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Original poster

DS Expelled - drugs

105 replies

TapasGirl · 18/12/2016 10:16

I have posted this in Parenting but see from previous posters on here that others have had similar experiences and would like to draw on those experiences if anyone is able to help.
DS is going to be expelled tomorrow year 11 for selling drugs to another student.
DS' explanation is that he and friends (who have smoked weed on various occasions, as it has all come out now) put herbs into a bag to sell on as weed to make some cash.
The pupil he sold to realising it was herbs reported him to the Head. Subsequently everyone has been investigated and it looks as if the evidence against DS is strong. Also when he was investigaged by the Head he confessed to selling Weed to the other pupil

So he/we are in the shit basically and I don't know where to go from here.

I did email the Head of Friday when it all came out to say that we wanted to withdraw DS as I did not want his expulsion on his record.
Since having some good advice from the Parenting forum I have withdrawn that statement, to say we need to be more informed before taking him out.

I do not want him to go to a PRU. I know lots of people say how good they are; how they have turned others lives around etc. but he only has 20 weeks left to do GCSE's and I know this will not work for him. He struggles badly has had Ed Psych reports which School have had. I believe he is probably on the Aspergers spectrum. He struggles socially; eager to please; doesn't get consequences etc.

So tomorrow I want to ask the School to keep him on roll and I will give up my job to support him through his GCSE's at home. But I will need their support to do this as I am not exactly academically gifted myself but sure between us we can scrape through a couple of C's - if we are lucky.

Do you think this might work with the School. Or do you think they will just want him off their roll.

I am absolutley terrified of what is to become of him and am in a very bad place. Your advice (particularly if you have been where I am today) would be really appreciated.
X

OP posts:
CauliflowerSqueeze · 18/12/2016 10:56

I can't see how this would not be a permanent exclusion. No school can support drug dealing. He will not be able to remain on roll - a permanent exclusion will mean he is removed from roll and the county / borough take responsibility for his education.

The PRU will at least be able to give him some 1:1 tuition to assist him and he will be able to sit his exams there. Unfortunately, you don't have other options. You could remove him from roll to home educate but it will not be easy to organise the exams etc. If he was in a younger year group then the PRU could try to place him in another school after a 16 week (often) period of assessment. However, at this stage this is impossible.

The school does not have a duty of care to help a student selling drugs to "get over it" - they have a duty of care to protect the other pupils and yes they absolutely have the right, and a duty to others, to permanently exclude for a one-off serious offence.

Sorry, I am not trying to be negative, but there is really no point going to the meeting with hope that he can remain on roll and get help from the teachers with his exams. PRUs are not filled with hardened criminals - there will be others who are basically good kids who have made bad choices.

titchy · 18/12/2016 10:48

He won't be expelled tomorrow OP. There is a procedure the head has to follow which will take weeks, so don't panic.

Zodlebud · 18/12/2016 10:47

Was it a bit of basil and thyme he sold to the other student or actual marijuana? If it's the first then, whilst not to undermine the seriousness of the offence with regards to a zero drugs policy, it's more like he made a very stupid joke without really thinking about the consequences. Teenage boys do daft things all the time. I work with teenagers abroad in a residential setting and some of the things they do are bonkers. One lad bought a litre bottle of vodka and got really drunk on it. Well, actually it was a bottle full of water and he was acting. Total prat. He almost got sent home and the police involved until the truth came out. He just wanted to be seen as cool.

From the school point of view though, anything that might be interpreted as drug dealing on their property needs to be dealt with. Unless it was actual drugs then I would say work with the school on how best to manage it. Your son needs his tail between his legs big time, to admit it was a really stupid thing to do, and he didn't think his prank would have such serious consequences. Be prepared for suspensions, isolation etc, but if no drugs were on the school property or your son, I think you could argue that an exclusion over a bit of basil at such a critical point in your son's academic life would be extremely detrimental.

I do agree totally with the school taking such a strict stance and he will be used as an example. I do feel you should be able to arrange proper support for your son's studies quietly in the background though whilst being seen to back up their position.

Remember that we all make mistakes, we just need to learn from them and move on. Things always seem worse than they really are and working together with the school you should be able to come up with a happy medium.

Original poster
TapasGirl · 18/12/2016 10:43

Thank you P3 for your lovely post - really appreciated.

The problem is the Head will want him out; he will expel. He has other parents to think about and the reputation of the School.
There is no proof that the bag contained only herbs and to be honest I don't know what to believe myself. DS has confessed that he sold drugs to the pupil when he was interrogated by the Head. Also whether the bag contained herbs or other materials is probably irrelevant as the intent was there to deal.
DS is devastated; we all are. You don't think you will ever be in this position but from here I will never judge anyone again.
I will have to support him through his GCSE's as a PRU is not the place to go. Particularly as he is quite impressionable; eager to be seen as cool etc.

OP posts:
Pandamanda3 · 18/12/2016 10:32

Morning op I have no advise im sorry but didn't want to read & run. You must be up the wall with it all, kids hey they drive you mad and often don't think ahead.
So am I reading right your going to take him out of school? I shouldn't imagine a head could expell a child ready to sit gcse's for one crime.
And let's face it the boy hasn't actually sold drugs has he it was herbs. I know it's not the point but surely they should be supporting him to get to a better place & overcome the issues.

His gcse's can be a stressful time. Don't jump into giving up work to home edu it's hard work I tried it through lack of provision suitable for my dc who has autism.

Id speak to the head & say whilst you support he needs to know it's wrong what he's done you do feel school have a duty of care to him to support him to overcome the issues so he has the best chance to gain gcse's
Op kids make mistakes and any head that can just Palm the child off for 1 mistake needs reporting themselves. How do they learn otherwise they should learn by example of course, talking supporting re-educating his poor choices and do what they can.

Don't get too stressed about it there are worse things, he's got a good mum in you and you sound like you will be supportive of his needs so take 5 have a cuppa and kick heads butt to help your dc
💐 for you x