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Original poster

advice on changing schools after bullying and the after effects

30 replies

ihatethecold · 27/01/2017 12:46

My DD13 has been through a very serious case of bullying at her school. The police became involved and the bully, also 13 was given a community resolution order.

My dd mental health seems to be declining quite quickly.

She is anxious and crying most days and does not want to go to school.
The school have put counselling in place but its only 30 mins every 2 weeks.

The school are now badgering me about attendance because she was sent home this week unwell. I have tried to get her back and had to leave her shaking and crying this morning at the school after her GP appointment.

She has had a stomach problem this week that i think is caused by stress.

She was assessed by the adolescent mental health service for anxiety late last year but they said she isn't bad enough for them to help.

We are going to look at another school next week but i'm scared i'm not doing the right thing.

She has become quite isolated at school because of the bully.

I need advice.

OP posts:
Original poster
ihatethecold · 27/01/2017 17:17

I think she is nervous about changing schools but I feel we have to do something.
The school nurse rang at lunchtime to say my dd isn't feeling well.
She hasn't eaten again since 8pm last night. Sad

OP posts:
tigerrun · 27/01/2017 14:14

Just awful for you OP (and your DD of course), as parents it is horrible feeling so helpless as they get older and things can't be solved with a cuddle and a trip to the park Flowers.

How does she feel about changing schools? Would she view it as a fresh start? My DS (13) had a boy join his class this year (Yr8) who had transferred from another local school because of bullying and by all accounts has been welcomed and met new friends and put it all behind him. Obviously it is not always that simple, but a change can be a very positive move, especially if the new school are aware and supportive.

I hope you find a good solution, good luck.

Pandamanda3 · 27/01/2017 14:06

Oh god bless her, I only meant getting her signed off for the period between moving schools that's how I did it.
I understand what you mean about councelling on the nhs Iv recently had my younger son counselling for a completly different matter however same situation in that nhs couldn't offer any help so I did pay privatly and it's been a life changer for him worth every penny.
It crippled me financially but what it's given has been priceless.
Is your daughter open to changing schools op?

Original poster
ihatethecold · 27/01/2017 13:21

Thank you so much for your reply.
Counselling takes a while to get going here. we are thinking of paying privatly for some CBT counselling for her.

I worry that if we get her signed off from the doctor we wont get her back in school.

She sat there with the nurse at the GP's this morning just crying her eyes out whilst they took a blood sample. I had to explain to the nurse she wasn't crying because she stuck a needle in her arm.

OP posts:
Pandamanda3 · 27/01/2017 13:13

Oh op so sorry for you & dd 💐 I fully understand your fear, my son was badly bullied and we did eventually move him.
You do think is it the best thing? But I can say in our case it was the new school we chose were very understanding and he made friends quickly as they really supported him.

I think it would be your best move, go to see the schools with dd and decide together what one she feels more secure in you'll get s feeling which is going to suit.

It takes time to settle of course but being safe from these bullies is the first step. So bloody wrong it's awful, my son started self defence too it was the making of him.

Get your gp to arrange counselling on a more regular basis and get sick note from your gp to sign her off officially absent because of trauma caused by bulling to cover the attendance issue whilst she recovers.

Putting her in the very place these monsters lurk I think is dangerous for her mental wellbeing I can't understand the system sometimes it's cruel.

Be brave op & supportive she needs you to carry her through and somebody to make decisions she may not be able to make right now.

Tell her from me & my son there is light at the end of the tunnel she's got to stay strong don't let them win! She's the better person for saying no im going to push on & leave your nastiness behind me.

Good luck to you both if you've any more questions if I can help I will x