Do you use one salary to pay for private school?

Some independent schools offer bursaries for under 70k salary.

SouthLondonDaddy is right to some extent.

We started paying, in Central London, because state options were not good. (They are better now, but still not great.) It did not bother us not having money for a new car, home improvements or anything but basic holidays.

But we always had a Plan B if it became too much, including moving to somewhere cheaper with a longer commute but better state schools, or hoping they were really clever and then focusing on, and tutoring for, grammars, perhaps moving to Kent or Kingston. It was not uncommon for neighbours to rent in a good catchment for a year or two....often professing that this was because "they did not believe in private schools".

If you can manage you should also consider job security. And now, at the end of the process, some friends are frantically playing catch up on savings needed for retirement.

I think it's not only about what you earn now, but about long-term stability. Even if you can afford the fees now, are you sure you will still be able to afford them in, say, 10-15 years? So much can change in such a long time.

Your sector may change radically. If you have a shop or business and don't own the premises, the rent may become unsustainable. In my area, the Dulwich Estate (a 'charity'! Which distributes most of its income to posh 'independent' schools in Dulwich!) hiked the rent of a toy shop by, a believe, some 70%, driving it out of business. Imagine that - you have a decent business, then all of a sudden the landlord wants 70% more in rent.

A competitor may drive you out of business. Think of all the small shops driven out of business by online shopping, etc.

Or you may be in a professional job that pays well now, but is unlikely to last till your retirement. The FT had a story a few months ago with a title along the lines of 'where are all the 40-something?"

We've been using one income to pay the fees for two kids for a few years now. The well-above-inflation annual rises are making it ever harder.

Definitely not for 2 kids and I wouldn't send one out of 2 children on an income of £65K. I would even hesitate on that income if I only had one child unless I was wholly committed to increasing my income. Everyone's priorities are different so there's no wrong or right. I wouldn't like to live so close to the bone financially with the constant pressure of paying school fees pervading the decisions of daily life and putting other pleasures out of reach.

As a child at private for a while, I truly noticed a heirarchy based on wealth and a strangely unhealthy obsession with it (plus rumours that the girls whose parents made donations were the prefects etc)

My parents were probably in the middle /lower wealth wise, it wasn't the differening wealth that bothered me (am hopelessly unmaterialistic) but the obsession with who had a swimming pool/pop star neighbour etc felt tedious and vacuous

I switched back to state, got stellar grades and into an elite university where I then beat all my privately educated counterparts hollow. Seems to me that private education is more about the "socialising" aspect than any real academic advantage

I agree *blankscreen- state+ hobbies etc+extra tutors+money for a house deposit/vocational studies as a young adult/driving lessons is better than throwing every last penny at private schools (which are rarely that much better than a decent state)

Out income.slightly over double and we have just pulled our ds out of private prep into the state sector.

I felt sick at doing it but what a relief.

As.someone else said it is a.snowball effect that just grows and grows and once.you are in it is v v v difficult.to get out. We could.afford.ds.but with dd starting it.was.foing to hurt.

Also I really do believe that housing costs are one of the biggest issue our children will face. I'm.thinking I'd rather save a deposit for the children and buy them a car.....

Whilst 5% school fee rises per year sounds about normal, we accepted a place at a private school for our DD1 and the fees rose 7% before we even arrived at the school. That was another £1k to find per year, before we even started!

If OP plan carefully, it's doable. As you mentioned, there are still a few years left, and there will be a gap that you only need to pay for 1. I would suggest you to start to save some money now. For one side, this can give you experience of a tight budget,and on the other side It's better to have a big pot saving aside. I won't be able to take the pressure if without a big saving cushion.

Duckie: so one child to house, clothe, feed, by birthday and Christmas presents for, pocket money, phone / computer outlay, pay for on holiday etc etc. And half the school fee bill.
Very different outgoings on the same salary.

