Tricky expat choices - 11+ Year 7 entry boarding vs Year 9 day school (academic)

Needmoresleep there is always a risk of not settling especially if there is a possibility of MH issues including a latent eating disorder. I agree that I would worry about such a distance as a parent b
Parents are closest to their DCs no question, however the house staff are also well placed to help a DC's self esteem and confidence as they observe them in the school social situation, have more experience of dealing with all the issues that crop up with groups of teenagers than most parents and are well placed to effect change in the social dynamics at school when needed.
It is a team effort between house staff and parents.

sendsummer, I am not saying there are problems for everyone. However knowing three from a relatively small number of nice straightforward girls from affluent London families, who had problems (not just friendship, eating was another issue) suggests there is a risk that a child might not settle. A risk that may well be worth taking if you are in a position to monitor and step in quickly, but more difficult from 3,000 miles away.

I would also argue that parents are usually better placed to parent their daughters. And that it is often not simply a case of "stepping in" over friendship issues but supporting a child's self esteem and confidence at home and helping them see any problems at school in perspective.

UserOMG
Consider Sevenoaks year 9 entry as entry test is year 7 and does not require science or MFL. www.sevenoaksschool.org/admissions/entry-at-13/introduction/
It is a very academic co-Ed IB school and also has weekly boarding if Sevenoaks is too far out of London for you.

Along the same lines for admissions would be Brighton College, main admissions is year 9, pre test year 6 and will adjust CE requirements if not from a CE school. It would be a fall back weekly boarding option.
www.brightoncollege.org.uk/admissions/the-college-13plus/

I would n't paint such a gloomy picture as Needmoresleep for years 7-8 full boarding for girls re friendship issues requiring withdrawal. I know a fair number of girls who were full boarders at that age and had a very good time with no long lived friendship dramas. In fact most full boarding house house mistress and teams are in a better position than parents and day schools to intervene appropriately (although if the friendship pool is small that does make it harder when very unlucky with the peer group).

However I don't see the point of your DD making such an adjustment from as far away California if you will be returning for year 9 and would prefer day schools or weekly boarding.

Even the most academic schools will have occasional places even if they don't have an official 13+ entry point so I wouldn't necessarily rule out somewhere like G&L. A friend's dd joined LEH in Y10 (having not even been invited for interview at 11+) and has just got a scholarship going into sixth form. At my dc's school, which is massively oversubscribed at 11+, they've had a couple of new children join each year on top of the small 13+ contingent. There really are many more options than the general school entry hysteria would have you believe especially if your dd is bright

UserOMG you're in California? Definitely no. I went to college in CA and grew up in NY and that was a challenge, I was 18! Surely there are tutors that can help you daughter fill any gaps in science etc. between 11 and 13?

It's not academic but Notre Dame girls school in Cobham let's you defer until 13. There are a couple of large mixed Prep schools in the Cobham/Esher area who want the girls to stay until 13 so they work to make sure girls can get a place at 11 and move at 13 without taking CE.

Look at St Catherine's, Bramley, Surey, Tormead, Guildford, Surrey or Queenswood, Herts - all girls schools all very good. Co-ed options for an academic girl could be Kings Canterbury; Oundle, Peterborough; Framlingham School, Suffolk.

Or apply for a place at 11+
then your plans to return can change.
I think you're then much more likely to be accepted quickly without a further exam sometime before yr9.

Guildford High School (very academic girls' school) will consider families relocating to the area outside of normal admissions times;
www.guildfordhigh.surrey.sch.uk/joiningghs

St John's Leatherhead is not known to be particularly academic and probably caters for 'average and above'.

Much more academic are co-ed schools such as:

City of London Freemen's School (Ashtead - just up the road from Leatherhead) www.freemens.org/apply - pre-tests in Year 6 or 7 for Year 9 entry, plus other entry points. Freemen's also has a junior school from Year 3.

Reigate Grammar School;
www.reigategrammar.org/admissions/entry-at-13/

Perhaps also look at somewhere like Sevenoaks School (Kent but Sevenoaks is an easy commute to London);
www.sevenoaksschool.org/home/

If you do not mind losing your deposit, there's nothing to stop you from securing a Year 9 deferred place at one school, then applying for an ad hoc place at other schools nearer the time.

Speak to the schools about what they might require for an occasional place at 13+ and they may not be required to offer a language. (And even if they did it could probably be Spanish.)

At the earliest schools will start GCSE syllabus at 13. If there may be gaps, say in science, I would take a look at Galore Parks 'so you really want to learn....' series. They follow the CE syllabus and are, in part, designed for home teaching. If your daughter is bright she may enjoy the more.

Do not rule out the more academic schools. They will have some places, especially Latymer Upper, which has a prep so loses some to boarding at 13+.

Consider KGS, but also the GDSTs, Ibstock, Harrodian, Emanuel (which takes several at 13+) and the Dulwich schools. Firing off a detailed email a year before you get back will give a sense of which are worth trying for. You will get somewhere and most London Private schools are good. I am always surprised when I hear people talk about a school 'only' being 50th in National league tables.

If you are looking towards the US for University you might need to think again for sixth form, but that is another bridge for another time.

(And even now I shudder when I think back to the age 10-13 friendship issues. Pre-teen girls can be beastly. They calm down and turn into lovely engaging young women, but of all the years of my daughter's childhood these are the ones when she needed me most.)

My DD boarded from 8 firstly at a co ed prep with her DB and then at an all girls boarding school. Like happy gardening we are a close family who have lived overseas and our DC enjoyed their boarding experience.
By the way Kate Middleton was a day girl at Downe House, not a boarder. A strange choice as only a very few day girls.
OP I would second a pp comments about looking at windlesham house if you decide on a boarding prep.

