ASD in mainstream secondary

Tbh dd has TA support in all her lessons and some of it has been worse than useless if I'm frank and in fact at times it would have been preferable for her to run the gauntlet of some of the subject teachers (who in the most part have been very supportive) than be saddled with the ineffectual bums on seats besides her.
Dd has a statement which should ameliorate the difficulties but her needs weren't circulated until a safeguarding fail (by SENCo and one of the useless TAs) which ensured that the HT oversees her support in return for me not making a formal complaint so it is better now at least if only because they know I am trouble and there will be no more chances.
My tip would be to arrange meetings, get agreements on what sort of support would be useful a toilet pass, some sort of homework alert system for home, sessions with keyworker so that he can establish some sort of trusting relationship with them and has someone to confide in. Consider applying for an EHCP yourself so that you can get a formal recognition of his needs and a legal requirement of the school to meet them and make sure you document absolutely everything every meeting or phone call you email afterwards with what you understand to have been agreed. Incidents where he's been refused the toilet, unable to do homework, missed a snack or lunch and the effects at home after a stressful day in school. It is documenting that will get results so don't be led into a false sense of security with informal friendly chats you need written evidence.
Consider contacting his paed or GP and CAMHS to discuss the effects on his health poor support and the increased anxiety as a result is having.
Fundamentally make yourself the biggest PITA possible, sod what he school think of you I'm universally hated by Learning Support (I learned that from a confidentiality breech that led to TA being disciplined) and I don't care in the slightest dd gets the support I demand delivered by the TA's I have agreed and documented to my satisfaction which is 100% more than any other poor child in that school.

My DS is now in Yr12. The individual teachers have all tried their best over the years but, as Noblegiraffe says, there are real limits to what they can actually do.

I found that DS' form tutor was the best person for contacting teachers and making arrangements etc. The SENCO had potentially hundreds of pupils in their care whereas the form tutor only had a small group.

There tends to be a blanket ban on toilet visits during lessons because of the reasons already mentioned. Exceptions tend to be at the discretion of the teacher, eg SN, or girls with period issues. In the early days they are likely to be quite strict about this but I found that as DS became more known to the teachers, they were more lenient with him as they knew about his ASD and also that he was quiet and well-behaved.

I think the idea of actually writing toilet visits into his timetable is a good one. As a back-up I would email his form tutor again to ask if any other arrangements could be put in place.

The tutor also contacted the teachers about homework and a potential issue with noting it down. Different teachers took different approaches to this. Some had the homework instructions pre-printed on sticky labels for the whole class, which they then stuck in their planners. A couple would help him to finish writing it down if the lesson was about to end. Others would email me with the details about the homework.

As he became more settled, he became much better at finding a system that worked for him.

I do have empathy towards these children, of course I do, but you are expecting a tailored individual and highly personalised approach to your children. Of course you would want and hope for that. What I'm saying is that so are the parents of the 30 other kids with SEN in my classes and the parents of the 200 other kids, some who will have issues but no diagnoses and realistically a highly personalised approach isn't going to happen. I can't do it, and I really care. That's why we have things like toilet cards, time out cards to act as prompts to teachers. That's why any routines you set up at home to anticipate system failures will be needed at some point.

You may care, but you don't understand, noble giraffe. If your child is facing the same issues I do urge you strongly to inform yourself better about the condition. You will be in a much better shape to deal with the problems. Shrugging your shoulders and saying "it's all to hard" ceases to be an option when it's your child.

That was my experience too Verbena37 Sorry no words of wisdom it was something I frequently had to raise with the SENCO All subject teachers were given one page 'pupil profile' sheets but it didn't sink in with some teachers.

the likes of noblegiraffe frighten the living daylights out of me.

Trust me, it's really not because I don't care. My own DS is currently waiting for an ASD assessment.

Nobody abused the system

The thing is, kids do abuse the system. They arrange to meet up in the toilets, they wander the corridors, they ask to go to the toilet because they just fancy getting out of the lesson. Until you've taught a class where half a dozen kids have their hands in the air asking to go to the toilet 'because you let X go!' you might not realise just how disruptive it is not to have a blanket ban with allowances at teacher discretion.

I know that you want every teacher at secondary to know him as well and care for him as well as the teacher at primary, but with a dozen teachers and hundreds of kids involved, that's just not possible, especially this early on in the year. Teacher simply don't have the headspace for all that detail to be at the forefront of their mind with every interaction with every child.

