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Original poster

DD given a Prefect role on a 'probationary' basis - singled out for not complying with school rules, which is news to us

193 replies

hmcAsWas · 25/03/2017 09:02

Parents evening a few weeks ago. All favourable - dd works hard in class is meeting expected targets etc. No negative feedback.

Pupils were recently asked to apply if they wanted a prefect role. All those who applied were given prefect roles - with dd and one of her friends held back and spoken to separately. They were both told that they were on probation for half a term and their prefect roles would only be made substantive if they could prove themselves. Apparently they are not complying with school rules.

DD was aghast - apparently she rolls up her skirt too high. She has been told about this by her form teacher and she rolls it back down again when asked and has been complying without being asked recently. She and every other girl who has been selected as Prefects all do this - including the head girl, and dd is adamant she is no worse than anyone else. DD has complained to me previously that her Form teacher does not like her (or her friend) and is harder on her (and her friend) than on her peers and does not appear to be consistent or fair minded. She has given me a couple of recent examples.

It seems that dd now has this sword of Damocles over her and is sure her role wont be made substantive when the half term is up because she thinks her Form teacher will be looking to find fault

What to do?

OP posts:
TheColonelAdoresPuffins · 27/03/2017 09:34

Yes. Don't leave teaching by the way. You are needed! Remember you are always going to hear the negative stuff on mnet as people don't tend to post when all is going swimmingly. When they did the ofsted parent view thingy at dd's school 99% of parents said their child was happy, but the teachers probably hear loads of moans, but just don't hear from the silent happy majority!

Trifleorbust · 27/03/2017 09:29

No, that's what I am saying - I agree with you that this might be possible in a private school if my form of 18 students in a comprehensive and my classes of 31 translated into a form of 9 and classes of 15/16.

TheColonelAdoresPuffins · 27/03/2017 09:20

Are you in a private school?

Trifleorbust · 27/03/2017 09:12

TheColonelAdoresPuffins:

Only if class sizes are very considerably smaller. I am a core subject teacher and form tutor (may leave) and I would only have time to do this if I ignored the discussions I have to have with students about serious behaviour problems, absence, academic performance etc. This really wouldn't be my priority.

TheColonelAdoresPuffins · 27/03/2017 09:07

Op said it's a private school. It would be a ridiculous request in my dd's comp, but I reckon in a private school it's more reasonable.

Trifleorbust · 27/03/2017 09:01

You want two teachers to give up their time, weekly, to review your DD's behaviour with her, based on her being asked to keep her skirt at the right length and remain outside when told to do so? Have you any idea how many more pressing things they will have to do?

corythatwas · 26/03/2017 18:23

What you are telling us here, OP, is that your dd spends an inordinate amount of time looking over her shoulder to see if others are not being as bad as she is- or else where would you have all this information from?

If this attitude comes across in her general demeanour, then I can well see why her teachers are in two minds as to whether she has the maturity to be a prefect.

Only she can prove them wrong.

Original poster
hmcAsWas · 26/03/2017 18:08

Okay noted - good points. Perhaps the report doesn't cover everything. At least talking to school will fully inform me.

Yes it is a prestigious role Boney - and yes it is reasonable that they need to be confident that she understands this.

OP posts:
BoneyBackJefferson · 26/03/2017 17:38

hmc

From what you have posted you are right to chase this.
As a form tutor this is what they are there for.
As a head of year, it is something that is definitely part of the job.

Reading through the thread again, your dd isn't just going to be a prefect she is possibly going to be the school's sports captain.
This is a fairly prodigious post given that many pupils in the school will be looking up to her.

It is possible that they are wanting to make sure that she understands how important the post is.

cricketballs · 26/03/2017 17:35

I have taught many before whom in lessons do everything that is brilliant and their report states this; behaviour and attitude outside of lessons can be horrendous but as a subjrct teacher im not at liberty to voice this as my report has to be subject based. The form tutor tends to have the true reflection of behaviour and attitude overall

Original poster
hmcAsWas · 26/03/2017 17:04

Previous post is a case in point - it gets a huge Hmm from me

OP posts:
BagittoGo · 26/03/2017 17:02

I think your daughter should hand in her probationary prefect badge as she clearly doesn't get it. She sounds sneaky and conniving as well as a pain in the backside. The 2 girls clearly egg each other on and in amongst their childish behaviour they have skewed visions on their versions of events.

