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Original poster

'Hands Off' GCSE Mothers

103 replies

AlwaysHungryAlwaysTired · 15/03/2018 10:04

DS1 is taking GCSEs this summer and, while reading mumsnet posts and worrying internally that he is not doing what everyone else's DCs seems to be doing in terms of revision, extra-curricular activities and all round brilliance/dedication, I am more or less completely leaving him to get on with it himself. Which, at the moment, means he doesn't seem to be doing anything much study-wise outside of school hours.

Please tell me there are others out there doing the same? I can't take any more hearing that children have been revising for two hours a night since December!! Overall I trust that DS1 will be ok doing it alone, but have moments of doubt frequently that I am not involved enough. How do we know how much is the right amount to parent in these years when they are becoming adults?!

And how come DH never seems to worry about any of this?!

OP posts:
ToffeeUp · 15/03/2018 10:21

I am with you, we are leaving DS mostly to it. School is already putting enough pressure on him and he knows the importance of revising but in the end it is him who has to do it.

I recognise the moments of doubts but DS did quite well in his last mocks so he is doing something right.

TeenTimesTwo · 15/03/2018 10:18

I think these boards tend to attract more involved parents, and the hands off ones won't tend to visit here much. I had to be hands on with my DD1 due to her SpLD and DD2 is equally likely to need support.

If your DS
a) did well enough in his mocks (you can define 'well enough')
b) gets reports indicating he works well in school
c) doesn't need results that are a bit of a stretch for whatever he wants to do next
then you can possibly stay reasonably hands off.

At minimum I think you should have his exam timetable up somewhere visible and to have checked with him it contains all expected exams at the correct tier.

Don't organise holidays in the May half term.

And occasional asking how revision is going wouldn't harm.

I think some y11s are mature and independent enough to manage with little guidance, but others aren't. Hopefully you know your child and you are making the right call.

HappydaysArehere · 15/03/2018 10:16

He sounds just like my grandson. I think in general girls revise more and worry more. Can you just have the occasional chat about what he actually has to do? Then suggest it sounds as if he needs to set some time aside to get good results and not be disappointed. Does he enjoy the subjects? If they are subjects that you like or know something about it helps.