Temporary exclusion and threatened permanent exclusion

All the other children have a right to be educated without children like your son peddling drugs

Where at any point did OP suggest her son was selling drugs? Or even that he'd bought them? It was a joint between a group of foolish friends. As per on MN it's grown arms and legs. He's not a dealer, he's a kid that messed up.

MY DC are at a grammar school which seems to have a very soft line on drugs, I would say for a first offence permanent exclusion would be unlikely

These are his rights and I'm concerned at people on this board telling me that I should ignore or give away his rights...cos drugs.

Your sorry little bunny he is 15 not 5 for FUCK sake broke the law.

All the other children have a right to be educated without children like your son peddling drugs.

He is only sorry he got caught and so are you.

So, OP, what are you going to say to school about the steps you have taken to ensure this doesn't happen again? This is what you should be focussing on rather than legal rights.

Mrs User, how do we know that Bunny won't just do this again?

Well we don't, do we? It's not a big deal, not the worst thing which could happen and he's a clever boy. It's his right to be educated, don't you know.

OR

We've made an appointment for him to have counselling to get to the bottom of this, we're so disappointed in him and so sorry about all of this and are going to work very hard to make sure this will never, ever happen again. Ever.

"Is this not the case in the UK . . .?"
In the real world - just as you describe, SofiaAmes - but on MN, never!

(And I speak as someone who doesn't smoke tobacco or weed, and does her best to put the fear of God into her dd regarding the evils thereof due to family medical history.)

OP, best of luck - your son fucked up, and I'm sure both you and he are well aware of this. But he won't be the first nor the last to do so, and I'm guessing that unless he's generally a PITA his teachers will want to do the best both for the school but also for him.

It also sounds like you're getting answers mainly from English based posters - I don't know how things work in Scotland, but it sounds like there are significant differences (I'm in Wales, so different again).

You seem to be more concerned about your son being excluded than the fact that he is using cannabis.

I used to be a secondary school governor and we had an absolutely zero tolerance policy on drugs. In my time we have permanently excluded a few students for supplying and carrying cannabis at school.

If you go into the meeting with the attitude that possessing cannabis is neither here nor there the school will be very eager to exclude your son.

Nobody is saying we want him put out of school. Or made some sort of social parish. Quite the opposite. We were trying to advise how to actually handle the meeting.

And at no point has the op said what she intends to do to prove that the school shouldn't exclude him apart from his rights which she knows all about (or thinks she does). Much less about his (and her) responsibilities.

And I know that cannabis is seen as cool and ok on MN. But it most certainly is not cool and ok in a school and showing even a bit of that "oh it's nothing" attitude in the meeting could lead to a very negative outcome for your DS.

"he chose to break a rule that people take seriously"

No- he chose to break a LAW!!

At the meeting make sure he apologises endlessly and tells them that he understands how serious it is. Or you can go in and treat it as 'not the worst thing that could happen' and see what happens. Not an experiment that I would want to carry out. What would happen in your workplace if you were found in posession of cannabis, I would be sacked immediately .

There are times when we all just have to suck it up and in this instance I think this may be one. You will need to talk him round a bit to understanding the wider consequences - not just for him but for others. It isn't really about weed but about illegal substances, health impact, younger students being exposed and the risk of police involvement.

Studying hard is great but I would encourage him not to adopt a shitty attitude about it. He is obviously a bright lad and his class teachers will want him to do well regardless.

He knows he needs to keep his nose clean if he wants the course he is after so that is what he needs to say in the meeting. I am presuming he will be there as it is about him really.

In short it may be time for him to learn to eat humble pie and show that this was a not to be repeated event.

But I have said that already. Repeating myself - sorry!

Your son broke the law. I'm assuming that you understand that? Your lax attitude to his drug taking is really neither here nor there. Cannabis is an illegal drug in the UK. Your son presumably knew that and chose to take that illegal drug into the school.

I have known plenty of students who have been permanantly excluded for things that don't involve breaking the law.

Wow. I am a little surprised. I realize that I am living in crazy liberal Los Angeles where marijuana has been legalized. At all the high schools that I know of both public and private, rich and poor, secular and religious marijuana and alcohol use is pretty ubiquitous amongst the teenagers. Is this not the case in the UK or is everyone just completely unaware of what their kids and/or their peers are up to?

Please do not take this comment as an approval: Personally I think that it's an evil drug with serious effects that are far too often minimized. Please look up the research as to what it does to the developing brain. (My ds was given marijuana by his father at age 10 and it made him psychotic and triggered bipolar which he will have to live with and be medicated for, for the rest of his life.)
It seems to me, OP that whether or not you approve of marijuana use in teenagers, your ds made a very very unwise choice to use at school. I would spend a lot of time and energy in understanding why he did this (and not so much in minimizing it - he chose to break a rule that people take seriously) and hopefully giving him help and support to make better choices in future. Or maybe next time it won't be a joint at school, but a six pack before driving and killing someone.

reluctant to consider college. You're really not getting that it's not actually up to you, are you op?

