ASD in mainstream secondary

Why the fuck should they have to fit in ? The Equality Act applies in schools as much as anywhere else, schools have a legal duty to make every reasonable adjustment necessary. Forcing our children to fit in is the reason that so many children and young people with ASD suffer with poor mental health.
It seems to me that ASD isn't recognised as being a worthy disability requiring planning and adjustments to be made by so many not only in schools but on these boards too.

I tend to agree with TheFlyingFauxPas unfortunately. Realistically, there are no proper provisions that can be made, the kids have to fit in.

At my DCs school a lot of children have cards (actually tags attached to their planners), and other children tend to ignore them. (They are for medical,SN, behavioural and young carers among others.)
The school also clamps down heavily on "bullying", so actually there isn't much in the way of "comments" from other students.

My DD with ASD for the first year had TAs in almost all her lessons, and didn't they were for her usually. She now doesn't need that level of support, and is well known enough that most staff (and importantly senior staff) know when she needs understanding.
But you developing a good relationship with the school is key. I personally would be communicating with the "key worker" over the issues of settling in, maybe they can suggest solutions?

I have already emailed two member of staff about a couple of issues this year (SENCO and Head of Year).

verbena I feel like I could have written your posts. Ds1 has hfasd and as also just started year 7. It's certainly a steep learning curve for both of us.

I used to work as a TA in a mainstream high school and we were all expected to know each students needs before going into the class. It wasn't always 100% perfect but we could also check on SIMS, a computer programme to look up a student and their SEN etc.

Sadly I think there's a LOT of teachers who choose to believe that asd is a choice.

"I'm wondering whether setting up a local informal family support group at the school on a weekday morning might help?"

Just re-animating this thread, because I thought of you today, Verbena. We were invited to a coffee morning at school (actually in the attached community learning centre) for parents of pupils supported by the ALN department. Partly it was a catchup session & also a council family support worker was there, but also advertised as an attempt to bring parents together for some mutual support.

Also, re. another of your comments:
"It surely wouldn't be hard for the teacher to have a page for each class, with brief support needs on it? E.g. Verbenas' DS - ASD, toilet, introvert, no touching, fidgets."
I found out today (at the coffee morning!) that the IEP that gets given to all the teachers for supported pupils has a big yellow box at the top with a few key messages, just as you're saying. (So the example was: "If X is upset, leave them to sit quietly, or allow them to leave the class & go to room 6") So these things obviously are possible - even if they don't always work!

Verbena having been through all this with ds2 and pretty well come out the other side (with a spell of home education and an EHCP) I would say that it is worth telling the teachers immediately of any concerns, however small, things that upset your child or bothered him (like losing a sheet or not knowing what the homework was, or who to ask) Those things can often be sorted incredibly easily and next time the teacher will know to be more explicit or to temper their exasperation. No-one will be telling them the small print about your child.

I found that the more I communicated the better things became, whereas the less I communicated the more upset and frustrated I became and son likewise. At the end of Year 7 I found I could have dropped Art homework Music homework had support for ds2 in the choir (which was inclusive, but I didn't realise this) enrolled him in homework club (which didn't appear to be suitable for SEN students when I first asked). By that point I was tearing my hair out in the mistaken assumption that I couldn't ask for any dispensations.

The toilet pass is a very important issue. Would the teachers really want your child to be humiliated by soiling or wetting himself? - it does happen. It is a physiological need - ASD children often have very poor awareness of the need to go until it is too late, and holding on for long periods makes things much worse. I didn't have this problem with ds at secondary but I have had to mention it to teachers in primary because even in primary I cannot think of anything worse than a child wetting themselves in front of their peers.

The other issue you should discuss is the quantity of homework. Decide with the SENCO what they think a reasonable amount of time for your child to spend on their homework across the subjects. It may take your child much longer to complete the homework than another child who is less tired after his school day. It can be tailored. The homework is for your child's benefit not the schools. Keep the discussion open, make suggestions, try not to be on the defensive.

|The worst that can happen is that your child hates school, hates learning, and refuses to go, and makes no friends. It is a possibility. I took ds out of school after Year 7. Despite a kind and supportive SENCo. It can get really bad. Your child is not a burden on the school to be tolerated, he has as much right to be there and to be supported as anyone else, and he can probably give back an enormous amount to the school with the right support. Ds2 is now one of the better behaved children in his new [mainstream] secondary school despite his ASD; I think the staff appreciate that despite some of his difficulties he contributes as much as anyone else to the life of the school.

What helped ds also has been to be in some of the smaller remedial classes for some subjects; even though his ability may have been higher, it was nice to be in small groups occasionally - the relentlessness of the large groups was very demoralising. Also a SEN lunchtime club, which he is now moving away from, joining other groups instead.

