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Original poster

Tricky expat choices - 11+ Year 7 entry boarding vs Year 9 day school (academic)

64 replies

userOMG · 23/06/2017 05:09

Would appreciate any input on this conundrum, scenarios, and thoughts on specific schools that might work well. We are Brits living in USA and we are planning to return to UK within a 2 - 3 year timeframe. DD is 10 yrs and DS is 8 yrs. DD is academic, a top student in her year group.

We are wrestling with 2 possible options for DD:

  1. Maintaining status quo and keeping DD in US school and then 'hoping' we can find a space at a good private academic school (Day school) on our return (at 12 or 13 years old) when she would have missed the 11+ entry.
  1. Entering DD for the 11+ admissions process remotely for Sept 2018 entry to a private boarding school and then have her board for the first year, possibly 2, which is not our preference but ensures she has a place at a good academic school on our return. (Revert to day or weekly board or return)

Trying to work out if first option will work or will fail to secure good school place at 13. Trying to work out if boarding for a year at 11 is doable or just too difficult. We are flexible on location within West London out to Home Countries in Surrey (possibly Berks/Bucks). Need to be able to commute to London on return (and assume new location will be the new school area). Any specific school suggestions also helpful (DD is academic, arts & theatre, fitness & gymnastics not team sports, confident)

Any constructive thoughts would be great. Or maybe we are missing a better option but these are the 2 obvious choices we are considering. TIA...

OP posts:
Original poster
userOMG · 23/06/2017 07:43

Definitely not decided to go w 11+ boarding. I'm not sure we could actually deal with the emotional side of parting w her, and it would affect her younger brother as well. Pretty torn between the 2 options, just gathering some alternative voices.

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SoupDragon · 23/06/2017 07:38

I don't think starting at a different age would be a problem if it is as a Y9 student as part of thenormal admissions programme. The school DD is going to in September (girls only, south London) has a specific Y9 entry point. That was the only one I checked.

newbian · 23/06/2017 07:36

Seems like you've pretty much decided to go with 11+ boarding then!

Original poster
userOMG · 23/06/2017 07:31

In some ways Im surprised its a significant worry for her (not starting at same age) and was surprised she made that the important factor. In the areas of USA we live there are lots of international kids coming and going, plus parents change schools willy nilly all the time, as a result there is a real culture of including new kids from the off that is astounding to see as a Brit. They talk about 'filling buckets, not emptying them', not 'popping bubbles' and so on. Its cringetastically effective at integration. Maybe UK schools have got better at this, maybe not...

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Original poster
userOMG · 23/06/2017 07:24

Re the comments about leveling, yes there are differences, but I think DD can match or beat in Maths (anecdotally a boy just arrived from UK in her class and was further behind and she has tried the UK papers and got most of it). English need to evaluate UK past papers still but she is reportedly above her grade level. If there was an expectation of Languages we would have a problem though, it doesnt exist :-0.

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FinallyHere · 23/06/2017 07:23

Hurrah. I'm very impressed to read that your DD has already worked out that being there from the start would be important. It never occurred to me at that age, but then I had only been to international schools, which had really been geared up for the constant joining/leaving of expat children. Public school in England, at least, values different things.

AnotherNewt · 23/06/2017 07:21

Schools that state that they have a 13+ entry will have places then, and will already be taking registrations for that entry point. They won't just cancel it, and they won't necessarily have either the space or the inclination to expand their years 7and 8 to the same size as their year 9

There are girls schools which have 13+ entry points, not much point is posting lists of school names as info readily available from guides/websites. But if they are not the schools you are interested in, then it doesn't really matter if there are many or few.

Original poster
userOMG · 23/06/2017 07:14

Re DD opinion, she actually surprised us and said she was keen to go at 11+, even if boarding, after asking a lot of questions, as she wanted to start when the other girls start as thought it would be hard joining later...

OP posts:
Original poster
userOMG · 23/06/2017 07:12

Its interesting that our main thought on the social / emotional side is the impact of boarding at 11+, when the problems could actually be joining at 13 when friends are already made. Our main concern for the 13+ entry timeframe was that there would be no academic places available...

Re day schools, as far as Im aware there are not many girls only (our preference) academic day schools with significant Yr 9 entry. Plse tell me if anyone knows otherwise.

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newbian · 23/06/2017 07:03

A friend I grew up with went through the same thing (I'm American). Her family was planning to relocate back to the UK when she was around 13/14 years old. They sent her to boarding school in England for secondary and the rest of her family remained in the US for several more years. She had a very hard time adjusting and was very unhappy to be perfectly honest. She felt a lot of pressure to "fit in" in the boarding school and was teased for having an American accent etc. Things improved when her family went back but it was very hard on her.

I would think carefully about the non-academic aspects for your daughter. I know culturally in the UK it's normal to board at 11/12 years old but it's quite young and especially at that distance - is it truly necessary?

I'd also ask what type of school in the US your daughter attends, it is an academic school? Public or private?

RedSandYellowSand · 23/06/2017 06:53

Are there any schools in that area with 13+ entry papers?

Also, and I don't know about this. Is top of the year in US upper primary transferable to an accademic UK school? Certainly in the lower Primary/elementary years, the British Curriculum is ahead of the US ime. Probably because the UK starts reading earlier, but I don't know where the two systems equalise.

AnotherNewt · 23/06/2017 06:52

Are there really no day schools you like the look of which have a year 9 entry?

if the only schools you like are 11+ or ad hoc places only, thnn yes, you have to decide on your attitude towards risk (of not getting a place)

But the crucial factor has to be what your DD thinks of the prospect of boarding and at such a distance from the rest of you.

theancientmarinader · 23/06/2017 06:26

We have always kept the kids with us, and it has worked out fine. Bright kids will do well wherever they are. Dd1 is off to university in September with plenty of good offers, and all three have gained immeasurably by experiencing different school systems. She has decided to go to university where we are now, rather than in the UK. My friends daughter just returned to Uk for A levels and is a day pupil at her mum's old school. Her sister returned at the same time and is a day pupil starting y9. Most things will work out with smart kids and a stable home environment. There isn't really a right and wrong.

FinallyHere · 23/06/2017 06:09

Just based on my own experience, where my parents were abroad and sent me to school 'later', please be aware of the social impacts on a girl who turns up 'late' when all the other friendship groups have already formed. It took me a week or two to notice, that everyone else already had a 'friend' and there was no one left for me, sounds pathetic just writing that and I went on to get friendly with some others but i never really had a 'best friend' til the sixth form, when groups were mixed up and there was new intake.

Arriving 'late' I also missed lots of information about which 'corridors' i was allowed to use and which were sixth form only. I only found out by transgressing the rules, which again didn't make me any more popular.

It may be different nowadays, and the schools may be much more geared up to different intake years.

Please at least ask the school what arrangements they make for intake at different years and what numbers they have at each point, being the only 'new girl' in a whole year was no fun at all.

The rest of school, being much more independent from my parents, was brilliant. I loved travelling by myself, still do. All the best for your DD.