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Original poster

Are your geeky/quirky/anti-social yr 11 dc going to prom?

42 replies

Sadik · 17/04/2018 21:48

DD is dithering - she says she thinks she might regret not going, but can't think of anything about it that she will like. I don't really want to advise her, but I suspect unless I encourage her a little bit it'll be a default 'no'.

(She doesn't do dresses, and I wasn't sure if the fact that she'd 99.9% certainly be the only girl in trousers - even if she chose a jumpsuit, which she probably wouldn't - was putting her off, but I think it's more the social element and music.)

Anyone else in similar circumstances, and have you encouraged your dc either way?

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orangetriangle · 20/04/2018 22:48

Ds ADD absolutely adament he is not going. Wont be forcing him asked him a couple times and am leaving it there. I don't believe kids should be forced into these things
That said dd went to hers 5 years ago and I enjoyed getting the dress bag shoes prom car etc. I think she enjoyed it but hated the after party !! As everyone was totally drunk and she wasn't ready for all that at that age
I do know a friend of hers a boy ( who i suspect to be on the autistic spectrum) his mum bribed him to go with the promise of a new computer game. He was totally unhappy and out of his comfort zone the whole time. I think this is wrong and I don't agree with it. Not sure anything positive came out of it

BringOnTheScience · 20/04/2018 22:33

My DD, the uber nerd, wore a tux. She looked f*ing awesome ... plus she has the suit that will be perfect for many future formal events.

RavenLG · 19/04/2018 22:09

I was the awkwardish kid. Not really many friends. I went to prom with a couple of other friends. It was shit. I was going out with someone from another school and I wasn't allowed to bring him (most unfair hurrmf!) Spent most of the night in the toilets (it was in a very naice country hall type thing, had a room in the bathroom with a sofa and vanity mirror type thing). Music was shit, chavvy/popular kids were even more insufferable, teachers were annoying. I have little recollection of it now (it was about 15year ago when they just started becoming a 'thing') except my mum coming to pick me up from the school after getting home and accidentally slamming my dads digital camera in the car door and having to go to the bank the next day to give him money to replace it. I would say let her make her own decision.

BackforGood · 19/04/2018 21:52

My dd1 didn't go to either of hers (Yr11 nor Yr13). she's quite happy with her choice.
I did offer to give her money so she could go out for a meal or something with friends if she preferred but they never bothered. Couldn't quite see what the fuss was about, tbh.
dd2 wasn't sure at first, but then decided to, and has now got her dress and ticket Smile
Each to their own. I don't see the point in persuading them if they aren't keen.

Walkingdeadfangirl · 19/04/2018 21:45

Good result, let her think about it and decide herself.

Original poster
Sadik · 19/04/2018 21:43

Anyway, I have an answer - she's going to pay the £10 deposit and think about it . . .

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AlexanderHamilton · 19/04/2018 21:42

Did is going but she’s in a year group of 32 so it’s shall.

SHe has asd & the thing that concerns us most is that no one will be told where it’s being held until the actual evening. (School take them on a bus).

Original poster
Sadik · 19/04/2018 21:42

Ah, the blue hair was only in the holidays - she dyed over it on the 31st of August (fortunately school turned a blind eye to the rather magenta result - they're reasonably chilled about such things if you're hard working and not too much trouble elsewhere)

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Walkingdeadfangirl · 19/04/2018 21:38

Sadik would have thought your DD was a friend of my DS that I know is just like that. Except school would never allow blue hair.

Original poster
Sadik · 19/04/2018 21:38

I think our dc might get along well, Second Grin

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Original poster
Sadik · 19/04/2018 21:36

She's been the only girl in her year (frequently the only girl in the school) with short hair since she got it cut in year 8 so she's used to standing out, and the 'are you a girl or a boy' questions. I think she quite enjoys weirding out little yr 7s by asking them why it matters.

(Hair was blue last summer, so wouldn't be that much of a surprise to her classmates.)

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TheSecondOfHerName · 19/04/2018 21:31

Hi Sadik I remember you from the discussions about which Maths & Science A-levels for a child who is interested in both physical & biological sciences.

DS2 decided that he doesn't want to go to the Y11 prom. He wants to attend a university open day that day (yes I realise most pupils go to these in Y12), and might also be playing in an orchestral concert in the evening.

