the form tutor though - what would he be able to do? Isn’t it up to you and DS to decide whether he needs to reduce his extra curricular commitments?

Soursprout · 04/05/2018 14:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DrEustaciaBenson · 04/05/2018 14:26

I can see his point, actually. It's the music practice, rather than the homework, that takes up the time. On the days he gets home at six, 75 minutes music practice takes him to 7.15, that's assuming he starts it straight away and doesn't stop for a snack or anything. Then presumably you have dinner, so he's not starting on his homework until around eight.

If he has to leave the house at 7.15, he's presumably up by 6.30, so in bed by 10.00 or earlier.

He doesn't seem to have much time left to chill out, or interact with family.

Does he sleep well? If he doesn't have time to unwind properly before bed, he might have trouble getting off to sleep.

RolyRocks · 04/05/2018 14:24

To be fair, that does sound reasonably normal (plenty of other children spend an hour or so on an extra-curricular activity and do their homework) in terms of the amount he is doing. If he has both weekends reasonably free then I would agree with you that he is not being hugely overstretched.

However, it doesn't hurt to re-evaluate with him how he spends his time and the reasons why (the extra orchestra for example) so that he feels a little more in control. Yes, he wanted the scholarship and that comes with responsibilities but that is hard for a Year 7 to 'get'!
So I would ask him if there is any time in the school day that he could do some of the homework (lunchtime etc) or can he use some of the bus time (if learning vocabulary or revising - reading on the bus might kill two birds with one stone)