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Secondary education

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Original poster

If you have one child at an independent and another at a state school

33 replies

Luna9 · 05/03/2018 08:07

How do you manage that? Do you give the child at state school other opportunities so he doesn't feel less.

My Oldest one is going to an independent for year 7; I don't think this school will be the right fit for the youngest one as she is not very academic nor interested in all the extracurricular activities, sports, etc. It is early days for her but at the moment she just want to have fun and says school is boring. I think she will be more suitable for the local comprehensive but don't want her to feel inferior.

OP posts:
Soursprout · 05/03/2018 09:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tiggytape · 05/03/2018 08:55

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Brokenbiscuit · 05/03/2018 08:32

It sounds like the younger one would probably benefit more from a private education. I don't think there is much point wasting money on a private school for a very bright and motivated child who would do well anywhere. I think there would be some benefits to investing in a child who needs more support and encouragement.

TroubledLitchen · 05/03/2018 08:32

Agree with Ritzy, the younger one sounds more in need of the private school. In short, stop labelling your younger child as less able and offer them the same opportunities the older one will get. Your current plan sets them for a lifetime of resentment.

Daisymay2 · 05/03/2018 08:30

Agree with Rita. Dd would probably benefit from a good independent school more than DS.
The wide choice of sports and extra curicular opportunities may encourage her at school and smaller classes can enhance her learning.
Many years ago I got a 100% scholarship to an independent school on the back of 11 plus results. My brother went to a secondary modern. We have both done fairly well but he would say that i am far more confident and outgoing. Probably not true but i seem to cover it better.

LIZS · 05/03/2018 08:27

Is there an alternative school better suited to dc2 interests and strengths, state or private? As long as they do not feel you defaulted to the local one it need not be an issue.

BarbarianMum · 05/03/2018 08:27

Ah just tell your younger one that she's not as bright as her sister (how old is this poor kids anyway, 7?) so you don't think she's worth the money. She'll understand. Hmm

Really OP? There isn't a single private school near you that could give your youngest a decent education?

RitzyRita · 05/03/2018 08:19

Why do you think local comprehensives are more suited to a child who doesn’t like school, finds it boring etc?

In your shoes I would possibly be reversing my decision wrt which child to send to independent school. Your younger sounds in need of more support or bespoke attention.

Anyway, to answer your q, in my family one went private, one Grammar, one comp. All came out with the same qualifications, but lingering traces of resentment remain. Any slight, temporary family friction involving the privately educated one is partially explained by ‘entitlement ‘ ‘oldest golden child ‘ etc. And it may partly be true.