Also, he doesn't enjoy dancing, loud pop music or unstructured social events.

tootiredtospeak · 19/04/2018 21:25

No my antisocial autistic DS isnt wasnt even deliberating.

Walkingdeadfangirl · 19/04/2018 21:15

dying her hair bright blue and wearing a really bright coloured clashing floral suit!

Thats brave, glad she is confident enough to pull it off lol

rememberthetime · 19/04/2018 21:15

My daughter is going - but as a group with 4 equally geeky studious friends. But they have taken to it in their usual organised, detail oriented way. Every last detail has been highly managed - so they will enjoy it as a group and won't need to worry what other kids are doing.

They are also all invited to come here for a sleepover afterwards. I don't know why I agreed to that, but I guess I am a sucker for punishment or something. However I expect they'll all be asleep early and drunk teens are very very unlikely.

BTW - back in 1989 I went to my prom (or formal as we called it) in satin wide leg trousers and a silk shirt. I was the only girl to go in trousers and the first that anyone was aware of. it was fabulous - I was comfortable and all my friends were constantly hoiking up their tights or checking their boobs weren't falling out...

Original poster
Sadik · 19/04/2018 21:09

Though re. outfit she has just said that the main thing tempting her to go is the idea of dying her hair bright blue and wearing a really bright coloured clashing floral suit!

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Leeds2 · 19/04/2018 21:04

That is lovely, Malbecfan!

Original poster
Sadik · 19/04/2018 21:04

You haven't met my dd, Walking Grin Photos - no chance (tbh I'd be amazed if there's a paid for photographer, I suspect it'll just be phone photos). After party - even less of a chance (she did go to one of the many, many beach parties the teenagers hold round here - she said it was an interesting experience, but not one she wanted to repeat).

Outfit would be a good thing for her to have anyway I reckon - she's bound to need something smart in the future, and I imagine she'd go for some kind of women's tux type thing, so not just a one-off.

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Walkingdeadfangirl · 19/04/2018 20:57

£27, does that include photos, spending money, dress, after party and all the extras? seems very cheap.

Original poster
Sadik · 19/04/2018 20:51

DD would love that JufusMum (she has an ancient mac with flakey motherboard) but as the tickets are only £27 including bus to the venue, it wouldn't go far!

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JufusMum · 19/04/2018 20:45

DD hates her school and everyone in it so it's a no here, I said she can use the money I would have spent on dress/tickets/transport to go towards her Macbook for sixth form at her new school.

Walkingdeadfangirl · 19/04/2018 20:32

Yesterday my DS told me his friends and himself had decided none of them wanted to go to the prom and would be organising their own alternative prom, based around paint-balling. Very happy for them, have offered to help.

Only bad news was that one of the friends is being forced by his parents to go to the school prom. Sad night for him traumatised for life, why are some parents so narrow minded Sad.

Malbecfan · 19/04/2018 11:29

Awww, my geeky a bit immature but really kind 2nd DD organised her prom. I helped her to begin with, but she did the vast majority on her own. Some of the cooler kids in the year started out thinking it would be nerdy, but actually really enjoyed it.

The food was a buffet so not posh at all. The disco was done by a lad in DD1's year who had a side-line in mobile discos, so all the kids knew him anyway. Lots of the girls enjoyed dressing up (including DD who looked amazing) but some of her female friends wore a black tuxedo and looked fab too.

DD was only allowed to organise it through the school if a member of staff went, and that job fell to me. At the end of the evening, almost every kid came up to thank me, which was very nice, but I had to keep explaining that it was DD who deserved it, and to be fair, they all spoke to her too. It was the making of her!

BeyondThePage · 18/04/2018 16:56

DD17 a girly girl, went to hers, did the whole beforehand makeup/hair/dresses/ drinking then after-party thing.

DD15 - nerd herd - is deciding she wants to go to hers, has bought a beautiful, plain grey, floor length, sheath dress with a sparkly belt - will go to a friends house, get ready, and come home after.

Original poster
Sadik · 18/04/2018 16:50

The only problem is pointythings that dd doesn't have any nerd friends at school . . . (very small rural school, with less than 80 in the year - tractor obsessives yes, science nerds thinner on the ground)

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