Help - revision (lack of) related - just lost it with DS

Lonicera

Yes. He smashed the HAT test and can bullshit about his subject until the cows come home

That’s how to get in!!

Don't knock apprenticeships, there are some excellent ones out there. He will however require decent GCSE results to get a good one.

He does not want to be in the position of having to retake Maths and English at college. If he is really being idle, make sure he focuses his small amount of effort on these.

Loads of people at my 80s grammar school didn't organise their own revision. Parents didn't help either, so they just flunked and got jobs at 16. Really they would have been capable of doing better with more support, but teenagers not revising isn't a new thing.

Yes. He smashed the HAT test and can bullshit about his subject until the cows come home. His offer is conditional BTW.

Sorry that was in reply to LoniceraJaponica

Did he do the entrance exam though? It’s a bit different for Oxford. If you impress them on the entrance papers (I assume they still exist) then they don’t care much about GCSEs - or even A levels, if you’ve got an unconditional offer.

hmcAsWas

I am also old enough to remember O levels. They were so much easier than dd's GCSEs - the content and scope was much less I think. There really is no comparison. With negligible revision (I started literally 1 week before) I managed to get 7 Bs and an A. Wouldn't manage to get B's/ level 6's these days with just 1 weeks revision! Interestingly 7 Bs and an A were considered perfectly respectable and quite good back then in the 80's - whereas a lot of students aiming ultimately at higher education would be disappointed with mostly B's (or 6's) these days

"Your unhelpful answers only serve to make their parents feel inadequate"

Doesn't make me feel inadequate Lonicera, I just dismissed eddiemair as a bit of a tit

Kids are all different. Some are motivated, some aren't. Some are overwhelmed, some aren't. Some need help, pushing and nagging, others need the brake putting on so they don't burn out.

I don't blame schools for putting on revision sessions - they are judged so harshly if their students fail that they really have no choice. And some students do better with school-provided guided revision than they would working on their own. With the increased content and difficulty of GCSEs, it's a minefield working out as a parent what is going to work for your own individual child.

I've got two independent workers who don't need to be pushed, but last year we had DD1's friend living with us, also doing GCSEs, and she did all the school revision sessions - and it really worked for her. She was no less smart, no less motivated, she just learned better in that environment. Labelling young people doesn't help anyone.

Blimey, there's a lot more parental input on here than I've done. Maybe I should go over each subject topic by topic to put the frighteners on him over how much he still needs to do. But I was so dreadful at maths and sciences and don;t speak the MFL he learns, so can't help with much except my own subject.

DS is just doing practise papers and then looking at the questions he couldn't answer. i've asked/told/ngged him again and again to write down what he doesn't know, to highlight it, to discuss it with me, his DF or DB but he just reads it. He's far more engaged with selling stuff on Ebay and making a small fortune doing it.

I am old enough to have done O levels. We didn't even have calculators let alone mobile phones or the internet.

Back then it didn't matter if you failed an O level or two. You could resit and take some more - which is exactly what I did. Unfortunately a lot of older people completely fail to understand that you can't get away with this nowadays. Resits and low grades really do count against you.

BossWitch your posts are really helpful. The last post was excellent. I hope eddiemairswife has a better understanding after reading them.

I had no idea that low GCSE grades were an issue after A levels and degrees Tiddlywinks63. DD's boyfriend has an Oxbridge offer in spite of less than stellar GCSE grades (he only got 1 A*)

I quite enjoy helping DD with her revision so far!

BossWitch your comments are very illuminating. I’m in this position too with my apparently very bright DS. He’s got no idea how to revise and has been told for so long that he’s clever that he now believes he can just walk in and get top grades, despite his mocks predicting a very different outcome. He’s got no long term vision at all. Nothing matters except what happens on Fortnite today. When his Xbox allotted time is over he just switches to watching other people play Fortnite on that Twitch app. He will panic the day before the GCSEs start but then it will be too late.

Following this with interest...and a fair amount of reassurance. ☺
DD is coming to the end of year 9, with end of year exams and the iGCSE short course ICT mock and exam looming. She has ADH D and we absolutely have to do revision with her - by "doing", I mean sitting with her, reading text books and notes to her, helping her create mind maps, watching YouTube videos, working through BBC Bitesize and anything else that may help her. If we didnt, there is no way she would be able to manage.
I'd love her to be the type of child that was self-motivated or even able to crack on, once given a kick up the backside, but she isn't and may never be. It's reassuring to know she's not alone and that we're not the only parents having to hand hold.

