Year 7 boys - disorganised and irresponsible

An hour is fine to walk for a few days as a reminder not to lose the oyster card - maybe not for ever. Also nothing wrong in getting on the wrong bus - again a useful learning exercise. My DS has done it, hopefully wont do it again but he managed to make his way back. Has also missed his stop a few times. They have to learn from their mistakes and I am certainly not tracking him in case he is on the wrong bus. If he loses his phone and is on the wrong bus or lost and worried he can ask someone to ring me - my mobile number is on all his possessions. It has never happened he always makes his own way back eventually.

I thin Ds got mad and smashed it in temper tantrum.

an iphone?

and you gave him another one/

why?

and if he loses his oyster cards, he walks, simple as.

I don't think it's a boy thing either, after being a year 7 form tutor for some years I encountered some very disorganised girls too.

Not to generalise too much, but often the most disorganised would have parents who would bail them out by replacing lost stuff or even by delivering forgotten books / kit to school in the middle of the day.

I did suggest to some parents letting them face the consequences might provide more of an incentive....

My year 7 boy has a reasonable phone (not new, but not awful). At the beginning of the year I showed him the Nokia brick that I am keeping in reserve just in case of loss / breakage, he hasn't had to use it yet.

hi, yes still in TW, just coming out of 11+ with DD2. Hope you are well!

One of my DS has same organizational ability as your son. However we have managed it without any disasters (so far).

Bus pass/locker key etc all sewn onto lanyard type cords then sewn into inside of blazer pockets. Blazer has to be kept on at all times so the only thing that could be lost is the bus pass if taken out of holder but strict instructions not to do so and the actual pass holder is sewn to the lanyard so could not be lost.

No wallet used. If cash required it is in an envelope in zipped blazer pocket with details on. The cheapest old second hand smart phone. Definitely no house key too risky - use key pad entry. Name, school and my phone number attached to everything including rucksack, blazer, phone, PE kits etc.

Most things then seem to make their way back to us. He has only worn a coat twice but lost it both times but got returned both times - once took nearly a month! Nothing is worth anyone keeping/stealing which helps.

He'll get there in the end.
Nil desperandum!

I have a 12yo Y7 DS who hasn't managed to lose or break anything since he started high school so I don't think your DS's lack of organisation is a boy thing at all!

How was his organisational skill before Y7? Did you do more for him? Maybe it's worth reminding him to pack & check his bag the night before. How about a end of school day checklist?

I'd also be tempted to put his keys/Oyster card on a lanyard and replace the iphone with a basic heavy duty (indestructable) phone.

No, he's lost very little. He has to contribute to the replacement cost if he does.

Think I must have drawn the lucky straw
My yr 7 DS is supremely organised.
I was terrible at his age.
DS has never forgotten his homework, as yet not lost an item of clothing, always has the right equipment/book whatever with him at the right time. Even when he was in primary school, he would pack his bag the night before with all the right stuff.
It is clearly just in his nature. The other 3 children are hopeless.

He doesn't need to look after his things because you replace everything he loses or breaks.Plenty of cheap phones that have a calendar function!

^ This.

I have a dd of the same age, no sons. She is very careful with her stuff and hasn't list anything so far. She is also very organised about homework, deadlines, stuff she has to take to school etc.

DD3 had very similar problems in Y7. She's now Y8, and though she has occasional issues it has calmed down massively. I think she was just overwhelmed by the shift to a fairly full on relatively large school.

I don't think this is gender specific. The key is to help with reminders on walls, provide everything they need etc but to let them suffer the consequences of their forgetfulness/thoughtlessness. DS1 broke his iphone 5 after flipping it stupidly, he now has to make do with a cheap Chinese android. They learn quickly (so did I).

Are his memory skills just poor?
Ds struggles still with organisation.. and he's 19. He just came like that
Dd is 14 .. she could organise and sequence and plan from a young age..it's also just the way she's put together.
I bet you can guess which child is the most easily stressed though! Ds is so laid back he's horizontal.
If I could take a little from him and give it to her I would ( and vice versa obvs)

It's not a boy thing.

You have to make him feel the consequences, then he will gradually get better. Mine are 16 and 18 now. The younger is still better than the elder, but they both do ok.

Stop mopping up for him, then he will learn.

oh and one shoe left at sports ground. i keep remembering things!

she wasn't the only one though based on the number of emails going around amongst the parents of her class "has anyone got x's skirt?" " x has lost a shoe" and so on.....

Can't get beyond the 4 phones. I hope you are rewarding your dd with new phones or something similar for looking after hers!

God we lost so many locker keys in Y7. Well, he did. I don't think he ever actually put anything in the locker, he was just a sort of key-distributor.

luckily DD1's blazer has two inside zip pockets - i think that could be the key why she hasn't lost her wallet, phone & keys. keys are attached to a keyring inside her wallet.

DD1 now in yr8 was a nightmare first term of yr7

school jumper, lost before half term
school PE kit, left at the station (retrieved thankfully)
school coat, lost, turned up a year later
numerous pencil cases etc....
random bits of PE kit, lost
who knows how many scarfs, gloves etc lost.
locker key, lost (she doesn't bother with a locker this year claiming it to be "easier")

never lost her phone or oyster though interestingly.

much better this year.

he could just be overwhelmed with it all.

He doesn't need to look after his things because you replace everything he loses or breaks.
Plenty of cheap phones that have a calendar function!

Loads of kids at school have phones with smashed screens that still work, so I don't think it's unusual to damage your phone. Losing the other stuff does sound excessive though. How is it being lost? Is he abandoning his stuff at lunchtime to go and play football and stuff is being stolen/hidden? Or is it in his pockets and falling out when he picks his coat up?

Where does he store his Oyster card/wallet/keys?

Hells bells!
That is not a boy thing. I have a similarly aged boy and he looks after stuff carefully.

What you need to do is help him have a system.
Eg if iPhone and oyster are carried in hand, thenthey may easily end up lost. Each item needs its own specific place where it must always reside. Is he in a blazer? iPhone should have own zip pocket. Oyster another exclusive zip or closable pocket. If his clothing doesn't contain zip pockets, you can either add them in yourself or buy clothing that has them.
Each item should have a place and before he leaves anywhere he should think or chant out loud "wallet, keys, oyster, phone" or similar.

Could be normal, if he can't seem to learn organisational skills though, or improve to avoid consequences, it might be worth getting an educational psychology cognitive test. I don't have a ds, my two dd's are quite organised though.