Original poster
hmcAsWas · 26/03/2017 17:01

...and growing tired of this now. You must all be bored insensible by now! I'm off for a bit - Happy Mothering Sunday everyone

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Original poster
hmcAsWas · 26/03/2017 16:59

Although to be there have been some very constructive posts too. I am probably overly irritated by a handful of very dismissive posts - I'm only human!

OP posts:
Original poster
hmcAsWas · 26/03/2017 16:54

And I did want the advice - it has helped clarify things for me (i.e. that I have heard nothing to persuade me that I am wrong)

OP posts:
Original poster
hmcAsWas · 26/03/2017 16:52

I've posted for advice before and completely changed my opinions and approach based on the input from other posters. I guess this hasn't happened on this occasion ....

OP posts:
SuperPug · 26/03/2017 16:41

I think if you ask for advice on a public forum, you can expect to get a range of ideas and advice. If you don't want this adivce and you're going to do whatever you feel like, don't post.
The comment re: the report - no, we don't need an account of how she's doing in every subject Hmm Good Luck and better luck to the school if you refuse to work with them.

TheColonelAdoresPuffins · 26/03/2017 16:39

Maybe your dd rolls her skirt shorter than the Head girl and others, but hopefully the FT can clarify re her reasons for the probationary period.

Original poster
hmcAsWas · 26/03/2017 16:15

I've requested that Mn pull my post from 12.35 in case it is too identifying.

OP posts:
SuperPug · 26/03/2017 15:57

Well, you've just mentioned that on the thread? It does seem unfair if that is the case but it seems like you also need to look at other issues. Completely understand you have your daughter's back but a significant issue in schools, regarding behaviour, is not being backed by parents and I hope you appreciate this side of the argument as well.

Original poster
hmcAsWas · 26/03/2017 15:43

"How is your daughter going to pull up another pupil for uniform if she can't get it right herself?"

Hmm - same no doubt applies to the Head Girl

OP posts:
Original poster
hmcAsWas · 26/03/2017 15:40

The report isn't just about academics though is it? There's a lot about attitude and behaviour - did you miss 'diligent' 'conscientious' and 'inspiration to her peers'.

Sorry this doesn't add up - and I don't agree with the latter posts. I've tried hard to weigh up the varied posts and differing opinions prior to now as I did post genuinely seeking advice rather than confirmation of my opinion, but at this point I am going to follow through on my convictions. Having revisited her report this morning I am more convinced than before that I need to seek answers, not less convinced. This all came like a bolt from the blue and has been badly handled.

She tries damn hard and get this back. Incidentally she was walking down the corridor with the new Head Girl and the form teacher said "Hello new Head Girl. Roll your skirt down for me!" ....so this infringement stops my daughter in her tracks but doesn't prevent the other girl from being Head Girl. It isn't right, it isn't just, and I damn will say something (a lot more calmly than this mini vent on here)

Phew that felt better.

Yes I have my dd's back - so shoot me

Thanks again for the posts and advice - they have helped me crystallise my approach... but perhaps not in the way many of you anticipated.

OP posts:
CauliflowerSqueeze · 26/03/2017 15:39

Ok well I would still say to give her the tools and reassure her that you are confident she can resolve this. Once she experiences success off her own back it will help her tackle things in the future.

swingofthings · 26/03/2017 15:02

The fact that she is satisfying her teachers academically doesn't mean she doesn't have an issue with her behaviour/attitude that means that she is not yet seen as a role model to other pupils. More importantly, she might need to grow more confident to be able to tackle issues she will be expected to deal with as a prefect.

Cauliflower - she's 14 nearly 15, in Y10 and suffers from anxiety
If she suffers from anxiety, it is then even more important that you encourage her to deal with her issues rather than relying on you. Her Form Tutor is hitting that she needs to take on more responsibility. Discussing her feeling with her tutors and asking how she can improve is doing exactly that.

SuperPug · 26/03/2017 14:49

Aargh phone keyboard - I don't think we need to see her school report...

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