It isn't just universities that are looking at GCSE results, employers do too, often more interested in them than A levels (and resits do not impress them either)
DS was dismayed to discover this despite having a First Class BSc (Hons) and a first in his MSc.
Luckily he's still done very well in his career but said he wished he had known that when sitting his GCSEs.

*weep not week. Should proofread when using phone to type, sorry.

It is definitely different now. There was far less distraction when I was a teen (I'm mid thirties so not ancient) which made it easier to concentrate on work. No mobiles until I was in 6th form, and then they were just text and calls which cost to much to use anyway, internet use involved going to use the family computer on very, very slow dial up, no you tube to fall down a rabbit hole with, no addictive online gaming. So easier to get on with doing some work - there weren't nearly as many other options! Equally though, we were given more responsibility. Anyone remember study leave? We had it for GCSE and a level- a couple of weeks before the exams started you were released from school and expected to organise your own revision, at home, and come in for the exams. That is unheard of now. Schools keep the kids in, put them on special timetables so that they are in the subject right before the exam, constantly providing them with teacher led revision. Therefore the kids see revision as something that is organised for them, led by am adult, taught to them. Teachers aren't even allowed to set open revision tasks anymore. When I started teaching 10 years ago we could set 'revise' as a homework. Now we have to prepare a specific revision resource for them to complete.

The immediate effect is good - results improve. The mid term effect is bad - kids doing a levels who aren't really capable and have to be dragged through by parents and teachers for another two years. Beyond that - uni students who are making academics week because they can't work independently.

But it is the whole system that is broken. It's not the fault of individual students or individual parents or individual teachers/schools. Teenagers haven't evolved/devolved in the last 30 years. The environment in which they operate has altered significantly. Not really their fault.

Surely this is a supportive thread. Referring to young people as 'clueless' really isn't helpful. We are supporting our eldest son - keeping him on track with his revision. Some young people need more help than others and I am not about to stand back and watch him flounder.

If your children are old enough to have their own teenage children things were clearly very different when they were teens. There is so much pressure on kids today, so much more than when I was a teen even, and that wasn't that long ago!

But clearly you were a much smugger better parent than those on here asking for help

What don't you understand about having unmotivated teenagers? Your unhelpful answers only serve to make their parents feel inadequate

I had teenagers lonerica, 4 of them, who did O and A Levels without their Dad or me organising their revision. 3 of those teenagers have gone on to have teenagers of their own who seem to have coped OK and organised themselves.

“Are young people now so clueless that they can't organise their own revision?”

That wasn’t a very helpful remark was it eddiemairswife
You either don’t have teenagers or have very motivated teenagers mature enough to understand the implications of their education or lack of.
Loads of 15/16 year olds who should be mature and motivated just aren’t. Loads of 17/18 year olds who should be revising for A levels lack motivation. Not everyone has perfect children like you clearly do

Bosswitch makes some very good points. I had to “help” DD with her GCSE revision, but it paid off very handsomely. She is now revising for A levels, and is more motivated than she was for GCSEs, but still needs the odd nudge and bribe to keep her motivated.

And if you have children who thrive with a bit of help why on earth would you set them up to fail just to satisfy some principle that they should be able to do it on their own?

With the demise of AS levels universities are increasingly looking at GCSE results. Some courses (medicine, vetmed) absolutely do take GCSE grades into account when selecting for interview.

I hope you find something that works for both of you. I used to say to DD that it wasn't just knowing and understanding the content, but walking into the exam room feeling confident. Good luck.

As above, I think you need to help him and, as much as it pains me, I would reward him (with very small things e.g. computer time, chocolate cake, cinema ticket) for each chunk he does.
I sat down and mapped out each subject onto a timetable. When it got nearer, I broke down the subjects into topics DD realised she HAD to revise rivers or whatever topic tomorrow or she would physically not have time to fit it all in.
I'd help him get the notes together in one easy place over the next few days and keep it structured. It is painful, frustrating and the opposite of all instincts but if it is what is needed to show him how to revise and get him doing it, I'd just do it.