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Original poster

School's approach to UCAS - is this typical?

190 replies

GrumpyOldBag · 28/04/2017 14:03

DS is in his last term at a well regarded independent school. We have generally been very happy with it, and he is happy there too.

However, the whole University Application process has been a bit of a mess and I am interested to know if this is typical.

Last year we were given no info by the school about Uni Open Days until the start of the Autumn term, so missed most of them last summer and had to catch up over half-term in October. I only became aware of the process through friends with kids at other schools talking about the visit they'd booked. (I've noticed they've now become more proactive about this though, so that's good)

The school was very slow to "sign-off" DS's UCAS form (review & check personal statement, that his choices were appropriate , etc) which culminated in my having to phone the teacher responsible on the last day of the deadline to chase it up - this after having sent several chaser emails in the preceding days/weeks. It was submitted it on the very last day of the deadline, although DS had done his personal statement & made his choices weeks before.

Going through the same process now to get DS to submit his offer acceptance & the deadline is next week! He made his decisions ages ago, but hasn't done it yet, and the school does not seem to be putting any pressure on him. Again, I am the one who is having to do all the chasing.

Now I accept that DS is 18 and an adult and needs to take responsibility himself. However, I also expect the school to have a process for ensuring these important things get done in a timely manner too. And DS has some special needs which mean he is not good at organising and managing himself like this - so I would expect some extra support from the school. Especially as we're paying a lot of money.

But maybe I have unrealistic expectations about this, and am prepared to be told I am?

OP posts:
bojorojo · 28/04/2017 17:56

Honestly Grumpy!!! Neither were open days a thing in many parents' days but you get clued up. No-one asked my DDs if they had sorted it out. Surely you could have looked on the web sites of some universities and seen the open day adverts? If you were interested in Oxford, why did you not look into how and when to apply for an open day? At school my DDs talked to their friends about which universities they were going to visit. He must have known what others were doing but decided not to bother. Did you not have any guide to the 6th form when he started? Is it online?

Bertrand is wrong and she hasn't had children at independent school. Handholding really is not what you pay for! The opposite really. I paid for a broad education, confidence, and independence! I expect my children to think for themselves. The state schools mollycoddle so much more. Top Independent schools usually have a different culture and high expectations of the individual. I can't see the girls at St Pauls or Wycombe Abbey not knowing about open days! Who would leave them for a comp?

BertrandRussell · 28/04/2017 17:52

"I think that it is parents' responsibility to sort out Open Day visits."

Why? Private schools provide a service. If that service isn't up to scratch you should complain.

Original poster
GrumpyOldBag · 28/04/2017 17:40

I just don't think we should be expected to know this stuff automatically and the school should offer a bit of guidance. Especially if you are paying.

OP posts:
Original poster
GrumpyOldBag · 28/04/2017 17:39

Yes, BoboChic, I accept it's my/our responsibility to organise the visits.

But I can't do that if I don't know I'm supposed to do it - the point is we had no communication from the school saying "Open days take place after the exams in the Summer Term & you need to book in advance for the most popular ones."

Hence we missed most of them. Open days weren't a thing in my day.

OP posts:
BoboChic · 28/04/2017 17:20

I think that it is parents' responsibility to sort out Open Day visits.

Original poster
GrumpyOldBag · 28/04/2017 16:44

Thanks BertrandRussell that is what I mean!!

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Original poster
GrumpyOldBag · 28/04/2017 16:43

Exactly SheilaHammond! I have done so out of necessity.

But I think that the school should also take responsibility too. I am glad the state sector seems to do better on this than the private sector, and wonder why I'm bothering to pay.

I think DS will be fine at Uni. he is quite capable of being organised if he wants to - for example he can organise a 6-hour train journey requiring 3 different changes halfway across the country to see his football team play. But as he has mild Aspergers he can only really focus on one thing at a time.

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 28/04/2017 16:42

If I was paying mega bucks in fees, this is exactly the sort of thing I would think I was paying for.

SheilaHammond · 28/04/2017 16:39

WIthout being too harsh Grumpy, regardless of what you are paying or not, it's part of your role as the parent to get clued up on this stuff. I wouldn't expect the school to sort it for me, or tell me what to do.

Having said that, my DC went to very good state schools and there was a lot of advice and support, if parents required it. But the school were pro-active and organised about everything so we were lucky.

I think that it bears out for me that at sixth form particularly you aren't necessarily getting anything extra from the independent system. Lots of DC round here leave private for state at 16, as the provision is better.

