Sam Freedman wouldn't send his kids private

Twisted - I'm surprised you agree to work with children who are privately educated since you hate it so much.
Is there no way you could just work with state educated children?

I went to one of the 'top' private schools in the country and work with children, adolescents and families- in a way that means I am often involved with their schools, so see many different kinds of schools- and the different types of difficulties that tend to be more prevalent in different types of schools.

The said 'top school' that I went to for example, had many young girls struggling with eating disorders alongside their A*s.

My son's school had different difficulties. It was not an outstanding school according to ofsted, me or my son. It was in many ways struggling. Most of his middle class friends at primary, went privately at secondary.

There's an intersection between 'how you spend your money' and 'what you are saying about/doing to society when you spend your money'.

Spend your money on caviare, I'll think, well lucky you if you can afford it.
Spend your money on a golden toilet, I'll think, bit flashy and daft, but hey, it's your money.
Spend it on a hotel in Dubai, I'll think you're a bit of a dick. But hey, your money.
Spend it on a BMW X5, I'll think, that's a bit of a crap choice, environmentally (and aesthetically, for my tastes), and I bet you drive it like a tool, too, because everyone always seems to.
Spend it on private school, I'll think 'I really wish you wouldn't' - spend it on private school and go round saying you wouldn't touch the local state schools with a bargepole because the kids all chew gum and swear, and throw tables in the refectory, etc, and I'll think you're a bit of a dick.

Corbyn said he divorced his wife because she insisted on a grammar for their child and please correct me if I am wrong - their child did end up going to one didn't they!

I don't think Corbyn has ever said this directly. His wife said that her wish to send their child to a grammar contributed to their divorce. Presumably after the divorce she had custody and sent their child to the school of her choice. Unless he was prepared to murder his wife to gain custody himself I'm not exactly sure what you think he should have done to prevent this.

Whilst this point has been done to death opponents of grammar schools are not opposed to grammar schools themselves as being the source of all evil, they are opposed to a selective SYSTEM. Whether your child attends a grammar or a secondary modern they are still part of that system. You may as well argue that parents in a selective area are hypocrites for sending their child to a secondary modern if they are opposed to selection.

There's also plenty of posts on Mumsnet from people looking for an area of the country where their child can have a stab at the 11+ but still go to a good comprehensive if they fail. So you live somewhere like Thame in Oxfordshire to access the selective system that means most children in Bucks have to go to secondary moderns but you yourself are avoiding any bad consequences for your own children by positioning yourself in comprehensive Oxfordshire!! I don't blame parents for doing this - clearly exploiting county borders in this way is a perfectly sensible thing to do on an individual level. It just slightly annoys me that doing this never seems to raise any ethical issues for people, especially when people in Kent and Bucks who can't access comprehensives get criticised for not sending their kids to them.

Personally, I've always said I would like a law that says before you sit the 11+ you have to sign a paper saying if your child fails you have to send them to the nearest secondary modern. No hopping over a county border, no going private. If you support the selective system, you support the system fully and you go to the school that the system says is "right" for your child. It will never happen.

Could I ask Twisted what your involvement was with private schools please?

I went to a state school and did Ok but wasn't pushed. I looked at the state system when looking a primary schools. We also had the 11+ in our area )South Bucks) I still smile when I see people claim their child got into a grammar without any extra tutoring. Tutoring was rife!

"The relevance is that some on this thread are telling people how to spend their money."
I'm not. I'm talking about the sort of education system I want and the sort of society I want to live in. It is a matter of supreme indifference to me where people spend their holidays.

Because I believe private education is a bad thing, and among all the unfairness and inequity, schooling should be fair, I would, naturally -

Ban parents reading to their children.
Make all parents have protracted and unpleasant divorces early in their children's lives.
Ban every product that's better than another, and make everything be sold in grey packaging, and we'd all drive the same car, and go on the same holiday.
Make everyone feed their children nuggets every day

But also, buy a ££££ mansion in the catchment of a leafy comp and be very happy that state provision can be unequal across the country.

Of course I would - that's the only possible logic for anyone who has a belief about anything at all based on their personal principles!

