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Original poster

Can anyone help? What to do with a Year 13 who won't work?

34 replies

AtWitsEndwith6thformer · 20/09/2017 16:54

Hi there. Sorry that this is a long post but I'm hoping that some users may be able to give me some perspective and guidance. DS is my eldest and neither DH or I did 'A' levels so I feel out of my depth.

Background: DS has always been bright but unfocussed. Nice boy, teachers like him, knows his stuff when pushed but too chatty / not enough effort / rather be doing sport / can't be arsed. Eventually got 11GCSEs (3 A, 6 B, 2 C) in Year 11 through a combination of tutors, bribery, us putting our lives on hold and a bit of effort on his part.

Roll on Year 12... delighted he got in, teachers impressed with him... translated into no effort, bare minimum of work, hardly any revision for AS, resulting in D, D, D, E. Still met the requirement of 3 Ds for Year 13, but had to drop subject he really liked as only got E. He wasn't particularly bothered - just pleased that he got in to Year 13.

We are now 2 weeks in to Year 13.. he's already had detentions for being late - not handing in work or not handing in work that's hand enough effort etc. Its a very good school. Teachers are supportive and he's been put on a support / structure programme. I feel sorry for the school that they've got such a difficult pupil who is ignoring their efforts. I'm going in tomorrow to speak with them (at their request).

I have many questions, I suppose, but some are:

Is it possible to get reasonable A Level grades from 3 x D at AS? Is there any point in continuing if he can't?
Should I suggest he leaves school and does something else? College? Apprenticeship? Job?
Should I just leave him to fail (or thrive - small chance but who knows)

I know there's no magic answer but wondering if anyone could give me any guidance or suggestions... my instinct is to leave him to it, but it feels like too big a mistake to allow him to make :-(

Thanks for reading.

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · 20/09/2017 18:02

He didn't put the effort in at any point in Y12, why does he think he will in Y13? Now is when he needs to start putting the effort in as he has done badly in his AS's.

I think it's shit or get off the pot time. I was trying to think of how to put it more delicately, but couldn't think of a suitable expression!

Original poster
AtWitsEndwith6thformer · 20/09/2017 17:48

noblegiraffe.. when he got his results, he said something along the lines that meant "If I can get D's at AS Without working, A levels will be fine as I'll put the effort in at some point"...

His main fear was that he wouldn't get the Ds.. (due to lack of effort, not ability). when he did, he thought he was the bees knees.

OP posts:
Original poster
AtWitsEndwith6thformer · 20/09/2017 17:43

He doesn't want to go to university.. he says he doesn't enjoy education / studying (which is fair enough i suppose).

He doesn't have any real idea what he wants to do. I got him work experience in an industry that's reasonably interesting.. he enjoyed it but didn't love it.

He is an 'I'm gonna' type... full of ideas of what he's going to do (eg - 'gap year' in Australia, playing sport and doing bar work...)

OP posts:
Original poster
AtWitsEndwith6thformer · 20/09/2017 17:40

Thank you all. Jamie - honestly, if I didn't know better I'd say we have the same child..

He's doing History, Religious Studies and Business Studies.

OP posts:
JamieFraserskneewarmer · 20/09/2017 17:35

No advice but just to say that you aren't alone! I have a v bright year 13 DS with absolutely no inclination to put any work in, doesn't have any idea what he wants to do with his future, resisting looking at university/vocational training. Got his second detention of the term yesterday for homework not being up to standard. He has no interests apart from going out with friends, watching TV and going to parties - none of which really adds to his personal statement. I am at my wits end - all I can keep saying is that he needs to have a plan for next year and sitting on his @rse while I run myself ragged as the main wage earner is not an acceptable plan. This made interesting reading teens. I feel your pain Flowers

noblegiraffe · 20/09/2017 17:32

It's possible to improve grades but not by being a lazy arse. In my subject (maths) which is still decoupled, it would require resits and extra tuition.

What was he like when he got his results? If he shrugged and tried to pass them off as 'I didn't really try' and is now continuing in the same vein, it's probably a bit of a lost cause. If he was hoping for university, teachers will be predicting UCAS grades soon and they won't be predicting much (if any) higher than his AS results.

Is he coming to the meeting too? I think I would see his attitude in the meeting and then if not impressive, tell him he needs to find something else to do as you'll no longer be supporting him through his A-level studies as he's taking the piss?

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 20/09/2017 17:23

It's possible to improve grades, but would require a change of mindset and some very hard work. Does that seem likely at present?

Does he have a leaning towards any future career? It might be that 6th form and university are not for him, but he needs to have some idea of what interests him, especially after the efforts you have made.

Lily2007 · 20/09/2017 17:21

What does he want to do? Even if he doesn't know a rough idea would help you plan. Maybe discuss with the school what he's realistically capable of and what outcomes that could lead to.

I would be tempted to leave him put in the absence of a better plan though would anticipate similar A Level grades unless something dramatically shifts.

TeenTimesTwo · 20/09/2017 17:04

What does he want to do after college?
He won't get to university with no work ethic in y13 as resultant grades won't be any good.

Why does he say he's not working?
What does he do when not working?

He could, at a pinch, restart now at college and spend 2 years doing a Level3 BTEC, but you can't leave it too long to make the switch. And he would have to work to achieve the BTEC.

What A levels is he doing? We might be able to suggest a BTEC instead.