Is it just us struggling or is homework/family time balance gone to pot?

But I don't see why it has to be one or the other. I am aware that my dc don't need to spend so much time on homework as others, and still be in the top. But like today, whilest driving to swimming dc3 will be learning vocab. While dc2 is at dancing for 3.5 hours, she will have a break of 30 min in which she will eat but also do homework.
Weekends are 2 days, surely you can get away for 1 day to visit family??

Working adults mostly have unpaid domestic labour to get through at the weekend.

DC having time to themselves to do as they please is crucial. But that isn't what the OP is talking about.

It depends whether you/your children want a decent education. It doesn't matter to anyone else. I really don't get all this angst against schools. At the end of the day it's the child who loses out if they get crap exam results. If you/they don't care and are happy to take the risk, then fair enough. But don't complain when your kids get crap grades and then can't get onto their further education course or can't get a decent job. No one else loses out but the child. Getting good grades in exams isn't easy - it's not rocket science - but it needs a lot of time to be spent on studying, practice and revision.

You're never more than a few weeks away from at least a week off.

Right, so it's fine for a school age child to have some form of work 7 days a week for weeks on end. That isn't expected of most working adults.

There are also teacher training days (usually Monday or Friday) spread over the year too. We hardly ever go away for a full day except during a school holiday or a teacher training day weekend - can't remember the last time we did. Homework etc also eases off massively in June/July once the teachers are 'de-mob happy' after the end of year exams which is a good time to relax and take time out.

Can you imagine saying that to a prospective employee? 'Yes, we expect you to work 7 days a week but you'll have weeks off and oh, June and July are quiet so we'll give you a bit less work to do.'

Why is it OK for school age children not to have an entire day of a weekend to themselves? I just don't get it. I did my exams in the 80s when they were supposed to be hard and I was not expected to work those sort of hours. It's insane.

Gosh, at some comments. I initially thought not agreeing about taking a whole schoolday off at sec school, meant taking a school day off. Even that I thought was a bit harsh. But surely a weekend day should be manageable?
Dc2 13 y, has afterschool activities 5 out of 7 days, but will "chip away" whenever she can. Dc3 often doesn't get home till 8pm, but again will do bits and pieces whenever she has 5 or 10 min.
And this is while all dc know that for dh and me academics come before "fun".

I absolutely disagree that no secondary age child should ever have a whole day out during term time.

You're never more than a few weeks away from at least a week off. There are also teacher training days (usually Monday or Friday) spread over the year too. We hardly ever go away for a full day except during a school holiday or a teacher training day weekend - can't remember the last time we did. Homework etc also eases off massively in June/July once the teachers are 'de-mob happy' after the end of year exams which is a good time to relax and take time out.

I absolutely disagree that no secondary age child should ever have a whole day out during term time. That's ridiculous. If adults working full time are allowed time away, so should children. If schools are setting so much homework that their students can't afford a whole day off once in a while, what are they doing when their students are actually at school?

I do agree with cutting down on extracurriculars though - my DDs are Yr 9 and Yr 11 and definitely have 1.5 - 2 hours of homework most nights and that is on top of work they do during lunch and break.

As others have said the issue is the commute. My DS is out at 8am and home by 4pm, so he effectively has 2 extra hours on his day - which is more than enough to do homework or an extra curricular activity.

I had a similar commute when I was a bit younger and then my parents moved closer to my school when I was 14. It made a huge huge difference. Not just the extra time, but the not feeling so tired all the time. I'm sure you chose the school and accompanying school for good reasons, but if he/you are finding it hard now, is it going to even be workable once he's in GCSE/A Level years? Whilst doing bits and pieces on the bus may be possible, it really isn't desirable.

I think there will always be some homework due the next day just because of the timetabling of lessons. In a large school it is impossible to get it all right all the time.
I also think commuting in London is not conducive to getting homework done - no seats, frequent changes of transport, no room to get stuff out of bags, and being mugged if your phone is on display...... For the extra 10 minutes that might be saved here and there, I really don't think it is worth the hassle.

DS also listens to podcasts, which are relevant to the debating society he's in, which in turn has helped his confidence in general.

He will look at maths problems, work out solutions, then write them up when he gets indoors.

Or he might just text me and ask me what's for dinner ...

I guess I'm saying that commute time can be productive. I do sympathise with the pp though who says her DC can't even get a seat sometimes. That's crap.

I also agree with Artandco. My son only has a 20 minute bus journey - the rest of his commute is a mile walk at each end, but he still manages to do "something" whilst on the bus. Sometimes he'll read his English Lit reading book, other times, learn a few words for his German. Even on his walks, he sometimes listens to German on an iphone app. His total commute is an hour each way, so if he did nothing, that'd be 2 hours wasted every day. By doing "something" he probably gives himself another half hour each evening when he can properly do something more fun, that would otherwise have been spent studying instead.

I did what Artandco suggests, pre-internet.

I agree with Artandco too. It's similar to what I used to do, and worked fine.

I agree with your general approach Artandco, in that breaking it down into manageable chunks and chipping away at it is a good idea.

shocked to the core Bobo, you do lead a sheltered life. I think the suggestions for bits that COULD be done on the bus without much hassle were very sensible, though I'd also have thought OP's child could have worked this out himself

He gets 3 - 4 pieces a night, 45mins-1hr each. Some is due next day, some the day after, some as much as a week, so that is always taken into account when planning each evening.

Well that's wrong for a start. Teachers should never set homework that is due in for the next day. Sounds like the teaching staff need to organise themselves a bit better at that school.

"the first bit of reading what has to be done and the starting of research could easily be done whilst commuting"

You are assuming that the child has enough data to do this and has access to a decent connection while commuting.

I didn't say only 30mins over breakfast! I meant if they usually spend say 3hrs on a Saturday. They could still fit that in whilst visiting granny for example by breaking it up into 60mins before breakfast (one parent guiding so no time wasting), an hour after lunch at grannies, then leaves only an hour to do on return in the evening rather than all 3hrs at once

What's wrong with the suggestions? Im not suggesting he does all Homework on bus but starts looking at what to do/ look up stuff/ think/ revise language vocabulary. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm not saying do that instead of at home but as well as

If it takes an hour at home to look up homework, research Henry 8th and write an essay on it, the first bit of reading what has to be done and the starting of research could easily be done whilst commuting. Add some facts in bullet points they find. Then when home finish research and write up. Saving 10-15 mins per hour

If homework is learn 10 French words from list. That can easily be looked at on bus for 10mins. Then when home they can write them down.

If art work is research Picasso and Rembrandt and do two drawings in the style. They can start researching artists and the style on commute. Note basic facts about them. Then when home begin straight on actual artwork.

It's not about just doing homework on bus, but using that time to reduce the amount at home but fitting in the boring basic bits that don't require much but time

English often requires books or poems to be read. Start on bus reading book, analyse when home etc

This is a child preparing for his GCSEs and who will use predicted grades to get into sixth forms I presume. 30mins of homework on the bus or over breakfast isn't going to cut it. He needs to devote time to this, and this means sacrificing a bit of family time in the weekends. He's old enough to be left at home while you visit fil surely?

There is no way anyone would be able to any homework on the school buses round here. They are too crowded and too noisy. DD often ends up standing.