Moving from private prep to state secondary

Your post has worried me, I am sorry to hear that you had such a difficult time. As I said we are currently trying to decide what to do for our son. I am worried about this outcome.

Sorry to be the doom monger!

I moved from private to state. Honestly it changed my life. I was bullied and ridiculed all The way through secondary because of my history. Teachers didn't help by singling me out "oh buffering will know this with her background.. ." Cue whole class turning to stare.

I definitely feel I'd have been fine in either all the way through but switching was cruel. It has had a lifelong effect on me. I'm intelligent but naturally hide it out if fear of ridicule. I have awful self esteem. I wasted my secondary years hiding and trying to avoid lessons. Consequently my further education suffered and it has taken me years to get to even the first step of where I could have been starting out.

I had the option for my dc to go to private but didn't in case I couldn't afford it all the way through. Too much of a risk imo.

I moved my DD to a state school after being privately educated since Reception.

She has loved it, especially the larger year group from 48 in year 6 to now approx. 400 in the state school (year 8).

She is in top sets for all core subjects (English, Maths, Science), and the state school does also offer a wide range of after school clubs.

I personally prefer the state school, especially since they have been more open about my DD’s results and ability level - which is something I didn’t get from the previous 2 private schools she attended.

You have to look at the actual schools. You can have one idea in principle and the reality is very different.

You may look at the state school and suddenly the decision will be made - it may suit your son down to the ground, or it may not be right for him at all.

The same thing will go for the private schools. You say that you are (very sensibly) not prepared to hothouse him. It may therefore be the case that he may not get in anyway.

However, children change a lot at this age; he may hit his academic stride, get into the private secondary easily. Then you seem to be in the lucky position of choosing what school is right for your son.

Other thing to consider is whether he will get a place at the state. Round where we are the catchment areas are tiny. It was no use us deciding that we wanted our DCs to go to the lovely state secondary as there was no chance of us getting in.

We are also considering this for our son. He is in year 7 at a boarding prep school and has a conditional offer to a top boys boarding senior school. Unfortunately ,he has missed out on our local grammar school so he would have to attend a school which is considered very poor.

I am sure once he is there it won't be as bad as we expect . I am hopeful that they will be glad to have such an able boy.

I think you’re making a very sensible choice - don’t listen to the twits who think it’s money related.

I too went from private boarding school to local comp and utterly adored it. Despite everyone at boarding school leading me to believe I’d be eaten alive. Bollocks!!

My DS is at a SS state grammar and I reckon at least 30% of his cohort are from preps.

If it’s a good state school and you’ve visited and can see him fitting in there, I think it’s an excellent choice.

I did it with dd2, went from private country boarding prep to grammar school.
Best move ever... Bigger school, much more independence encouraged, as a family we were able to do so many things such as interesting travel... Hiked the Inca trail with her aged 12. As we had free cash as no school fees.
Nice balance of friendships, my dd certainly realised quickly what a privileged life she had!
Only downside is lack of sport, much less on curriculum. We filled that with more outside school stuff but meant much more ferrying about for us.
Also shorter holidays... But small price to pay.

I went from a private boarding school to a state secondary,and I loved it :)....I couldn't believe how 'so down to earth' everyone was. How I wasn't pushed to My absolute limits at each and every subject,just encouraged and given help,when needed. It was the best move for me personally when I was a kid.

I know lots of people who have done this, albeit mostly to state Grammars. I know there are prep educated children around here who go to the state secondary moderns at 11. I assume the parents cannot continue with Private fees.

However it’s perfectly possible and if you think DS would be happy, then go for it. No one is going to keep asking where he came from. Most children find their tribe and he would find his niche.

My DD1 went from state to Private at 11 and was the only one in that year who did. It didn’t matter because she fitted in. So judge the school on its merits and book some great holidays if you get a bit of spare cash!