Our only DD is 12 years old and has been in a private school (Yorkshire) for the past three years. Our income is similiar to Turkeydinosaurs. Each month, we budget around 1.3K towards the tuition fees and one on one music lessons at school. We have no mortgage, run a small car, and take small, non-expensive holidays to some European cities twice a year. No frequent eating-out ( probably once a month max.). DD flourishes and enjoys her school life. We have not come across any pressure on having nice clothes or good shoes. It wouldn't surprise me if we are the 'poorest' family in her year group as we often hear so and so jet off to some exotic holidays, or get a glimps of their lifesyles when sending our DD to her friends houses for sleepover or birthday parties. (i.e. multiple sports cars in the driveway or once....a helicopter). Different wealth levels don't seem to have any impact on her friendships or school experience and we shall see if it's still the case when they become proper teenagers. So far, it has been managable however we are aware of the annual increase in tuition fees by around 5%. I wouldn't say i feel 'tight' but it's probably down to what you are used to and consider a 'comfortable' lifestyle as everyone is different. Also, we only have one child...not two!

I agree with a PP that probably the biggest factor will be the steady annual increase in fees. They usually rise by 4% a year, so if it is an 11-18 school, then you will be paying £16k for each DC by the time they leave. In addition, sometimes fees go up as the children pass various markers. E.g. They might go up when they start their GCSE studies, and again when they start A levels., so it could be even more than that.

You need to be sure that your fee provision plans can keep in line with this increase.

mrsm I agree with that - having gone to a private school myself I really don't recall any pressure to keep up - girls came from very ordinary as well as very privileged backgrounds - often the former.
My DS1 and 2 are at prep and tbh it's more down to earth than our local state primary which is full of quite pretentious parents.
If you can save up I would.
We have a combined income over £100k (not by much) and we find it a struggle.

We're in a similar situation to yours. Our income is a little higher (but still sub £100k gross joint) and our school fees higher (c.£32k pa for both).

We thought long and hard before taking the plunge. It has, without a doubt, had a negative impact on some areas of our life (less meals out, less (no!) frivolous spending, simpler cheaper holidays etc), but for us the benefits of seeing our children flourish in their school has been worth every sacrifice.

For us though, we have been planning for this for years, and have saved hard and put ourselves in a really good position. We have a fully paid off mortgage, a large sum of cash in savings and a BLT property with significant equity. I'm not sure I'd cut our finances as tight as we do if we didn't have that to fall back on to be honest. I'd recommend that you save at least a couple of years worth of fees to have in reserve if you can.

At our school, there's really no stigma to being the "poorer" child. In fact there was more pressure to have the "right" (read expensive!) trainers/clothes/phones etc in the state school than there is at the private. Also school trips are no more expensive than those offered at state schools. The parents, staff and children are all very down to earth. But we very carefully chose the school that we felt was the right fit for us in all aspects including academic, social, ethos etc.

Good luck with whatever you choose.

We've made compromises to afford private schooling for our three kids. For one of those kids the private offering was not good enough and we placed them in state school after three years. There was bullying in the private school that was not dealt with effectively. We have bullying in the state school too and the staff seem more on top of it.

If we had our time again we're not sure we would go private for our children. My eldest has elected to leave her well-regarded private school to attend a local sixth form college for year 12 (and we support her in that decision) even though money is not an issue. Even if the private place was free for year 12 she and we would still rather the local sixth form college.

All that said, every school is different. I could certainly understand someone using a large proportion of their income to pay for schooling if considered necessary.

I was talking to a checkout operator in Tesco the other day. She commented that she worked full time at Tesco and it covered substantially all of the private school fees for one child. She saw it as "trading her time for school time". It was an interesting perspective.

Op we aren't in that different a position to you financially and have had our DC at both state and private for primary as moved areas but definitely want would t continue private for secondary unless the state options were dire (and I'd done serious maths as haven't); I know a family who said fees for their dc started as £4K a term only to turn into 13k by sixth form once all their extras were added on. I'm not sure I've remembered that right it sounds so alarming an increase !

we work in school and our disposable income is much lower than most people here, so there is simply no way we can afford private school education. our solution is to teach at international school abroad in future so that our children can get free places. we hope our dream will come true soon...

As others have said, OP you have not mentioned at all what the state school options are like (although I appreciate your question was not private vs. state but can we afford private). Do you really think you are so much better off because you were privately educated? I really don't mean to cause offence by this, and I don't have any idea what stage of career you are at and how your earnings might rise in the future, but you're not exactly earning the big bucks.

