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When parents are slagging off the local comp...

779 replies

Everyoneafter3 · 17/04/2017 08:43

I've posted before about my concerns over the local secondary, which, thanks to comments on this board and an excellent recent Ofsted, are very much allayed. I had a very good read of school newsletters etc and am much happier. Dd1 (Y4) is musically gifted and will also audition for a specialist music school.

The area in which we live is very affluent: many children round here go to fee-paying independent schools. These dc are going to school and telling my dd (and others) that the local secondary is rubbish ("my mum and dad say..."). One particularly stupid parent has said at home that "no child of mind will set foot in x school" which of course is coming back home with our dd.

Dd1 has now got it into her head that the local school is terrible, that she's really upset to go to not a good school, that she wishes we weren't poor (we're not! But no, we can't afford independent school fees without having to sacrifice other stuff we prioritise as a family). She's been researching exam results and all sorts.

For our part we've said well look at any local school she'd like to, although as we live across the road from the school in question it'd be unlikely that she'd get in.

I'm heartily sick of parents telling their dc how awful the local school is. It's simply not fair. My dc won't receive a 'lesser' education. They aren't going to a 'rubbish' school. If this continues I'm tempted to speak to their current primary school tbh. What else can I do? I've told dd to not listen, we've looked at the school website, talked about results (!) but I'm at a loss.

OP posts:
GetAHaircutCarl · 19/04/2017 12:41

alyosha did you just make up your post of 20.03 last night?

Because it's nonsense.

The selection process at LGS is not as tough as at Westminster. No where near the same level of testing. Especially at sixth form.

And I've no idea why you said HB got the same A level results as W. They clearly are not. In 2015 around 35% of A levels at HB were A*, whereas it was over 55.% at W.

At HB 18 students attained all A*s, W had over double that.

Similarly Tiffin STEP scores were not in line with W's.

Either you're very confused or you're just making shit upWink.

So of course W are likely to be more successful than those schools. And that's before we get into the sorry subject of pretty green and how it is spent by either school.

Ontopofthesunset · 19/04/2017 12:09

But I want to know why, since according to you my school has ties with various colleges, no one was told about them when we were applying. What's the point of secret handshakes if you don't tell the people who will benefit from them?

Alyosha · 19/04/2017 12:05

User, Gloria

How on earth can you say you are not biased when you come out with this:

"Yes, this is a big factor. Top schools tend to send only their very best students to my college."

How is that not biased?

As you seem to be from a science discipline, are you aware of the huge body of research that shows that yes, everyone is biased - even researchers and scientists who think they aren't?

Papers by women are less likely to get published than if the identical paper has a male name, research funded by pharma reports disproportionately favourable results even when the researchers state they are "unbiased".

It is not possible to be unbiased when you think that private schools "only send their very best students" to you.

The only way you could be unbiased is if you could not see the school the candidate was applying from.

Would you support that system?

sendsummer · 19/04/2017 12:05

It's all just the hard work from Eton pupils who all 100% totally deserve to be there over kids from state schools or even lesser private schools with identical results?

Alyosha I repeat part of my above post
the top independent schools do some things very well, probably due to a combination of the type of pupils and type of teachers they attract. They foster higher level independent study and thinking skills and provide a university type experience at school for those who are ready for it and can take advantage (not all pupils will at those schools). That is not the same thing as helping students achieving high exam marks, indeed it may not result in any difference in A level exam grades

Most academics are actually pretty left wing after all agree or/ and international without any so called loyalties to certain schools apart an interest in making sure pupils from that school can perform at the level beyond expected from their education.

GloriaGilbert · 19/04/2017 12:02

Before you even meet private school kid you assume they will be great because of the school they come from.

But equivalent state schooler with identical grades doesn't get that positive image.

Sure, if you've stepped right out of a Dickensian novel.

user7214743615 · 19/04/2017 11:55

User - right, and that expectation means you will view the candidate more favourably.

