Boarding sixth form for anorexic DD?

Can you give her more independence at home? In the 6th form could she buy her own food have her own cupboard shelf in the fridge like they do at uni and cook it without you getting overly involved just quietly overseeing? It does seem to me you would be moving her from one extreme to the other.

Ninon I’m perfectly aware of the figures for independent ed, I used to work in the boarding sector and I’m not denying ED’s exist there, I’m disputing the statement unfounded boarding schools are breeding grounds for anorexia” etc it’s just not that black and white if only it was.
OP your obviously trying to come up with a good viable solution, I don’t really understand Scottish ed and why it wouldn’t work for your DD and I’m not saying don’t send her to a boarding school but you need to be realistic about what your going to get and ask yourself will it be enough and could your DD relapse in this kind of environment? I do think you can’t catagirically say that your 98% sure she’ll be ok. You won’t know the other pupils in her house, how she’ll get in with them or the staff, she might find the pressure of A levels difficult many without EDs do, she may not like the food etc. Can you really check if she’s not loosing weight will she cooperate get on the scales does she load her pockets or will she load up with water if she’s not with you much of the time how will you know?

I'm finding this a very frustrating thread.

OP do you have any support at all? Someone to guide to to make the best decision?

OP how on earth could you be 98 per cent she wouldn't have to leave? How could anyone give that reassurance particularly throwing a mental health condition into the mix. I think you might need to take a less rigid more day by day view of this. Bottom line is your daughter is unwell so ideally she would be best placed at home and under your care surely?

How old is she now if she is taking gcse and highers next summer?

You can never be 98% sure of anything with an anorexic full stop.

This has been the case for a few months and she hasn't lost a significant amount of weight so I trust she's actually making and eating food

This is painfully naïve. With respect I think you need to get your head round the nature of what you're dealing with. A few months is nothing.

If she can do highers in a day school nearby why on earth don't you just aim for that. Two years of stability and managing her condition will stand her in much better stead for coping at uni than crashing out of boarding school, changing schools & having to resume intensive treatment.

In England you can only get funding up to age 19 for level 3 qualifications (A level, Btec etc) in state system. Psychology is a "hot" degree course at the moment so competitive to get a uni place and it is worth checking what typical entry requirements are. Some may require Maths A level for example, others may be less specific and accept other level 3 qualifications.

Can DH not stay in his flat and not visit if she is so frightened?

Boarding school plus eating disorder?

Very Bad Idea.

The other issue to consider is what would you do if it didn't work out and you had to remove her mid year. Courses are often not easily transferrable and she would potentially be faced with restarting the following year. Funding only allows for being one year out of sync. Does she need to take A levels for her uni course , would an extended level 3 Btec (3 A level equivalent) be an option?

Suesue I think it's completely ridiculous for a school to tell you it can cope with eating disorders and would keep the girls at school. Of course they are not qualified to deal with them. No boarding school worth its salt would want a girl with a known ED. The schools I am talking about are renowned for their pastoral care. That includes realising when a girl should no long be in a boarding school environment. If your dd is at a decent girls boarding school I'd be very surprised if it didn't have something similar in the small print.

I agree the girls are generally a type and often come from similiar backgrounds but the overwhelming majority are day and state educated.

Well of course they are - those make up the majority of schools. Only 7% of all schools are private and only a fraction of those are boarding. (There are of course a few state boarding schools like Cranbrook but not many).

I’ve known schools ask pupils with EDs to leave. If they are not eating, loosing loads of weight then as the school has a duty of care they cannot keep children in school. This is because as I keep saying they are a school not a thereputic setting the staff are not competent or trained to manage a the condition, many often don’t understand how to manage correctly, and it is complicated to manage, it requires massive input, it’s not just a matter of “eat your greens dear” (if only it was), it requires patients and diligence from school the staff because as the OP has said if you have an eating disorder you’re manipulative and deceitful. Frankly my heart sinks when I’m asked to get involved with one, it’s just not my type of thing, thankfully others love it. But in their very acute phase they are complicated to manage and require properly trained staff not enthusiastic amateurs.

I would be wary about going from homeschooling to boarding particularly in the circumstances. It is such a leap in independence for study and life that any anxiety may trigger a relapse.

@Scabbersley that’s why as a parent I asked very clear pastoral care questions before my DD was registered, and she doesn’t even have an ED. I just see it as indicative of how they deal with health (and mental health) issues as a school.

Sad that two schools you know of would ask girls to leave. I haven’t known a school recently where that has been the case though myself, but I can guess the type of girls school that would and they wouldn’t be my choice. I want my DD to go to a school that care deeply about their students and wouldn’t ask them to leave at the very moment when they need help and consistent care the most.

Some schools are very welcoming of all sorts of issues, as long as everyone (the staff, student and parents are on board with the same message and plan) and these are not necessarily the “non academic” schools either.

I can only speak as I found - one of my DDs went to an all-girls boarding school from age 11 to 6th form, when she then went to the local 6th form college. She did weekly boarding at the school until a bus service materialised.

This is a very famous chain of schools (Haberdashers) and the pastoral care was zilch. I blame them for her subsequent need to take anti-depressants for her anxiety. No-one noticed when she was in need of support, and her creativity was quashed.

So - I am biased - but I would not send a child with any sort of special need (including anorexia) to a school where I had no control over the pastoral care. And especially not a single sex one.

*similar. I doubt there are monkeys everywhere

Has anyone actually read my posts? Developing an ED is grounds for being asked to leave at two private schools I have had contact with so I am presuming it is simian elsewhere. They do NOT want it and do not have the skills to deal with it.

I think you must be feeling desperate OP to even be considering this. Full time boarding is stressful enough let alone after having been home educated for years and with an ED.