Boarding sixth form for anorexic DD?

You do not have to leave at 18! And you must have only just stayed teaching her the gcse course if no exam till 2019? Why not just switch over? Would also be easier if you need to get any outside tutors to use the system of the country you are in. I can understand you losing faith in the local school (all state schools are comprehensive btw except for faith schools) and obviously many people want to go private, but you will have more options in the local system even with private. If you are tied into paying for private school you will limit your options in terms of living alone too. OP you haven’t said your dh is very ill or unpleasant - you’ve said he scares your dd. You need to hear what you are saying.

Are you saying that there are no high schools within an hours drive of your home?

And You work in a school but don’t understand the age of pupils ?

I’m finding this a bit confusing.

I think Bootham in York possibly may have the pastoral input you're looking for but I would hazard the guess they have the same ED problems as any other school. I think she's better at home and your primary responsibility is to your child not your husband. If he is causing her emotional or physical harm you should protect your child and end the marriage.

If she’s not taking her GCSEs until 2019 why don’t you just send her to school now and she can go into 4th year ? She can sit N4 or N5 In 2018, whatever she can manage.

Then some N5 and highers in 5th year and highers or AH in 6th year.

Os even 3rd year ? Is she aged 15 and 2 months now ?

If shes two years away from GCSE and 4 years away from A level, I can’t understand why you are worrying now about making her indepdendent. Surely her health is the key issue ?

Am I missing something ?

Your DD would be one of the oldest in her year, but lots more would turn 18 between Christmas and June.

As I said before, it’s usual for children moving from the English system to be older than everyone else.

Surely you know this if your children was in a Scottish state school until recently?

Loads of kids turn 18 during 6th year ! Including every single child who deferred entry , so started school at 5.5 rather than 4.5.

Do you know that she could do 3 or 4 highers in 5th year, if you thought that 5 was too much for her? She can then do another 1-2 plus 1-2 AH in 6th year .

It’s really only medicine, Dentistry and vet med that need you to get all your highers in one go.

And her school reference would explain that she sat them over 2 years because of health problems .

It’s really not as complex as you think.

Only know Day primary at Dollar but the parents seem happy. Mary Erskine is girls only for 5th year, mixed for 6th. Small girls only boarding house, vast majority day pupils. Variety of full/weekly/flexi boarders.

You should go for a look. It’s not commiting you to anything, but you’ll get more of a feel for it.

I agree. How much does your husband prioritise you DD?

I’m really confused about your Dds education. If she’s currently studying for GCSEs then she’s the equivalent of 4th year is a Scottish High school. So she can sit her GCSEs May 2018 and then start 5th year in high school in August. In some schools she can start 5th in early June.

She would sit CFE Highers in 5th year in 2019 and more highers or advanced highers in 2020.

So she wouldn’t be going to University until September 2020, three years from now.

Given that she has been so unwell with such a serious illness, I think it’s too early to worry about what’s she might be cooking three years from now. I think that getting her well is more important that teaching independence.

Kids move from the English to the Scottish school system( and vice versa) all the time and cope fine. Children coming up from England are usually older than the others in their year but it’s no big deal.

There is also far more flexibility in placing children in the year that meets their educational needs, rather than by age as in England. Remember that many children have deferred entry so are often one full year older than others in their year group.

In summary, I think the educational issues are relatively straight forward and the school will be able to handle it and her transition.

Her health issues OTOH are a big deal, much more serious and potentially life changing if not life threatening .

I think you need to prioritise her health - keep her at home and send her to a good day school. There are many to choose from.

Boarding school is great for the right child. Nothing you have said makes me think that it’s right for your DD.

I'm sorry but this is a completely mad situation. You seem to minimise your DHs behaviour. How much if it is linked to your daughters ED?

I think you think you are doing right by everyone but you aren't. You need to protect your daughter and send your H away, not her. Your priorities are completely skewed.

if nearly all the students are full time boarders they socialise with other boarders. A day student would find it harder to break into existing friendship groups.

I’d consider flexi at a school near(ish)
If there’s a train link to you, I’d do that, home for weekends and flexi board on heavy extracurricular nights. Or weekly board if flexi worked out.

You are sending your vulnerable dd away instead of your dh who is scaring her? This is what it sounds like.
I don’t think you have had good educational advice (in rl). One year is all it is supposed to take to do a Higher, it’s not normal to take two years for them. You will have a local, catchment state secondary school - why would they not take her in S5? They would be obliged to!
I would prioritise: her health (which benefits by being at home), then her education (which you are making needlessly complicated) and your relationship last.

Can you temporarily swap accommodation with your DH? I know you said your other daughter likes to come home etc etc, but it seems she isn't the one struggling at the moment, so maybe the focus needs to be on your recovering daughter.

I'd also get more support (counsellor maybe) for you, OP. It's a lot to take on.

Is that only schools who do the English curriculum?

From experience schools which are primarily boarding aren’t great for day pupils, the days are very long and the timetable created for boarders. Merchie, Fettes and Loretto good examples of this.
St George’s according to gossip has a lot of girls with ED so I’d be hesitant about that. I’ve also heard directly from parents at St George’s and Watson’s about rushed mealtimes and not taking more than you can eat in a short time so I’d recommend asking a lot of questions if either of those are on your list.

There are always a chunk of children who by age should be in a higher year group so I wouldn’t be overly concerned about that if considering swapping to Scottish qualifications.