But if I could-then yes, I would want to tackle other forms of inequality too, primarily through increased taxation.

Hillingdon- I have unfortunately done considerably more then step foot into many private schools. My DS, however never has and he has now finished school.

As I said, although children's lives will be unfairly impacted on due to their parent's wealth or poverty in all kinds of ways- other choices do not necessitate the absolute segregation of children due to wealth or poverty in the way that private education does.

The relevance is that some on this thread are telling people how to spend their money. If I had the confidence in the state system of course I would use it but I don't.

We could have had the expensive education or the business class flights/hotels. Sadly we couldn't have both - apart from one instance where we were upgraded for free - it was fab but really not worth the £££'s people pay for it. Having said that I have someone I work with who does a admin type role. doesn't earn huge amounts.He goes on holiday once a year and wont go unless he can go Club class. For him its a very important part of the holiday and with no children why shouldn't he!

Twisted - would you ban business class flights or luxury hotels because not everyone can afford them. "
Can you explain how this is even remotely relevant?

Is that his mum interjecting early on?

Twisted - would you ban business class flights or luxury hotels because not everyone can afford them. I honestly don't think you have set foot in a private school. I went to a rubbish state sec modern.

My children go/went to a fab private boarding school and now we are nearly at the end of their education I could not have wished for a better experience for them. They are confident articulate young men who don't live in a bubble and who absolutely live in the real world. Any indictation that they started taking this for granted would be smacked right down by DH and myself.

Its not been easy, both of us work full time, and of course there are tons of things we could have spent our money on but I don't regret a minute of it.

Have you seen the prices of houses in top comprehensive catchment areas? Unless you want to live in a socialist mess then surely what one spends on schooling, housing cars, clothes, evenings out is nothing to do with anyone else.

Dumbledore is right. He will get a fab education. He will live in the right place, and be part of the correct catchment area. Time and time again these liberal lefties bleat about being equal etc but then its revealed that they actually go to a selective state school, grammar school or private school.

There used to be someone on MN's who bereated grammar schools but sent her first child to one. I think she was only complaining because her second didn't pass the 11+. Was it Seeker?? Or am I going mad!

Most of the previous Labour PM's such as Wilson and Callaghan used the private system. Corbyn said he divorced his wife because she insisted on a grammar for their child and please correct me if I am wrong - their child did end up going to one didn't they!

And of course the biggest fibber of all Diane Abbott. Had a big issue with the private sector and then send her son to one.

Good on him.

There is a difference between allowing your children to have privileges that others (unfairly don't) such as holidays or even adequate food and housing etc and actively contributing to the social segregation of children based on wealth. I think this is one of the most damaging things in our society currently and if I could I would ban private schools in a heartbeat.

Yes there is still unfairness within the state sector with rich parents moving near the more desired schools, but usually these schools will still be much more economically and class mixed than private schools.

I cannot see any ethical argument for allowing children to be segregated in the way that are currently. For those who think that London schools are so different, in many London boroughs with extremes of rich and poor, the state secondaries have very few of the rich (or even middle class) children, as their parents often won't set foot near the local comp, let alone let their child near it.

You'd send a child to Hill House in the face of its recent OFSTED?

I have known both Hill House and Holland Park parents. I would choose the former. Really from a belief that 'happy children learn' . HP has a reputation for being quite rigid.

"our so called outstanding (boot camp style) local comp"

Tell us more?

The paragraph in the Hill House Ofsted report concerning no-one having a clue about fire safety would put me off a bit.....

the hill house certainly looks amazing from the website and better than our so called outstanding (boot camp style) local comp.

It's strange how a bad state school condemns the entire sector while a bad private school is a one off.......

Sorry, forgot to pose link to document.

www.royallatin.org/images/YearSevenCNW/RLSKS3CurriculumOverview201618.pdf

Ofsted certsinly can be wrong, particularly when it comes to policies that don't make much sense for a particular cohort are not flexible.

My DD's 11 to 16 school missed outstanding due to refusing to implement various registration policies.

It was one of the best schools I've ever experienced ( and I've experienced quite a few). The wonders they worked with an academically mixed cohort was miraculous.