No, it doesn't, because I am not biased - I look at the whole picture: candidate's application, performance in interview, performance in tests, taking into account background etc etc.( If I were biased it would be in the other direction, actually. Most academics are actually pretty left wing after all.)

BTW students from Eton pretty much never apply for my subject.

It is bollocks to say that any school has any particularly special connection. In reality, though, schools such as Eton and Winchester select so much at 13 that they produce many Oxbridge candidates at 18. That's the reality of being a very selective school, full of kids with lots of support from parents from an early age, kids who are exposed to so much beyond and outside the school curriculum.

Alyosha · 19/04/2017 11:48

User - right, and that expectation means you will view the candidate more favourably.

A kid from a state school doesn't have the already favourable image you project on the kid from the private school you've never met before.

Before you even meet private school kid you assume they will be great because of the school they come from.

But equivalent state schooler with identical grades doesn't get that positive image.

Still interested in your view on Eton and Christ Church - widely admitted to have a "special connection". Or is that bollocks too?

user7214743615 · 19/04/2017 11:36

IME links with colleges have nothing to do with admissions apart from schools warning off all but the exceptional students for choosing to apply to the historically linked college in order to safeguard their reputation.

Yes, this is a big factor. Top schools tend to send only their very best students to my college.

Alyosha · 19/04/2017 11:16

"And lots of people who actually work in admissions saying that you are talking rubbish."

Maybe they can explain why Eton gets so many of its pupils into Christ church college then? Do they really not have a special relationship? It's all just the hard work from Eton pupils who all 100% totally deserve to be there over kids from state schools or even lesser private schools with identical results?

Or why certain pupils from certain schools who apply to certain colleges are guaranteed interviews?

Lots of kids from private schools choose their colleges based on the ones they like the most!

I chose my college because I was told Hertford college oxford would definitely give me an interview and probably an offer.

I got the interview (even with AAB predicted grades) but not the offer (not good enough!)

GloriaGilbert · 19/04/2017 10:26

All state educated but got help from school to apply and write PS. To OP, the best, most satisfying revenge on parents who constantly talk down your kids comp is results day

I'm sure that's true, if these parents who openly disparage your child's school actually exist!

Based on my experience, they'd be more likely tying themselves into a pretzel trying to praise it (if their child goes privately and yours goes state).

mumsneedwine · 19/04/2017 10:16

My eldest chose her Oxford college because the boys she saw at the Open Day were hot. And my 2nd chose his because he liked the main hall as it looked like Hogwarts. And my 3rd made the sensible decision to chose his college by proximity to the best pub. All state educated but got help from school to apply and write PS. To OP, the best, most satisfying revenge on parents who constantly talk down your kids comp is results day😁. The knowledge that my little darlings had had 13 years of free education and got better results than the students who had told mine they were pond scum for being state educated was a little bit enjoyable. To me - kids couldn't care less.
Just a quick thing though. My next DD attended a Medics day at Eton last year and met a couple of private school kids who were very lovely and had never met a comp kid before. One v sweet girls said DD was a bit of a surprise and they have stayed in contact since.
Teenagers frankly don't care. It's sometimes the parents who find these things important.

sendsummer · 19/04/2017 10:02

Alyosha the top independent schools do some things very well, probably due to a combination of the type of pupils and type of teachers they attract. They foster higher level independent study and thinking skills and provide a university type experience at school for those who are ready for it and can take advantage (not all pupils will at those schools). That is not the same thing as helping students achieving high exam marks, indeed it may not result in any difference in A level exam grades.
IME links with colleges have nothing to do with admissions apart from schools warning off all but the exceptional students for choosing to apply to the historically linked college in order to safeguard their reputation.

cowgirlsareforever · 19/04/2017 10:01

Well of course they're not but where will you find such a concentrated bunch of them up north?

Manchester Grammar? They have a good track record for Oxbridge but I am guessing it won't be anywhere close to Westminster.