I am a tutor who works with many students who have ASD or other special needs. I see how a variety of schools deal with this. Although I do understand what teachers are saying about time and numbers of students, the fact is that some schools manage things much better than others. I'd does need to be system based rsthervthan expecting every teacher to remember every need but it can be done.

Somehow

I completely understand where he's coming from Verbena. It's so early days for all of you re diagnosis but ultimately it must be your ds's decision whether to go public or not. It sounds like his self esteem is pretty low right now. Ds's was, having spent the whole of primary school getting into trouble again and again. Finally diagnosed in year 6. He needs time to sit with it for a while first. Feel his feet ( without his socks 😊 ) My ds has told his close friends. I told him that was up to him. He had so many friendship troubles in year 7 but it's really settled down to a nice small group of lads now. There is some help offered in his school like a homework club but he refuses to go "what and be bullied more he says" Kids can be really shits at this age and he really struggles to fit in as it is without drawing more attention to him. It is a shame the help can't be a little more discreet. What child wants to put his hand up when the teacher says right, who's got SEN ? Which is practically what's happens. 😞 What I'm starting to feel though as ds gets older sis somehow I need to help him deal with all this. I cannot change his world around him (especially when he gets out in the real world - at least in school some effort is made but in real life ... 😔) so somehow I need to get him to the point where he can cope with it.

That's still only 5 out of hundreds of kids. Yes, an individual teacher might have time to take a handful of kids under their wing for hours of extra attention, but it's just not that likely to happen to your individual child. The form tutor should be keeping a pastoral eye on them, the SENCO should have an overview of support, subject teachers will still be learning kids names.

as with many departments, it is kept afloat by supply teachers, who refuse permanent contracts, and reserve the right to walk out of the door for good at the drop of a hat. One has in fact left "for a rest" today, and says he will be back in two weeks, although I'm not sure he will. He is in fact brilliant. But finds the demands of the job incompatible with family life. Staff turn over is very high, and most schools are short staffed.There is a critical and growing teacher shortage in many areas.

your DS has a key worker, but is not accepting support from her? I don't think it is likely anything else will be offered. When he starts to build relationships with individual teachers he might find it easier, although stability among the staff is not a given.

I hope he settles down well, anyway.

verbena you must appreciate that your French teacher was putting all that effort into you but they absolutely weren't doing it for every kid.

I'm a secondary teacher and I think most secondaries, especially the outstanding ones, are not particularly great at dealing with SEN.

I have just started at a new school. SEN information is really hard to find. I usually just see the SEN tick in the register and then I have to go hunting for information. Coming across "SpLD" and nothing more tells me exactly nothing about your child's needs, and I simply don't have the time to investigate every single one of my 200+ students.
By the end of the school year I will have more of an idea.

I know that this is heartbreaking, but it is the reality as I know it.
Around here there are 2 local-ish mainstream schools that are known to be good for children with SEN.
Does your school have a good SEN reputation locally, OP? If not, it might be worth finding out about it.
Teachers usually know which school would be a good or at least better fit.

to you, Y7s struggle at the best of times.

That's because any ASD training says stuff like 'don't like eye contact, don't use metaphors, likes routine' because otherwise they'd be saying 'some don't like eye contact, some are fine, some overuse it, some understand metaphors, some will be fine with random classroom changes and homework not being set on the right day and others won't' which is pretty much as useless as the first lot of training.

I've found the only thing that has helped my understanding of ASD is teaching shedloads of children with it. I've been teaching 11 years but nearly half of teachers quit before 5 years.

It can be done.....it's whether they choose to do it. I believe that if you have the passion to want students to learn, you can make the time to make it happen. I'm sorry, but when you are working a 70-80+ hour week, no you can't make the time. There are teachers unable to make the time to sleep, eat, or see their own children! Maybe many years ago, when a teachers job was actually largely teaching, but the job today is unrecognisable in those terms. I've been in a bigger inner city comp, this week and two teachers in the department have left. One resigned 2 and a half weeks into her teaching career, and one after two days!

It surely wouldn't be hard for the teacher to have a page for each class, with brief support needs on it? the "page we have for each class" runs into many pages. No, there is no time before each class to settle down for a read, and it takes a long time to match each name to a face. I'm sure they have plenty of sheets of information. I have three sheets for each child, one of which would be the succinct report that you mention, but al together, that comes to almost 200 pages, just for the SEN children, not starting on the general information that applies to all pupils.... I'm not saying your child wouldn't benefit from more support, ( who wouldn't!) just that it isn't likely to be available especially if he has turned down the key worker.