Boarding sixth form for anorexic DD?

And I've just checked the contract for dd2s current private school (it's boarding, dd2 is one of a handful of day pupils) and it has the same caveat. Eating disorders, while being treated sensitively may be cause for dismissal - ie they do not want or need anorexics - it's quite brutal - I suspect because girls schools have bad reps for this and I think parents might kick up a fuss. I know that sounds horrible but as happygardening says these schools are not convalescent homes. Is there nowhere near where she could weekly board?

Flexi boarding would be better maybe starting off 1-2 night a week then increasing if it works but you’d have find one close enough or with good public transport links.

Boarders not boarded!

Most boarded don’t cook their own food beyond the odd bacon butty. Usually cooking facilities are very limited. All main are provided by the school either in communal dinning rooms or house dinning rooms cooked by chefs etc.

“She finds it difficult to up her calories goal”
“she’s not silly she’ll do enough to avoid suspicion and can be very deceptive”
At a residential course with adults at every table ... she hid good in bottles”.
I’m not being unkind but come on OP are you really considering boarding as an option? You know and I know youre not cured permantently of anorexia, at times of stress i.e. changing schools into an environment you know nothing about, routines, type of food pressure from A levels etc it rears it’s ugly head. Is your DD also addicted to exercise, sport is a bit part of boarding schools, 6th formers often have unsupervised access to gyms etc.
I’m sure you want the best for your DD but you have already admitted you know nothing about boarding, it is not a convalescence home with lessons attached, Im a great believer in boarding but nothing you have said makes me think it’s a good idea for your DD.

Some schools may be better than others but I went to a boarding school as a day pupil and anorexia was rife amongst the female boarders - competitive undereating was a major issue

I suspect state boarding school will have even less time. At DS2s school there was 1 teacher for every 7 boys all lived on site plus nurses residential matrons etc. I doubt they would agree to supervise a 6th former at every meal for the next 2 years.
Check out what sort of staff are in school based medical centres in both sectors. Schools with small numbers of boarders may not have qualified nurses etc available 24/7, on the other hand most schools have counsellors (although they may not specialise in eating disorders) and some even have schools have psychotherapists who visit regularly who may be able to offer some support.

As regards the Scottish system, I’d expect most schools to be okay with her being back by one year given it is health related, and then she’d have the advantage of the two years to do highers, plus being a year older when off to uni which could really help given that ED sometimes freezes emotional development. A Scottish private day school (as private even more likely to accede to being a year behind than state in general, as you are a customer) would definitely be my choice over boarding unless the home issues with DH are far more of a problem than the anorexia. What a tough call. The main thing is parental engagement with the ED though, so all your efforts on her behalf are a huge advantage to her.

State boarding schools won't break the bank.

*didn’t

OP - sorry, I siding mean to imply your DD would pass it on - more that anyone susceptible to an ED (in recovery etc like her) might find that boarding school life and others eating unhealthily would be more influenced than they might be if living at home. Most boarding schools do now have weekly or flexi boarding which might be a better option if necessary for checking on how she’s doing regularly and early on. In my experience EDs are less rife at co ed schools but still can be quite common in a boarding school environment.

I’ve known a few over the years who’ve been to Gordonstoun with varying degrees of success. The impression I’ve been given from even its most ardent admirers is that outstanding pastoral care is not one of it’s stregnths.
In many boarding schools 6th formers receive minimal supervision, in preparation for university. In fact 6th formers often supervise younger pupils including meal times.
I agree with Scipio; be wary of schools that claim they can supervise/monitor meals, never forget the majority of boarding schools are struggling to fill their vacancies (whatever their website/admissions depts say) and want and need you money.
I agree anorexia isn’t catching but as Im sure your very aware anorexics feed off each other and there may be others (known or unknown) in a school.

How far is she is in any diet rehab programs, will she eat without supervision or does she need encouragement. How long does it take her to eat? Does she spend hours chopping all the food up, eating tiny mouthfuls and chewing each mouthful for 10 mins? Does she hide food or come up with endless reasons why she can’t eat a ham sandwich. If yes how do you invisage this working. Most kids at boarding schools chuck the food down their necks and rush off to the an activity or prep or to go down the shops or whatever. Her friends unless they’re anorexic themselves are not going to regularly sit there for an hour whilst she picks her way through a portion of macaroni cheese and rice pudding. Teachers aren’t going to supervise this they don’t have time. And If she’s unhappy and this exacerbates the anorexia and she stops eating what will happen then? Will you remove her from school, most schools expect a terms notice you may have to pay even if she been removed. Where will she go to school then? Will it be the same exam boards etc?
Years ago I met this —bloody odd— interesting group of Home educators, their children were all autistic savants (physics and math) the children in this group had a history of going to top universities they didn’t do A levels but OU qualifications that might be an option for you?

OP, Have you considered your local FE colleges? They offer courses to get students into uni and I know from a friend who teaches at one that you can go straight into second year of a Scottish uni so equivalent to English qualification. Just a thought.

My dds old private school had a clause in the contract which said if you were found to have an eating disorder and refused treatment you would be expelled

Also do you think co-ed might work better than single sex, or vice-versa?

One approach it to draw up a list of possible schools, and then be open wit the registrars. This would give you an idea of how able a school feels about taking your daughter and how much they seem to understand the issues.

Also do any of the professionals who are working with her have any suggestions. Including schools to avoid.

Excellent advice from happygardening. I’m a teacher (have taught in day and boarding) and an ex-boarder myself. I wouldn’t recommend boarding unless you have no other option in this situation. We cannot provide the level of care which parents can (and I’d worry about a school which promised it could) and unfortunately anorexia can become ‘catching’ and intensified when you have many teenagers together. It really isn’t good as a parent not being able to see them daily as EDs tend to bring lying and manipulation and can be better hidden at school than at home (generally - of course there are exceptions such as if parents are travelling away a lot or uninvolved in their children’s lives - or even partially causing the ED - in those unusual cases a good school might be better).