School's approach to UCAS - is this typical?

The school was very slow to "sign-off" DS's UCAS form (review & check personal statement, that his choices were appropriate , etc) which culminated in my having to phone the teacher responsible on the last day of the deadline to chase it up - this after having sent several chaser emails in the preceding days/weeks. It was submitted it on the very last day of the deadline, although DS had done his personal statement & made his choices weeks before.

Whatever the school type I would have expectations that they have this in control without being chased-up by parents.
I also think it is sensible to copy in parents for the timeline of process (including year 12) with dates of critical deadlines. Otherwise open days etc should be up to the students and if needed the parents.
My DCs' friends always seem so much more proactive and organised with these sort of matters than they (or we) are .

I too was wondering OP if your DS is actually procrastinating because he's not sure if what and where he wants to study. My DS applied in his gap year. He would not apply in yr 13 in fact at one stage said he didn't want to go to uni. He didn't really many attend talks from universities or engage with the careers dept when at school I persuaded him to look at two universities at the end of yr 12 but he wouldn't have done it on his own.
Now he's left school, got his results, lived abroad for a period, worked in a variety of jobs, and seen that working full time is definitely not all it's cracked up to be in fact work is pretty shit generally stepped off the education treadmill going to university doesnt seem like such a crap idea and the time out of education enabled him to work out what he actually might enjoy studying, he's not doing what he'd originally said when in yr 13 and where. Applying with your grades is also so much easier. Maybe your DS would benefit from a gap year?

I never went to uni. I learned all about the process via MN . DS's school laid on all the stuff haffadonga mentions. I still had to nag him every step of the way about every single deadline. If you look on the Higher Ed threads there is a long running thread for parents of this year's uni applicants. Lots of DC haven't yet pressed the button.

I think Manchester is unusual in allowing offer holders to apply for accommodation before accepting them though.

Get your DS (or do it with him) to check the accommodation pages on both his firm and insurance university websites. Some universities have early dates for applying e.g. Manchester's opened a few months ago. All universities have different dates and different policies.

Do you think your DS is actually ready to move away and go to uni? Most students at this stage are aware of student finance and have researched their options, as well as being clear on the deadlines for accepting their offers and what they have to do in order to go to university. Do you think he actually wants to go? It seems like he is trying to avoid thinking about the process!

If he is struggling with the application process, it seems like he will struggle even more at uni, where he will need to be able to find out information and complete assignments with very little handholding. If he needs support, he will be expected to find out what is available and ask for it. Universities tend not to be as engaged as schools are with this. Many universities will provide mentors/support staff to help with organization and deadlines and so on, but this needs to be sorted proactively in advance. Have you/he asked about what support will be available for him? In general, you won't be able to contact the university to check up on him as he's an independent adult.

If he's living in halls next year, that may help with the transition, but in a year's time he will need to have sorted private accommodation for second year usually with a private landlord. Next September, he will have to negotiate things like paying his own bills and so on (obviously along with his friends and housemates). If something goes wrong, how do you think he will cope?

I also wonder if not passing on any of this information is some kind of tactic to avoid going to uni next year. Is this what he actually wants, or is he just doing it because this is what he's "supposed to do" at this stage?

Er - he can't apply for accommodation until he's firmly accepted an offer (and some unis will let you apply with an insurance offer), but he definitely wants to have that application in place before results day. Some universities offer accommodation on a first come, first served basis.

Neither dh, nor I, went to university. DS did. He was motivated enough to deal with the entire process himself, whilst working during his gap year. He decided which universities to apply to, which courses, contacted his former head of sixth form to arrange a reference, wrote his PS and found someone who would check it over for him. He also sorted a shortlist of university accommodation which he discussed with us before making his final decision. The only thing we had any active part in, was the student finance application. Everything else was done by ds - he found out dates, places etc and then, once he'd narrowed his choices down, he discussed with us. But he made the decisions and submitting applications etc was very much down to him. Just as once at university it was his responsibility to know and meet deadlines etc.

There is still time to get everything done so nothing lost really. Accommodation won't be an issue until he firmly accepts a place and then meets the condition.

Could you make contact with the relevant person in school to talk through what needs to happen now?

DS2 went to a full boarding school we got emailed information about choosing universities courses which went on for quite a few pages so I opened it and then failed to read ialll of It especially the email said our DS's had been sent the same thing. Open days were mentioned but we were strongly advised not to visit too many in fact the value of them was considered not to be very great, (I'm not saying I agree with this) many of DS's friends didn't go to any and I think we were restricted to only visiting two in school time. No one told us when universities had open days but it is clearly written on their websites boys/parents were clearly expected to look into this themselves. The careers dept had information about courses and many including. ones in the US came and talked to the boys, boys were emailed etc informing them about these but attendence was of course voluntary and no one chased you to go. UCAS forms were done with HM's in the first term of year 13 That part seemed very efficient and DS's HM also advised in what universities to consider for their chosen subject. I thought it was all surprisingly and pleasingly low key for a school with very high expectations that your DS will get a place at the countries top universities
Through out the whole process I I definitely got the impression that information is readily available from a variety of sources but that boys were expected to make an effort to go out and find it. IMO whether we are paying or not is irrelevant I agree with what others have said they are 17/18, old enough to take the initiative about this and other things, as also said when they go off to uni they are going to have to shift for themselves
I accept that schools in deprived areas with a high % of parents who are not familiar with the university application process more support is needed but cartainlycnot for most parents I know paying school fees,

So it's emerging that there has been the option to have information and meetings have been held. It isn't that the school has done nothing, but OP simply hasn't really been proactive in engaging, being caught up with other things.

I think that older teenagers need a lot of input and help and direction from parents. Schools cannot be expected to provide it all, regardless of whether the education is being paid for or not. It is the parents job to enagage, listen to their child's thoughts about the next stage of their life, facilitate practicalities such as visits and funding, advise and help their child decide themselves what is best. Being too busy is letting them down imo.

"Yeah the deadline's really soon".

"Why haven't you said anything to us about it?"

"I've been focused on exams."

DH: "why hasn't the school said anything to us about it?"

Says it all really. Straight away, someone else's fault.

I very much doubt that there hasn't been support for university applications in this school.

Just shows that paying school fees doesn't necessarily buy you anything that you wouldn't get for free in a state school .

Ds's bog standard comp has talked to all students and parents endlessly through the process. All dcs in the year have been taken on open days (free school transport), all have had compulsory meetings with careers staff to discuss their choices, deadline for UCAS statements was October and statements were reviewed intensively by school with many revisions. All submitted before Christmas. On top we've had uni finance talks, revision talks, subject specific talks, etc etc. Info emailed to all parents whether or not they attend.

What exactly are you paying for in your ds's expensive posh school?

Well clearly your son needs more help. You have to prioritize doing this over being busy running your own company .
As you keep saying.

Do you think your son's ready for university this autumn?

Genuine question.

But you must be used to thinking and planning ahead with regards to your business! Sounds like with your son you've just assumed that paying for his education means you can delegate all of it.

I however feel that no school can take the credit for my DC's confidence and independence. I claim that all but entirely, as should all the mothers who have brought up their DC.

Good schools foster confidence. Whether you pay or the state pays is often down to luck.

All that said, people are a lottery. Even the apparently best/worst parenting and schooling come with no guarantees. I suspect there is a lot of nagging in both places, and the effectiveness depends on many factors.

Those of you that think paying for education should get your child pampered all the way are sadly very short of the mark. One reason many private school children do well is because they are independent and confident. They think for themselves. That is what you pay for. Not constant nagging.