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Original poster

Advice please about dd and Maths

38 replies

Dancergirl · 12/03/2018 19:18

Dd is in Year 10 at a girls' grammar. She's not bad at Maths but in a high achieving school like this she thinks she is near the bottom.

They were supposed to be set for Maths this year but the school have decided not to this year, much to dd's disappointment. She was hoping for the bottom set which would entail a smaller group and hopefully a good teacher.

Dd has had poor mental health for a while, we are just waiting for an appointment to see a therapist. In the meantime, she is really stressed out about her work among other things, especially Maths.

In class, dd sits near the teacher's desk and apparently the teacher is on dd's back the whole time. Asking her if she's understood multiple times, has she done the homework and so on. Dd is made to feel as she's at the bottom of the class. This teacher also talks a lot about GCSE grades, she wants them all to get 9s. Dd would be very happy with a 7 or 8 but the teacher tells her to aim for a 9 even if dd thinks that is unrealistic.

Dd is really trying with her Maths and always does the homework. But sometimes she leaves questions out if she genuinely can't do it and the teacher tells her off about this. Dd says she is doing her best, she asks friends for help, she looks at online resources etc, she's certainly not resting on her laurels.

Last week dd missed a Maths lesson as she had her GCSE Drama devising performance for most of the day. She obviously missed work and now is struggling with the homework. She's dreading Maths tomorrow as she thinks she will get another telling off.

Dd doesn't want me to get involved but I'm finding it very hard to stand by and see dd's health and self-esteem go downhill.

OP posts:
be47 · 12/03/2018 21:36

I'm not a teacher but I would hope the aim of a good teacher would be to inspire enjoyment of the subject. Not to be in total dread of the next lesson.

Maybe in the days before performance related pay! But now if you want to keep your job and get a pay rise the results are all that matter sadly. The pressure's not just on for the kids anymore.

Original poster
Dancergirl · 12/03/2018 21:27

Thank you. She has had some private tuition in the past and I am going to contact the tutor again to arrange some more sessions.

I don't know. It just seems to be so results driven these days. I'm not a teacher but I would hope the aim of a good teacher would be to inspire enjoyment of the subject. Not to be in total dread of the next lesson. If you're worried and stressed you can't learn effectively can you?

OP posts:
HarveySchlumpfenburger · 12/03/2018 20:20

This sounds just like me at that age. Except that we were set.

How long is the wait to see a therapist? They might be able to help with some strategies.

If the maths teacher is approachable, I don’t think here’s any harm in saying she finds the constant attention difficult. Especially if she can ask for help if she needs it.

Unfortunately the thing about not answering questions is totally normal, although counterproductive. I don’t think there is a way round this one other than developing a coping strategy.

mineofuselessinformation · 12/03/2018 20:13

First of all, does she have access to online help (such as mymaths)? She could look at the online lessons there as they will walk her through the topic. Bitesize is also good, as well as Samlearning and PiXL.
Methodmaths is very good for online practise papers (the teacher can set it so the pupils get hints and it tells them what grade they're at and how many more marks to get to the next grade).
I know that's not the main thrust of your post, but it sounds like your dd could do with some resources she can call on for help.
I second what pp have said about contacting her teacher - if they're genuinely trying to support her by questioning whether she's understood, they might need to back off a bit. If not, and the school should know about her struggles, you may need to go via the head of maths or the special needs department.

Oblomov18 · 12/03/2018 20:11

Talk to the teacher.
Get a maths tutor. I know it's a lot of money, but after only a few lessons, it makes a HUGE difference.

AalyaSecura · 12/03/2018 20:10

I don't think you sound remotely precious! I'd be looking for clarification on exactly what the teacher wants your DD to do if, despite all her extra efforts, she isn't able to answer the homework questions.

TresDesolee · 12/03/2018 20:07

Can you talk to the teacher directly, see if you can explain more about what’s happening and how much pressure your daughter feels? The teacher might be happy to have the info and adapt the way she works with your dd a bit.

Don’t go in all guns blazing, just frame it as an information exchange. You might discover that the teacher thinks your daughter is doing fine and is surprised that she feels stressed.

Original poster
Dancergirl · 12/03/2018 20:03

Thank you. I am genuinely not one to get overly involved but dd is so down at the moment I feel I have to fight her corner a bit.

Is that usual then, for teachers to tell students off for leaving out a few questions in the homework although they have clearly tried their best? Dd is spending a LOT of time on Maths and is trying hard, but it seems whatever she does isn't enough for this teacher.

OP posts:
whampiece · 12/03/2018 19:56

I genuinely don't see anything wrong. The teacher is asking her often if she has understood because your DD struggles. I also see nothing wrong with encouraging kids to aim high.

You sound a bit precious tbh, your DD is one of many, she is getting teachers attention because she needs it, not to make her feel like she is bottom of the class.

I do sympathise with your DD and her mental health, but at the same time I can't see any reason for you to become involved here. If you want to help you could do as PP suggest and get on some websites to help her complete her homework. Placing blame on school here isn't the way to encourage her.

Original poster
Dancergirl · 12/03/2018 19:51

demented she DOES use BBC bitesize a lot plus other resources. My post is really not about that.

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 12/03/2018 19:45

That's why we look out up. Mathsisfun and BBC bitesize are helpful websites

Original poster
Dancergirl · 12/03/2018 19:43

demented I do try but it's a long time since I did Maths and a lot of it is beyond me.

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 12/03/2018 19:37

Do you or her dad help with the homework? I help if dd/ds are struggling and we look up how to do it