Agree with PP that if your DS is struggling with this level of independence, all the more reason for you to get organised, and/or consider whether he is ready for that step.

The info you require is quite easily available on line from the UCAS website (there is a parents' section, I think).

Original poster
GrumpyOldBag · 28/04/2017 16:38

DS has made his own decisions about which offers to accept.

The school's advice was on ensuring he had a good breadth on the initial 5 choices - that they weren't all pitched too high or low. In the end he got 4 offers.

And yes, he doesn't tell us everything he gets told at school - and that's one of the issues. I think they need to communicate some of this stuff to parents too.
And I get that he needs to show independence and maturity, but not all students are the same, he finds some of this challenging and I think the school should be looking out for them on this.

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Whynotnowbaby · 28/04/2017 16:32

The UCAS deadline is actually in January so whilst it's not good he was kept dangling for ages, it was not submitted on the last possible day either. Regarding which to accept. I would only (as head of sixth form) expect to discuss this further if a student approached me for advice. Once they've made their initial six choices and received their offers it is really up to them what they choose to do (and UCAS send chaser emails if the deadlines are looming).

Your son's comment about the Oxford trip implies to me that he did get some input in school but didn't tell you about it. We have a parents' evening but many schools will take the view that going to uni is for the student to manage themself and that this is part of gaining the maturity and independence needed to get on once they get there.

Beelzebop · 28/04/2017 16:29

I have always worked in the state sector and have found the sixth forms very on the ball when it comes to UCAS. Makes sense as a top factor in league tables is % going to Uni.

Original poster
GrumpyOldBag · 28/04/2017 16:22

Personal statement was all done on time in November, but had to chase & chase the school to get it all approved so the UCAS form could be submitted literally on the last day of the Autumn term.

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Original poster
GrumpyOldBag · 28/04/2017 16:15

Thanks bojoro

I wasn't expecting to be spoonfed dates of Open Days, and we worked it all out together with ds, but the school didn't even brief the parents that Open Days happened in June after exams! No one went to Open Days in my day, so didn't really know it was a thing and I think the school should have briefed us. DS did eventually mention that his friends were going to open days so DH & I took the day off work to take DS to the Oxford Open day (the only one we managed to get to in the Summer) and when we were there DS mentioned the school had organised a trip that week for interested pupils that he could have gone on! But by then we'd missed most of the others and had to go in October.

The school has given us no timetables or expectations - I have had to do it all myself either via google or asking DS - who can be quite vague and who's mantra is "Stop Worrying".

DS has also made all the decisions for himself on which offers to accept - and I know it is up to him to press the buttons, and it's easy, but my point is that no-one at the school seems to be checking it's being done. He could have done it ages ago, he had made the decisions. I am afraid of forgetting to keep reminding him as I have plenty of other stuff on my plate and I think this should be part of what you pay for.

OP posts:
bojorojo · 28/04/2017 15:25

Some of this is typical and some is not. There are well over 100 universities in this country and at my DDs mega expensive boarding schools we sorted out what open days they wanted in discussion with our DDs. Clearly they knew the type of university and possible courses so we could narrow it down. We didn't expect the school to spoon feed dates for open days but we did have a talk about university applications a short way into lower 6th so we were teed up regarding looking at open day dates. I was clued up about this already though.

Regarding UCAS application, no one at school cared a fig about which university once the subject was chosen! We talked Oxford over with staff but beyond that nothing. They may have raised an eyebrow if DD1 had put down Bucks New for insurance. DD1 had an October deadline for Oxford and DD2 had a early November deadline imposed by the school. Both met their deadlines without hassle from me. I would be surprised if your DS had a December/January deadline from the school because they don't want all the work at the last minute. Did he drag his feet so the staff dragged theirs? What happened in the Autumn term re getting all this done after half term in early November?

My DDs made their decisions about accepting or declining. Not the school. I think as he has special needs you really need to get on board with the process. I didn't expect the school to do anything other than look at the personal statements, write the references, send everything off and get them through the exams. DD2 spent hours putting together an art portfolio without much input from staff. We found out what the University wanted her to submit. You are asking for a lot of hand holding. Did the school not give timetables and expectations? Surely your DS knew other pupils were going to open days?

Lastly, I would not be confident he is ready for university if he needs this amount of reminding. I can see deadlines missed and problems all the way. With UCAS, you just press the buttons! Talk it over and do it!