Of course its possible to live on circa £1300 a month but it would involve careful budgeting for a family of four. Its entirely dependent on things like how high your council tax, fuel costs and travelling costs are and those figures were without any pension contribution (if you took out a five percent pension contribution you are taking it down to about £1,000 a month) and I would seriously question the logic of sacrificing an income during retirement for the sake of private schooling for your children. You would have very little buffer if anything went wrong and holidays etc would be hard to manage.

I also think you have to consider the fact that most children at private school will do lots of extras too like music lessons and extra sporting activities.

I really don't think you can afford it on such salaries. I'm sorry. But I do think the idea of trying now to live on £1300 a month (keeping in mind your children will be older and they become more expensive as they get older in terms of clothing and the amount of food they eat), is a good one since if your house is very small and your running costs are low then you never know.

It can be a useful way to think about it, because if you have friends with the same number of kids and just one salary, which is very similar to the one you'd be living on while you spent the other on school fees, then you can get an idea of whether it's doable and what kind of lifestyle it supports. Only if you know them well enough to check they don't have a private income as well, though, and if there are costs of working, eg transport costs, holiday childcare, don't forget to allow for them.

It's good that you have a few years to go. Start now spending only what you'll have available to spend if you do this, see how it feels, save the rest. Always fun to see what MNers think other people can't live on :-)

For goodness' sake don't decide to do private school simply because you were privately educated though - look at the schools!

'Because you did' is such a basic reason to do all this. Have you looked at the state schools near you?

I went to a selective private school, my dc to a state comprehensive. The education there is better than the one I received, and Dc results higher than mine.

My brother went to grammar, my sister to a comp. As adults we all have the same degree qualifications.

New car, new boiler, fees rising every year, the stress will be immense. And the sacrifices won't just be during the school years because your savings / pension will suffer.

I just don't think you have done your sums as others have said. I would not even embark on a private school journey with out a cushion of 1 year of fees in case of redundancy etc.

I have not found the material extras or uniform to be that excessive personally, but do forward plan for compound fee increases each year. That's the killer. I allow 4%pa - check out your local schools and see how they have increased.

I agree that in your budgeting, you must allow for money for emergency/expenditure which will be necessary. Your car will need work or replacing. Your boiler won't last forever. It is so important to have savings set by or sufficient income to cover those things...because they are unavoidable.
You say it is a while off, so yes yes to the posters who have suggested you try living on what would be left after the fees, plus remembering to put aside for things like those emergencies. And remember the fee increases above inflation and jumps which often come in Year 3.....must factor those in and not just look at cost of a reception place which maybe low to lure people in.
Would you sacrifice pension contributions and go into debt to do this? Seriously, jus because you were privately educated and grammar educated doesn't mean it is the only option for you, or because you want it, it is possible or desirable. Part of your research about if this is viable also includes looking into the state options.....you might be surprised and your preconceptions proved wrong.
At the end of the day it is al about gains vs costs. To sacrifice to the level that you are talking about, the gains need to be bloody massive, to the alternative......far more than for the wealthier person for whom the real cost in terms of sacrifice is so much lower. So it is vital to know about the alternatives, so you can judge the true gain against the cost to your family.

I'm not quite sure why private automatically means better? I was privately educated in a good day school as were my siblings and you pay for smaller class sizes and parents (and most children, not all) being invested in their child's education.

But, teaching was not always great. In some subjects I felt there was a lack of ability to teach to lower ability students (I.e science for those who did not intend to do medicine/ dentistry at university) and I had private tuition for languages in addition to school fees! (GCSE level).

School trips were good, skiing, choir trips to Europe, day trips to Ypres etc. but nothing a parent couldn't replicate or outside interests couldn't assist with.

Yes, I have good grades, a good degree, a professional qualification. I expect a dedicated student (which I was) could have attained these at the local comp. friends certainly did!

You could definitely tell the kids whose parents scraped by. I was friends with some, didn't bother me but it may well have bothered the kids.

Our joint income does not extend to private (unless I go back to my profession which I didn't enjoy!) so I don't have that dilemma. We have done it the other way, moved to an area with good (some very good) state schools. Would that not be a better option?