School trips abroad. If we say no to going on the trip, how will this effect DD?

It's not all about the educational value. I was never allowed on any overseas school trips even though the money could have been found if my parents had allowed me to go. ALL my friends went on both trips and I really felt left out of all the in jokes etc. I was really talented (national prize winning) in one of the subjects related to a trip and my teachers kept telling me I should be going. But my parents didn't see the value in it. If my DC want to go on a trip like this I will move heaven and earth to let them as I know how sad I was about not being able to go.

At dd1's school they did a whole year residential (in the UK) at the ends of y7 and y9 and these were seen as very important that everyone went, and loads of notice (I think we had the first meeting about the y9 one in y8) was given to make sure all practicalities/finances/etc could be sorted out.

All other trips, and all trips for my kids at two other schools, have been very restricted on numbers, e.g. one coach load, or about 30 if flying (have just had a letter back from dd3's school about a humanities trip to Italy - 28 places for a year of 240 - clearly very nice if you go, but not at all an issue if you don't!). They've all been "put your name down, names will be pulled from a hat if oversubscribed". So all entirely optional. DD2 did a French work experience exchange, ds went to CERN and the WW1 Battlefields, dd3 is about to do a Battlefields trip. Between the four of them there are all sorts of trips they haven't done, such as skiing, Spain, Germany, France, theatre trips, etc etc.

At DD's state school, everyone went on the Y7 trip to Europe.
It was a big confidence boost, helped friendships and tied into languages, art and history topics at school
I'm not sure if the take up will continue to be high for the Y8 trip.

If she doesn't want to go and you see no advantage for her then don't bother. Tho of course the advantage of a trip like this is often the social aspect/chance to go away with your mates, as others say.

I think at primary the ethos is for everyone to go on trips. This is very much not the case at secondary.

I run a trip to Normandy for year 7s every year; last year a lot of the students asked me what would happen if they didn't go. It was fine. In fact we couldn't possibly have taken them all! Out of a possible 120 we could take a max of about 65 so I would have been in big trouble if they all wanted to go :)

I agree with others tho, check how many do go. BTW we go overnight on a coach too - this is so that we don't waste a precious day of the trip actually just getting there.

As teacher I never saw any educational value whatsoever in these trips.
Don't waste your money.

My ds didn't go on the £1500 trip to Iceland with geography but still managed to get an A*

Even at private schools there seem to be fewer children going on the school trips nowadays. I think that many people find that they can have a family holiday for only slightly more nowadays.

As it's first year in secondary school I think there will be a large element of friendships strengthening so I would consider how well she has settled into to school so far and the proportion out of the year going. DS went on a similar trip and had a great time but I've said no to the expensive ski trip looming.

Dd went on both of her French trips (she paid for one out of birthday & Xmas money)

In year 7 most went but in year 9 only about half. Dd loves languages so felt itvwas important to her but had it been a history or geography trip probably wouldn't have gone.

I'd let her go, but for the social and personal side of attending - fostering independence, sharing a room with other pupils, going on the ferry / Eurotunnel etc. rather than the language per se.

What aspect of overnight coach travel worries you? It's common for the drivers and if it's a long drive, rather than just a late ferry, they will have 2 drivers who swap over so one can sleep.

My son has been on a few trips and missed a few trips. To be honest, he doesn't seem bothered either way. He's never told us he's felt left out of anything. When they get back, school life just seems to carry on as normal. Despite what they say, there are always several kids who don't go on the residential/foreign trips for various reasons, so it's highly unlikely your DD will be the only one left in school whilst the others are away. School will either run the lessons as normal if there are a number of them, or put them in with other classes if just a handful or less.

The first time he missed one, we made sure to ask the teacher about any projects or other school work they may do in class once they are back and how they'd cope with my son being unable to participate, but the teacher was clear that there'd be no classroom or homework re the trip and that lessons would just carry on as if the trip hadn't happened. And that's exactly what we have experienced.

In his last year at primary school, "all" his year were going to an outward bound centre on the Isle of Man for a week. The letters home etc made out that everyone went and was just short of saying it was compulsory. For a few reasons, we told them my son wouldn't be going, and got phone calls from the class teacher and headmaster asking why and putting pressure and the usual emotional blackmail about missing out etc., As it turned out, there were 7 out of his class of 29 who didn't go and once the others returned, hardly anything was said by neither teachers nor pupils - all forgotten within a day!

I am still gutted at 40 years of age about the second year trip I didn't go on. As a shy quiet girl it was the social aspect that I missed out on and the sense of 'belonging' in the weeks and months afterwards that heightened my upset.
I had a chat with my mum recently and it came up. The reason given that I always accepted was the cost, but my mum said that now with hindsight she says she would have found a way to find the money. Even though it may not have changed the fundamental unhappiness of my school years she would have done it to at least give me a few weeks of 'belonging'.

My son went on a trip like this in Y7 with a 24 hour coach journey. Half the year do that language and about half of them went because they only had one coach. I don't know if they had a ballot for it, but they had done for other trips since which my son didn't get a place on.

Not everyone will go so it's up to you. But even if she's fluent, surely it's a good experience anyway?

nocampinghere They may not have the opportunity to do this. Our school put children into one of two European language streams for years 7 & 8. Most children received their preference, but some were just allocated a language if they had no preference.There was no opportunity to take a second language, despite most of the language department being fluent in a third language. MFL was not compulsory from year 9 onwards.

on another point, why is she learning a language at school she is already fluent in? surely most schools push bi-lingual children to take a different language option?

Overnight coach is normal and fine too.

I'd be very reluctant to not send her . This sort of thing ( assuming all/most of the year go) is bonding them as year group for school life. To not have that shared experience will set her apart from the main group if you are not careful. Going and getting to know everyone will mean all the " I have to move groups" stresses down the line are much less

We had a Y7 trip like this and practically the whole year went (it was shorter and I imagine heavily subsidised). It was a big bonding thing with not very much French and lots of hysteria, overtiredness and ridiculous arguments fun, and much reminisced about in future years.

I don't think her ability with the language is necessarily that relevant, it's the social aspect that matters here - if she wants to go and if all her friends are going.

Are the majority likely to go? I doubt it is as much about learning language as exposure to a different culture and bonding for the children and staff. If many are likely to go then what is planned for those who stay.

My oldest didn't go on one school trip abroad. it didn't affect her education at all, most of them seem to be a bit of a jolly with not a whole lot of learning (paris for two days, disneyland for 1?).

DD2 will probably not get to do these trips either. We just can't afford it and can't justify paying that amount of money out.

Again, it depends how many children are going.

If it's most of the year group, then she may really enjoy the independence and fun of a trip with her friends. My DS really benefitted from his year 7 residential.

If it is just a few children, then maybe not

Unless it's a private school or you're in a very affluent area, I would imagine only a fraction of the year group that will be going anyway. So will make no difference to your DD.

That said, why are you so anxious? There will be other similar trips in the future - I would definitely say it will affect her if she can't go on any of them!

I have been in your position, OP. I didn't send DD and it was totally fine.