You're having a hard time working yourself up into a frenzy?

That much is obvious - I hope you're not making your attitude clear to your son? He has to realise he has done something illegal and majorly fucked up

As for the cannabis issue...much less so. He doesnt see it as a big deal

And neither does his Mum. This is what needs to change. If he has any hope at all of being allowed to stay at school for 5th year he has to start accepting it as a VERY big deal, be as contrite as he possibly can be, promise to go on whatever awareness courses you can find out about, demonstrate to school that he accepts what he did was very, very wrong and that it can never happen again.

Rather than googling your rights and contacting lawyers you need to show the school that as a parent you are taking the drug use/possession seriously, irrespective of your own feelings about the matter. A parent who goes in and says "We've been in touch with XYZ charity, have seen the GP, and Son has an appointment with a drugs counsellor on Monday" is going to come across so much better than a parent who refuses to see it as a big deal and bangs on about her "bunny" and his rights.

I reiterate: the school absolutely do have the right to ask a child to leave at 16. I'm very concerned about your understanding of the law.

Wow, do you really think you're in a position to bang on about his 'rights'?

The school and its pupils have the right to not have illegal drugs on the premises. A little more humility will be much more beneficial than foot stamping about the 'little bunny' and his rights

I have t been in your situation OP but my general advice for any school meeting would be to take someone with you who can take notes as you will be overwhelmed by everything.

Have an idea of what questions (if any) you need to ask.

I would also be including your DS in the meeting with regard to how he sees his actions and what he wants to do in order to address that and make things right again.

Teenagers do some very stupid things sometimes and if this is the first time he's ever been in this situation then they are more likely to help him work through it over a period of time.

Some discussion with him about cannabis would be useful as well. It's not the stuff our parents might have smoked back in the 60s/70s as these plants have been cross pollinated and as such are much stronger. He needs to know and understand that.

Sorry - higher should read more likely. Unfortunate change of wording given the topic!

Ffs it was one joint shared between a few kids, hardly a bag of smack! And before anyone gets all uppity with me, no a 15 year old kid shouldn't be smoking anything, let alone a joint, but should his entire education be risked for one fuck up?
OP, go into the meeting and see what they have to say. Obviously he'll need to show remorse (and mean it) and you'll need to be clear that you're not happy with his behaviour and it won't happen again. Good luck, apparently nobody here (or their kids) have ever fucked up ever
I'm fully aware I'm going to get flamed for this, but all of you who will, you're the kind of people who would write off a kid over one mistake. So I couldn't give a fuck what you think.

I can see both sides of this. We all have personal views and in one post the op suggested that the weed smoking was less of a concern to her than tobacco. She also then accepted that the school wouldn't want to hear this.

Under the circumstances the op has taken the opportunity to seek legal advice. As exclusion - temporary and permenant - are legal issues then this is not necessarily a bad thing. She hasn't, again, suggested that she would go in all guns blazing but rather is keen to ensure that her CHILD gets a fair chance.

Those who would rather the boy was permenantly put out - where does that leave him? Children who are excluded from school are significantly higher to go on to take up drugs as a habit (op has said nothing to suggest that this was nothing more than a one off) and engage in criminal and risk taking behaviour. Schools are under inmense pressure to consider all of these factors and must prove that for the child to remain in that school would be seriously detrimental to the safety and wellbeing of others in the school.

She seems perfectly well aware to me that certain behaviour and responses will make the school more likely to be supportive than others. What she does with that is up to her really.

You are going to need to adjust your attitude towards drugs.

If you approach another school for a place they will ask why your son is moving schools in an exam year. You will have to tell them the truth (as, they will ask his current school and can refuse him once they find out if you haven't told the ) and part of that process will be showing any potential school that you accept your son did wrong and that you have taken steps to to address drugs, his attitude towards them, the fact that he broke the law AND that you will fully support the school in any further actions they require (e.g drugs counselling, workshops, a signed guarantee from you that you accept that they have a zero tolerance policy and that he will be removed if there is any suspicion he is using or dealing drugs even outside of school).

I'm afraid you do seem a bit flippant about the fact that your son was caught doing something illegal and that he'd clearly done before.

What I was actually asking for advice for was on how to handle the resolution meeting so that I didnt need to lawyer up.

How to handle the meeting is exactly that I've been trying to tell you. And the short answer is; handle it nothing like you've handled this thread.

And you have already lawyered up