Temporary exclusion and threatened permanent exclusion

user1483060276
Wow, wait a moment.
He has a right to education up until he is 18.
He has a right to stay in a school he is enrolled in unless excluded
He has a right to have the school follow the law if he is excluded
He has a right to appeal any exclusion.

Two things as I understand them
1/ for the first two statements the answer is in a education establishment. Not necessarily in this school.
and
2/ this is a statement personal to me. (IMHO) he didn't give a shit about the law when he was breaking it.

So just because he wants to stay in this school doesn't mean that he will.

as for
but I'd be afraid that he'd see it as trying to force him into college.

He may not have a choice.

I've not made any comment on the morality of teen drug use although I am silently judging.

But to help clear up your confusion...

If a child is over 16 and is failing to comply with school rules (behaviour/attendance/effort) we can and will hand them a leavers form and remove them from the register. I have no idea where you've got the idea we can't do that from - but we can and do and I know plenty of other schools who do the same. Post 16 education is a choice. If a student makes that choice then they are agreeing to follow school rules. If a school feels that is not happening then they can act accordingly. Given your attitude towards rules/laws then I can't see that working massively well for your son.

You're still genuinely surprised at the reaction? Really?

Keep on like that, and good luck with the school - and your son's future - because you will really need it

I also hope mnhq don't delete the thread - there's no need

I'm curious about whether or not the OP's son told them who he bought it from? And what happened to the other boys that "used" the weed as well? Surely people have discussed this, but I note the OP has not mentioned it at all.

Apparently because she's "gotten all the useful information out of it" that she needs. No other issues. Well, other than the issue that she's not happy with the way the thread went.

Ah, cross post!

I don't think it has become a debate about cannabis use so far but I can see that you have underestimated how other parents at the school may feel when they hear about this (and they will).

OP, you've asked for the thread to be deleted? On what grounds?

I hope it's left up too (sorry OP) but I think that when people are advocating kids being cast to one side instead of educated because they've transgressed there is a need to challenge it. Too often the "solution" is to "get rid" of kids viewed as "undesirable" by certain posters and it really gets me angry. We have a duty to educate children, and when they fuck up, educate them why it's not a good idea. The concept of writing off young adults sickens me.

I doubt MNHQ will consider that grounds for deletion. I hope they won't anyway.

The threads sometime morph into other discussions. As you no longer need it, and some of us feel it is educational, I hope that MNHQ will leave it up.

Well, good. Because I strongly disagree with you.

Another poster requesting the thread is deleted because they didn't like the replies they got.

So because you don't like the responses to the fact that your son has cocked up big time and you view drug taking as no big deal, you're asking for the thread to be deleted.

Says it all really.

MNHQ - Please DO NOT delete this. She's not identified herself or her son. I suspect that she's angry that MN didn't agree with her.

This is a hugely educational thread for parents and I think it needs to remain up.

At no point did I say it was better to be "moral and healthy" rather than law abiding. FFS not sure where you got THAT out of what I said. I actually was pretty clear that I am appalled at the lack of concern or respect given by you and your son to the fact that he broke the law.

Whoa!! Don't use ME as an excuse. I still think he was massively stupid for doing it and I think you're doing what is the equivalent of a pat on the head instead of getting across the message that he was monumentally stupid.

And you both are too arrogant by half, dismissing the fact that he broke the law.

See? I try to be reasonable and you act like I'm agreeing with you. I'm not.

"I'm more concerned that I raise a child who is moral and healthy rather than law-abiding for the sake of it".

Right. Personally I'd rather my children were both law abiding and morally decent but maybe that's just me.

She did say he bought it. I don't think he should be permanently excluded, but I do think he needs a wake up call. I don't know what his chosen career path is, but I can't imagine further drug use is going to help him in any way. I think some serious in-school consequences need to be put in place.

I'm concerned not as much about the weed but about the disregard and disdain shown for the law. Just where are his legal boundaries and where would he draw the line? To me, that is the bigger concern as it means this is the tip of the iceberg.

I am in Scotland.

My school has refused entry to the building in the past. I completely understand that you don't want to accept this but why would I make it up? The school has a responsibility to all students - they need to make a decision here which is best for everyone. You and your son are coming across as arrogant and as having no respect for the school or the other students there and I doubt that will go down well with the school.

You need to understand the schools policy on drug use on site. They have the authority to implement their own policies and pupils do have to comply with them. Most have a zero tolerance policy, for obvious reasons, drugs and children don't mix. You also have to understand their policy on illegal behaviour on site, as your son both bought and used drugs whilst on school premises.

They do have to follow a process, i.e. Meeting within seven days etc, and you should have been told this process, inc right to appeal, and you should also understand the options, inc a managed move or remote learning if the expel.

On a side note I think the fact that both you and he can't get "worked up"about him doing drugs at fifteen in school is shocking and I suspect this attitude will do you damage at the meeting. As such, to stand any chance you will need to lie and say you are vehemently against children doing drugs and ensure it never happens again and what you've done to ensure it will never happen again.

As you can see by most of the responses, nearly all responsible adults are actually vehemently against children doing drugs, never mind adults. So your reaction is unusual that you don't really see it as a big deal. The fact you're quite taken aback by the responses is concerning, did you really think parents were going to tell you this was in any way ok?

I think resolution meeting implies finding a positive way forward for everyone, your son, the school and the other students. In my experience permanent exclusion decisions are rarely made lightly. If this is a one off incident and your son is able to articulate clearly what he has done wrong and what he means to do to try and put it right then there is a possibility he may be able to stay within the school. Schools, quite rightly take a zero tolerance stance towards illegal drugs on site, the school leadership will need to be convinced it will never ever happen again. They will be looking to you as parents to reinforce this message and work with them into the future. If school leaders feel parents are working with them they will often go the extra mile - I know I did. If they feel parents are making excuses and looking for technicalities to get round exclusion regulations they will be less tolerant. If I was leading the meeting I would want to know:
Everyone present shared an understanding of the facts of the case
Your son accepts responsibility for what he did wrong, makes a meaningful apology and is able to say how his behaviour will be different in the future
The support and monitoring strategies the school feels are appropriate in this case
You understand your role as parents in supporting the school with any monitoring and support strategies they feel are appropriate to the case
A clear acceptance by everyone that the use of illegal drugs in school is unacceptable

Young people can make mistakes - what is important in these meetings is that we don't make excuses but make it very clear what the expectations are for them to succeed in the future. Your son needs to see the authority figures working together in his best interests.

I don't think it really matters if its scotland England or the moon. OP asked how to approach the meeting, pretty much every poster has said apologise apologise take responsibility etc etc. A lot of us appear to have experience of schools ( another governor here) the message is eat some humble pie and you may come out of this ok.