Happy Gardening may say "Lots of girls boarding at DS2's prep I thought they seemed as happy as most of he boys. The girls had super house parents and lived in a separate girls only house, I never saw it but everyone said it was really nice and with a very happy atmosphere. " but it is rather second hand.

My own experience is that girls between the ages of 10 and 13 can be very tricky, and socially Yrs 7 & 8 are tough.

They get through it, but my experience, albeit of a girl that did not board, was that a lot of parental hand-holding was needed. "super house parents" are not necessarily a substitute.

My earlier post was unclear. We knew relatively few girls who went to board aged 11 but of that small number, 3 returned within a term or two because they were so unhappy. And these were normal straight forward and happy girls who were not thousands of miles away. (Think Kate Middleton who had to be moved from Downe House.)

I would be very cautious. There is a reason why many London girls delay boarding till they are 13. Plus there is no reason to do it, as there will be suitable places, day or boarding, at 13+ for a bright girl.

(And a reason, albeit a different one, why many then apply to London sixth forms.)

I really wouldn't send an 11 year old thousands of miles away from her family just to secure a school place.

I realise that boarding now is very different, but my dh was sent to boarding school aged 11 when his parents moved abroad. He was desperately unhappy, especially as almost everyone else went home for half term and he had to stay in school. He did go to his parents for the longer holidays and occasionally his mother would come to the UK for half term. Thirty years on, he now has very little contact with his parents as he's never really forgiven them.

I appreciate that not everyone has a negative experience of boarding, and that you will be able to Skype etc to keep in touch, but it will be hard on your dd. Especially if there are friendship issues, which there often are at that age.

A third option for OP would be a rigorous traditional junior boarding schoo in the United States.. Most of those are in the Northeast. Her daughter could be well prepared closer to home.

Newbian- There are very good and quite dire private schools in the States. Middle school is miserable, full of queen bees and bad behavior. Even some very good school districts have poor junior highs. It's two or three years of betwixt and between.

Ericaequites if OP is considering sending her daughter to boarding school in the UK I suspect she can afford either to live in a top public school district or send her child to private school in the US.

The way you describe it I wonder how I survived growing up in America

"Happy Gardening is a strong advocate, but she does not have girls, and certainly our observation is that girls, particularly during the tricky 11-13 years can be very different."
Lots of girls boarding at DS2's prep I thought they seemed as happy as most of he boys. The girls had super house parents and lived in a sepeate girls only house, I never saw it but everyone said it was really nice and with a very happy atmosphere. It very much depends on the school, the staff the other pupils and the individual child's personality..

As a parent having DCs in London day schools I am also shocked at the amount of movement in senior school in the early years. It isn't only expat families in London returning home but also local families moving abroad. You also see a lot of movement from single sex to co-ed or visa versa because it didn't work out, kids get off to a bad start and move to start afresh and an incredible number get moved to specialist drama schools because that is their passion!

I don't know why anyone bothers with 11+, there are places everywhere in later years.

American state junior highs for grades 6-8 or 7-9 are dire. They are rife with bullying. Often, there is no setting or streaming. Quality MFL instruction is difficult to find. Children receive heavy political indoctrination, and not enough factual learning.
If you choose to keep your daughter in the States with you, there are many good girls' private day and boarding schools which will keep her gaining academically. Many Catholic schools offer excellent value for money.
What sort of school does your daughter attend now?

And the same boarding schools will probably still have places at 13, so if she really did not get anything in London she could weekly board at St Cats, Epsom etc from 13.

OP, be careful about boarding at 11. Happy Gardening is a strong advocate, but she does not have girls, and certainly our observation is that girls, particularly during the tricky 11-13 years can be very different.

Of the relatively few girls that started boarding early, three had to be pulled out after a term or two because they were deeply unhappy. Nice girls from straightforward families, who went on to settle elsewhere. And whose families were not too far away when they started experiencing problems.

Really if your daughter is bright, schools will want to have her. (Caveat, obviously, as if they don't have places they won't. Also look at co-eds as they may have lost girls to boarding but be picking up boys from preps so will want to keep their numbers even.) And for bright kids, London's selective schools can be great fun, challenging and interesting. Returning from the States will be tough enough. Do it as a family rather than send her over early.

UserOMG if your dd is bright enough to get into SPGS then I am sure there will be plenty of London day schools delighted to offer her a place at 13+. These may be further down the league table, still excellent, but don't come with.bragging rights like the ones you listed. The GDST through schools seem to lose girls to boarding at 13+ which creates some movement and she wouldn't be the only one joining.

To me it seems a very drastic solution to send an 11 year old to another country for 2 years because of concerns about getting a school place. These years can be very difficult emotionally for girls and friendship issues are very common. There have been threads on here about the struggles of Y7 for dds, and I have seen this for myself. I would not have wanted my dd not to be able to come home to the support and love of her family when she has had a difficult day at school. Joining at the same time as everyone else is no guarantee of an easy time.

When I say for the duration, I mean at least until sixth form (when a move to a day co-ed sixth from a girls' boarding school does seem a natural transition point for quite a few)

UserOMG I agree with a PP that you have to consider the possibility that once your DD has made the adjustment of being a full boarder for 2 years then it is very likely that she won't want to revert to being a day pupil, unless she is one of those very few who never settle or the school is not really a boarding school in which case as an 11 year old she would have at best a pretty underwhelming 2 years not worth moving her. I can honestly say that over the years that when I have quizzed happy full boarders about whether they would want to become day pupils,if it were possible at the same school, they invariably regard the idea as a retrograde step both socially and for the independence they have become accustomed to.
I think you have to make the decision of whether to go with boarding for the duration but potentially somewhere like Wycombe Abbey where the Londoners can go home a lot at weekends, or hold on for the occasional day place at 13 in London schools with the fallback of weekly boarding at 13.