Have year 7's always been this over-dramatic?!

My DD didn't have an easy time with friendships in Year 7. There was a big fall out with her main friend, they are no longer friends. She's probably lovely, but this girl seems a bit odd now as I think DD is better off with other friends. She did have fall outs with others, but sorted them out or they've learnt to accept others faults. It's certainly not easy for them (or us) going through this, but I think it's part of finding who they fit in with. Now DD is in Year 11 now, part of two brilliant friendship groups and there are plenty of others she can chat to if her friends are prefecting/doing coursework at lunchtimes.

If nastiness goes from more than being difficult or making the odd nasty comments (ie my DD felt threatened by one girl and this came to a head out of school) do raise it with the school. My DD's school were fantastic, within an hour they'd heard both girls side of the story and it was explained to DD what would happen if this girl continued. It stopped there.

We're having it the other way round. DS wasn't in the 'in crowd' in primary school. People liked him, but he wasn't 'alpha' enough for the football boys and he had friends who were girls, which made him an oddball. Now he's in year 7, suddenly having friends who are girls has elevated his social standing massively. There's a lot of 'playing' at having boyfriends and girlfriends, but behind it they are finally learning to make proper friends with the opposite sex. DS currently has a 'girlfriend' but I think it's all very innocent and I'm just really pleased at how happy he seems to be making all these new friends. I am always doubtful about social media but I have snooped on his instagram and there's nothing mean on there - just a whole load of new friends.

First term of year 7 was a bit like this
lots of drama
who likes who
girls trying to find their "group"

it settles down quickly. this half term probably the peak!

I had a lot of fears about Y7 (all girls grammar) but the school gives the girls a class at the start about supporting each other, encouraging each other and that it is alright to be different as long as you are kind and considerate of others. It could have fallen on deaf ears but it seems to have really worked. The girls have friendships but some are fairly fluid. No bitchyness. Some are sporty and some are not and they all seem to respect each other for not being the same. It may of course all change further up the school but OP and Justspeak perhaps, if they haven't already, the school could deliver a lesson in PSHE like my DD benefited from??? Reading some of these posts I am shocked at how manipulative some of the boys are being, maybe they don't have lovely mumsnetters parents giving them guidance on how to respect and support each other.

I think I'm year 7 they feel overwhelmed arriving in secondary school desperate to fit in and be popular, some of them lose their common sense. They are only children though, playing at being grown ups.

My tutor group are year 7 and I deal with this every day. It's so sad, they're still so young and the language they hear and repeat is awful, the way they try to tear each other down is terrible too.

I wonder how much being packed into groups of the same age range, in one homogenous group, causes these issues. They're so desperate to fit in and stand out at the same time.

Girls think it's funny I think and yeah nothing to do with state or private sorry to hear of that justspeak
But if that's shocking DD is (18) and is at the end of abuse from a 28 year old woman and many other women in a Facebook group ranging from 22-40+ sending her a lot of abuse ranging from racial to emotional and threatening behaviour and referring to DD as harvey price Katie prices son. DD is obviously very distressed but just shows how bitchy some girls are

It's a very small group of girls behaving like this, and they get a lot of attention. I'm trying to get my DD to understand they may seem confident, but their need for male attention is probably because they don't feel so great about themselves. Of course these girls always have a new boyfriend, and many other girls aspire to this.

just speak that sounds awful. It's not like that in DS's school. I chat regularly with one of the girls who is an old friend, and is much one of the In Crowd - she's had a lost of attention from the boys early on, but has just laughed it all off, with a toss of her hair. Girls very much in charge, and no way would they be showing their underwear. They're still into (rather cool Japanese) cartoons.

Going to ask for my first post to be removed as although it doesn't look identifying, it might be to people who've heard me say the same in real life

God that was long....

My experience has been similar.

There is a lot of 'asking each other out' it seems as if the boys are in charge, they like to 'reject' the girls or go out with them and then break up in front of their mates to humiliate her. They go out with one girl and then her best friend the very next day splitting friendships.

I can't understand why these girls allow themselves to be used like this it's really depressing.

My DD has shown me the type of selfies the girls post on instagram and snapchat. Provocative 'mirror selfies' in their underwear, pouty selfies wearing make-up and using filters. With hundreds of people liking them and commenting, they 'tag' boys in the photo to get their attention and then get comments. Girls with the most comments and likes are hated by other girls, bickering also starts amongst the girls when someone's boyfriend comments on another girls photos. Again causing trouble between friends.

My DD is pretty and clever and kind, quite shy. She doesn't post selfies or chase after boys, although has silent crushes from
Time to time. She feels as if there is something wrong with her as she is overlooked by the boys who find her boring.

We have had some very long talks where I have tried to show her that not all boys are like this, there are quieter more sensitive boys out there who don't try to bring the girls down, and with age they will mature (as will she) and she will find herself a real boyfriend when she is old enough and ready.

She feels very low at times, there is a lot of low key 'negging' going on, it really depresses me and I feel like I am constantly lifting her up after a day at school of not feeling good enough.

I wish these girls would stick together, stop competing and lift each other up instead of letting silly boys attention make them turn on each other.

The girl doesn't sound nice if she shouts at her and unfollows her etc. I hope she meets nicer people and the class settles down. I went to a girls' grammar and i remember at the beginning of year 7 (called 1st year then) the whole class sort of ganging up to make fun of a girl. We'd all come from different schools and it was like some horrible group bonding against a common victim thing. The girl left and things settled down but i remember another girl being ganged up on in year 9. I had a girl be quite nasty to me in the sixth form in the same school. So i guess meaness has always gone on in different types of schools.

DS watched from afar last year (he is amazingly aloof ).

Year 8, and it actually seems to have calmed down a bit. The groups of children who are particularly dramatic are still going through the motions, but the rest are just getting on with school and stuff.

A lot of it was social media based.

Meet new friends not new drama llamas i mean.

DD is experiencing the same. I blame some of the tosh on television (bloody hell, how old do I sound?!). Watch any American drama on Disney or something like The Next Step on CBBC and the relationships portrayed are all high drama, nasty shouting, game playing and falling out over nothing. They see it and think that is how to behave.

Could you have a word with her form tutor if she is feeling overwhelmed? They may have some suggestions. Could she go to the library if feeling overwhelmed? Might even meet other kids there. Dd's nice pals all go to orchestra if that is a possibility. Other clubs? To be away from the drama llamas and maybe meet new ones.

It has absolutely nothing to do with whether the school is private or state. IMO social media has a lot to answer for.

DD had friendship issues in year 7 and in year 10. Girls can be utter bitches regardless of how wealthy their parents are.