That's why systems need to be in place to overcome those limitations. Toilet cards, time out cards and so on are good prompts to teachers to make allowances where they might otherwise not.

as the parent of a child with ASD, the likes of noblegiraffe frighten the living daylights out of me.
how far we still have to go. Sorry that's no help OP.

So far (ds is in year 9) the school's approach to sen is to keep chipping and chipping and chipping at that beautiful quirky square peg until it will finally wedge into a round hole.
I had to sit through a parents' evening of 'he need to be more organised' 'he doesn't focus' 'I don't know what to suggest' 'I have 200 other pupils blah de blah' 'he needs to be XYZ' ETC ETC ETC. Not one suggestion how they would help him despite them being aware of his ASD. Basically almost all were saying he needs to be less austistic. Not one had flagged him up with the senco. As far as she's aware they suck it and see. I'm going to be bloody on it this year.

" if the student then told me they have ASD or were anxious to go when it was busy I would let them at a suitable point in the lesson"

This just illustrates what a child with ASD is up against in school. All day. Every day.

However sen friendly the school's policies claim to be there is an almost complete lack of awareness of ASD and associated issues.

Even though his friends take the piss out of going to the special room which is mean but the sort of banter thing I have just been reading about on another thread what are they actually like with him generally?

I'm so sorry, OP. I haven't reached this point yet but your posts have almost made me cry - on the bus! - for your poor DS. I am terrified of this for my DS who's just gone in to year 5. Only reading this have I realised how he'll struggle to cope

Please phone and ask senco for a meeting. Maybe even the Head of Year to be at that meeting as well?
His needs should be circulated to all his teachers. Or at least his diagnosis and a request for a tiny bit of awareness, from all his teachers to him.

At both the school I work at and the school my DS goes to, all homework is put on to the school intranet by subject teachers - at my school that then generates an email to the students with the details of the homework. At my son's school, he has a planner on his ipad which all the homework is automatically uploaded to. This use of digital learning seems more and more common - is there any way technology can be used to help support your DS with organising his homework?

I'm afraid that as a subject teacher, unless I had notification from the SENCO that X was to be allowed to go to the toilet whenever requested (which has happened in the past) our policy is very much to try to limit toilet visits. So if your DS is not able to remember to go at break, it might be worth asking the SENCO to flag his name up with teachers in this way specifically.

I think if you phone up the school and explain about him not being able to work out how much time he has left at break / holding in and having leaks / late night meltdowns they will (surely!) give him a pass to go to the toilet.
He has a diagnosis and the school need to make reasonable adjustments
Another tip for remembering one off things ( giving in a letter etc) is for him to wear a band around his wrist on that day ( we had a lot of success with our dd with this one)
Fwiw.. it will improve... he'll get more of a feel for the timings ( how long break feels like) and routine of school. It just takes longer . But yes definitely ask for a bit more awareness of his situation. Good luck!

My HF ASD is year 8 at mainstream secondary. He has a pass so that he can go to the focus centre when necessary (much better name for these rooms that I have seen higher in the postings). The focus centre is available for anyone who needs it and they have to have a pass to be allowed in. He has never gone to the playground at break. We have various lists written down for him at home and in his bag and we usually update these with him so we can discuss why things are on there. He does have a homework diary and one of the key points on his IEP is to make sure that he writes it down (his IEP hasn't actually been updated at any point though). We. Have also had to get into a routine for homework at home to avoid arguments

I'm a TA at Secondary school, I've not had the details for each individual child in year 7 yet and certainly not remembered all the names. We work on a 2 week timetable so I might only see them a couple of times a fortnight. I work with over 400 students in that time an whilst I'll get to know who needs blue paper or who needs help writing their homework I'm not there just yet. Year 7s are settling in and I get asked lots of times (particularly after break and lunch) if they can go to the toilet and the stock response is "no" we can't have students wandering around the corridors, if the student then told me they have ASD or were anxious to go when it was busy I would let them at a suitable point in the lesson.

Many of our older ASD students have toilet passes and this is filtering through to the year 7s as we get to know their needs. Our vulnerable children ASD/anxious/medical needs have access to the library at lunch.

Other strategies we have is a home school book normally only for those with a 1:1.

It doesn't hurt to phone in SENCOs and pastoral teams are pretty good and they'll send an email around reminding teachers.

The bottom line is unfortunately TAs and teachers are massively over stretched with on going staff cuts and redundancies, yes every child is different and have their own needs but in reality in a busy secondary school even with the best will in the world we can't support them as they are in Primary unless they have funding and dedicated hours.