GloriaGilbert · 19/04/2017 09:17

The schools may not be comparable to Westminster but I absolutely refuse to accept that the boys at Westminster are all significantly brighter than children in northern schools.

Well of course they're not but where will you find such a concentrated bunch of them up north?

There's another thing that schools like W are good at identifying, which will be lost in the data - intellectual curiosity. They do quite well at picking the quirky, oddball eccentrics that will go on to do very well at Oxbridge interviews.

And, as has been mentioned above, you can't discount the effect of selective sixth-form entry. The girls W selects, as elite as the boys might be at 13, are an extraordinary cut above.

user7214743615 · 19/04/2017 08:16

Basilisk - lots of people here are telling you it does exist.

And lots of people who actually work in admissions saying that you are talking rubbish.

Ontopofthesunset · 18/04/2017 22:12

Gosh, I wish when I was at NLCS applying to Oxbridge many years ago any of my teachers had told me and my friends about those college links. Then we wouldn't just have chosen our colleges by ourselves or because we liked the ducks.

BasiliskStare · 18/04/2017 21:49

In which case I defer.

DS has never come across it ( v small example obviously) . I hope others' DCs will not be put off applying to a university because they think there is a "club" they are not part of.

Take your point , and that's all Grin

cowgirlsareforever · 18/04/2017 21:42

Thanks Basilisk He also has a specific learning difficulty so that's another obstacle to overcome!

Alyosha · 18/04/2017 21:32

Basilisk - lots of people here are telling you it does exist.

You can't address the problem if you don't admit it exists first.

BasiliskStare · 18/04/2017 21:19

Her house tutor told her he thought he could get her into either the LSE or Durham and was happy to ring his contacts there to put in a word for her

I cannot argue with someone else's experience. All I can say is that if you put the actual school & teachers aside, and what that gives you ( and I do realise that is a massive if) my point is I do not believe there is any longer a back handed handshake / old school tie into the better known universities. I just don't. That said , I am not saying there isn't any inequality , I am just saying , don't chase after shadows.

Cowgirls I wish your Ds well, however it works out for him.

cowgirlsareforever · 18/04/2017 21:06

I realise how naive I am when I read these threads. There was a poster a while ago who encouraged her dc to apply for a summer school which was set up to increase accessibility for disadvantaged children. Her dc didn't meet any of the criteria bit she saw nothing wrong with applying. My DP is chronically disabled but my ds would never class any of the help he's given DP or myself as being a 'carer'. Despite years of seeing his dad suffer serious illness, countless hospital stays and at one point, a room in our house being turned into essentially a hospital ward where a community critical care team treated DP every day for months, I know none of this will appear on DS' PS. It would also be the easiest thing in the world for him to give his GP's address in his application because it is in a 'flagged' socio-economically deprived area. There is no way he would do that although I am in little doubt many people wouldn't think twice about it, in order to given themselves a better chance.

Traalaa · 18/04/2017 21:01

Purely anecdotal this, but two different sets of friends have daughters who ended up on the same course at Durham. Daughter 1 went to a comp in a northern city. She got a conditional offer of AAA (I think, or it might have been AAA), achieved the grades and was accepted. Daughter 2 attended a top private school. She wanted to go to Kings but her grades were way off (she got BCD). Her house tutor told her he thought he could get her into either the LSE or Durham and was happy to ring his contacts there to put in a word for her. She opted for Durham and with no interview got a place on the same course as the other girl who achieved AAA. Daughter 2 is lovely, hugely bright and I'm sure flunked her A-levels due to stress, etc, but still..

Alyosha · 18/04/2017 20:53

Yes SHHS' reputation was permanently damaged by so many girls getting into Oxbridge thanks to school links to colleges...

Hmm.

babyinarms · 18/04/2017 20:49

☆doesnt influence!

babyinarms · 18/04/2017 20:48

☆doesn't influebe

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